My how things change..

[Jenkral16]

Here is a thing I wrote not to many months ago, but Im finishing it now. ( normally I do not share personal journal things online but this one I love)

I'm broken inside, my brain is pasted fried I'm broken inside. My eyes burn from all the tears I gave cried I'm so broken inside. Behind the smile you see is a much smaller much weaker me. I laugh and I joke but I really feel like I might choke on words I'm not sure I'm saying. I'm just broken inside. The days seem long and the nights are longer when you feel like your eyes can stay open no longer you sleep maybe enough to get threw the week I'm broken inside and I'm not sure how to fix it or how long it will take depression anxiety and panic are a terrible fate. My life has not been pretty most days in fact where hell but I pushed it all down to help others not to dwell. Until the day I felt myself break I'm not sure how much more I can take..

what's this I feel my heart my soul are starting to heal. The road ahead is long I'm sure but hope is there and I'm running with her. Time is putting the pieces back together and I know it won't be forever one day I will feel better. Untill then I will be strong and I will find a way to carry on. I'm am not my condition and I will no longer let it control me I can feel it I'm almost free.

There is always hope even when you may not see it life may feel like a living hell but with the right support any thing is possible...if there is one thing this site has shown me is that you are never alone and some will always help..

[Agora1]

Jenkral16, thank you so much for sharing.

[Cymro14]

Jenkral. Can empathise with you completely.

[Cymro14 in reply to Cymro14]

You must stay strong .for what it's worrying your head feels as if it's a pressure cooker. I am giddy unsteady can't focus and on top have a constant hissing tinnitus. I also for the past week am loosing strength in the little second and third fingers of my left hand and they are starting to curl inward. Tough days at the moment. Also ....things not good at home! I know many people worse off than me with awful illnesses and my heart bleeds for them and wish I could reach out. Thanks