I put my blood pressure machine and thermometer in the drawer out of the way, they usually live on or near my sofa 
oh the small things we do!!
my positive thing this weekend: I put my... - Anxiety Support
my positive thing this weekend
Written by
hollow
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302 Replies
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well done Hollow.. Mine is stopping looking at symptoms on the net x
Thanks Lottie, now that is a dangerous pastime. Up to now I've self diagnosed heart problems, M.E. and diabetes and a whole host of other illnesses' with the help of the internet
Mine is going to b and q and not dashing to the loo the minute I got in there just taking baby steps xxx
Ahhh where would we be without public conveniences Hope you managed your shop without the need to dash!
well done to you.x
We gotta keep believing eh.....?
yes hollow never give up trying.x
Well done Hollow.x
HI HOLLOW very bad weather here in wales more like april thunder and lashing down with rain x
HI, arrr had to laugh as my blood pressure monitor and thermometor live within reaching distance. x
HI SAM my b p is a bit on low side especially when i get dizzy 98 58 does yours go high or low when anxious x
hi just joined the site ..hello to you all
thought it was only me who surfed the internet looking for symptoms .i have stopped now ,,after the host of deadly illnesses i think i have . as soon as i read something bad i burn up my legs go like jelly and my arms start to shake .. my husband is forever telling me i worry to much .. i also used to have a thermometer in my bag at all times even when i was working i used to take my temperature 10 times or more per day ... i have daily anxiety i am trying to get under control ...really glad i came across this site i feel i am not alone
Hey hollow and everyone else.
Well done to you all. Well right now I'm up because my body clock's a mess so I can't sleep (must try and get that sorted somehow).
The positive things really count. Last night I deactivated my Facebook account - something I was addicted to and causing me a lot of anxiety. It feels a little weird but I'm already liking my new life without it.
I started doing this about a year ago- looking up illnesses on the internet. When I was very little I often used to asked my Dad the symtoms of specific illnesses 'just incase' I had any.
I've stopped now. You know, it really is amazing the type of symptoms that come from stress/anxiety, and how easily they can be attributed to other health problems. Right near the end of my research I looked up the symptoms of stress, and thought 'ohh' as all of the symptoms I'd be worrying about where also symptoms of anxiety. There really are loads. Nausea, stomach pain, shaking, excessive thirst, headaches, even forgetfulness and speech problems (slowed speech for depression) (The last 3 symptoms used to worry me especially.) There just a few to say the least.
There a lots of worrying illnesses out there but I've learnt simply not to care. My body is okay at the moment, and if it fails on me in the future I'd rather not know and just make the most of feeling okay in the here and now- which is all that is important really.
So now, all I have to battle against is mild - but still moderate and relentless OCD which I've had for five years and have no idea how to get rid of (If I'm honest I think it will always be me). And I'm suspecting now a little social anxiety- but this hasn't been diagnosed. I also have a ton of clutter to deal with (I find it hard to throw things away- even when I do, there is always a mountin of clutter left and it never feels like I have made any progress, it drives me mad..arrgh I just want a clean start), and horrid flashbacks from my past. Oh, and judging by the time insomnia- but maybe not.
But every step counts.
I just go out with friends and enjoy life as much as I can. I'm looking forward to going on holiday to the Isle of Wight on Tuesday with my family. Where I will wear the new outfit I brought for a bargin when I was out with my friend the other day. I can't wait to get away. (Although I will miss you all ! I'm at my Grandparents - they're old fashioned and don't have a computer).
Keep smiling everyone. Best wishes with your fight against anxiety/depression.
Fay xxxxxxx
Sorry for all the mistakes. The late night must be making me clumsey.
*When I was a little girl, I used to asked my Dad about symptoms of specific illnesses, 'Just in case' I had any of them.
^ Might make more sense. Also some other silly typing errors like 'be' instead of 'been' and 'where' instead of 'were' but sure you get the gist. I will probably look at this again tommorow and see all the errors I've made.
Hi Fay, you sound in a good place, happy for you! Enjoy your hols. I've tried to keep on a roll with my positives and have just been out on a bike ride cycling twice as far as norm and twice as fast.
Thankyou. Glad to hear you're getting on well ! 
Keep smiling.
I haven't been out cycling in ages. Really need to start that again.
xxxxxxx
That is a lovely positive post Fay thanks x
Thankyou, Rose! And you're most welcome. Glad I can be of help.
Hope you're not suffering too much with anxiety at the moment- take care & keep smiling.
xxx
Have tried keeping my positives going through the week, been cycling twice this week sometimes my mind screams 'you're going to have a heart attack' even my body joins in with the pains but I keep going. Oddly it seems to spur me on, guess if I am at least I'll be outdoors and not home alone!! But there have been moments when I'm me again, riding without thinking about anything except taking in what is in front of me. The me I was a couple of years ago.
It sounds like you're making positive steps in the right direction and good progress. Getting closer and closer to the person you want to be - happy for you.
Good luck and keep going !
xxx
Hi Fay, thank you out on the bike again tomorrow How are you doing and how was your break away? All good I hope. Did you manage your exams? You don't have to answer that one!!
Hi, I've just spotted this!
When looking back at my comments. Bit of a late reply - sorry.
Well my holiday on the Isle of Wight was amazing. And I'm so greatful and forever thankful that I went and had such a wonderful quality time with my family. (Anxiety doesn't seem like a problem when I'm away either...it's like an escape, like I can be someone else. ..Or like I can be really me? And now I'm rambling. )
Well my exams we're ok thanks. VERY stressful and scary - especially with my OCD tendancies trying to disrupt everything I was doing. But it was enough and I got the grades I needed to carry on. I have some in January - got to get through them next, it's a bit worrying as things have been a little tough - but I'm trying to get out as many positives as I can, like I always do.
How are you coping with the winter?
I know it's a little harder with the cold weather and dark nights.
Hope all is well. Keep smiling. xxxx
Hi Fay, what can I say.... fashionably late! Glad to hear you're holiday went well, I'm determined to get away next year! Congrats on your exams and not letting your ocd get the better of the situation. Penny. Penny. Penny... (if you don't watch The Big Bang Theory you're prob thinking I've lost it just about now).
I seem to be coping well with the winter, the dark means I see less, so less stimulation and the cold makes me shiver and tightens my chest muscles which would normally scare me but my mind knows it's the cold that's causing it.
My bike doesn't like the winter tho and refuses to come out of the garage so I'm trying to do a bit of walking and writing my thoughts/poems in a notebook, something I have been promising myself I would do for years (ahhh so many verses I've lost because of never writing them down)
Nice to see you are still as positive as ever.
Keep it up
Pxxx
Haha yes,
As I reply this it's been a few days to say the least! Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. Thanks..I will NEVER forget it.
I hope you do managed to get away, and have a wonderful time. Thank you. Just this years to get through now! 'Penny - Sheldon! ? Penny - Sheldon! ? Penny - Sheldon! 'Haha yes I do watch it. It's great. Sheldon can be rather annoying at times - but sometimes I think there would be this feeling of security living with him. Although..I WOULDN'T be able to please him when ordering food etc, my memory is just not that good I'm afraid!
Glad you're coping ok with the Winter. You're always more likely to get discomforts during this season arn't you? As long as you know the cause. ..And it will soon be the summer again!
I enjoy walking, we have a dog at ours so I accompany my Dad when he does his duties of dogwalking (she will only go with him). It's nice. Well you sound like me there, I have so many creative ideas but never end up getting them down, eventually I lose them.
Get yourself a sparkly gel pen and some paper!
Thanks Do try and carry on smiling, difficult as though winter is. I have just written my first (semi) positive blog. The title doesn't look so inviting.. but there are places where a.) I'm worrying about others during this season, and b.) I have to be honest about my anxiety issues as I'm introducing myself too.
I do try to provide some positivity and encouragement as it goes along though. Infact I copied and pasted my comment from this thread to the blog. Hope that's ok.
Hopefully speak later,
F xxxx
hiya Fay, just seen your main blog,
I think that we often see so many negative blogs
[quite rightly shared here, in case anyone gets me wrong]
that we tend to forget that positive things are happening. .
People do improve or feel well and leave the site [ok too]
that's why it's nice to have "silly humour" and share good news.
You do provide positivity and help many including even more who don't want to post but read. as Yoda would say "wise you are young one"
seasons greetings!
sandra.
Hi Sandra,
(I am irritated to this has been something like my third/fourth attempt to make a reply to you!...and the last 3 times was the end of Dec before I had to pack my laptop away for Christmas & New Year - which was why I took so long to reply - sorry! 
)
We do and it makes me so sad, but I'm glad at least people can be honest and obtain comfort from doing so - it also builds stronger bonds between people who go through similar things... It's just a shame to see so many suffering. I'm just glad I can share some positivity to try and cheer people up. I honestly believe that's half of the battle - because positive over shadows the negative - we just need to notice it. The other half of the battle? I think a part of it is actually knowing what the problem is (i.e. where the anxiety is coming from), understanding the issues and all their roots. Another part is actually trying to solve the problem. They're just my opinions, though. Perhaps if people just practised the former more they would be closer to winning the battle...?
Anyway, that's just me rambling on. I just want to say thank you for your post Sandra and thank you for all the other times you have helped, supported me, and encouraged me. You have been a really true friend. You're a true friend to all you come across.
I've been away/in the background for a while but I hope I will be back later in the year - hopefully refreshed and rejuvanated and ready to share some more of my insight to everyone.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas and a very Happy New Year - hope we can catch up soon!
Happy New Year and Love to Everyone
Fay xxxx
- And to hollow,
(After all it's your blog) we are in the same predicament: not writing our ideas down. Get some ideas down! 
Hope you're well. FF xxxx
Hello again
2 things
1.) Have started again on here because I think it would be unfair on Jonathan if we kept posting on his question - he would get endless emails!
2.) Realised I forgot my manners yesturday (sorry!) and didn't ask...
Have you been up to much of late? xxxx
P.S. Regards to English - hopefully things we be ok. I mean he's new, and he's under a lot of pressure, so it isn't easy for him. There is a VERY fine line - and I think he's doing his best to try and get the balance. I get the impression that he's actually incredibly nervous and trying his best to cover it up. However, I understand that makes it awkward on both sides. I'm hoping the more he gets to know our sixthform the better things will be. Although I agree with you say about judgement. I do believe it's a waste of time for people to judge others based on what they are looking for because everyone's different.
Well I have just posted a forum on a debate about Standard English - and mine is the only one riddled with typos as per. 
I hope no one says anything or judges me. My concentration has been particularly bad ever since my Grandparents died.
Thank you. To answer your questions about my Uni offers they were my first choice and second choice - in that order. I couldn't believe my eyes! Howbeit, getting the offers is one thing, getting the grades is another. Gosh my post script is longer than the initial bit! lol xxxx
it's not suppose to be a smiley ball it's spose to be this --> :/ concerned expression
Phew! Showers drain the life out of me!
Good idea coming back here me thinks as Jonathan prob gets quite a lot emails and could without us adding to his admin tasks especially if we are going to try and eek this out for a whole year
I imagine it can be nerve wracking for a teacher especially a new one, given time he'll prob turn out to be one of good ones.
Hey that's even better news re your uni offers. Must get grades must get grades must get grades. Penny...
Work and anxiety have been keeping me busy lately. I want to go and see the hobbit but can I sit in the cinema for a few hours....? hmmm I'm not sure but i I would like to see it on the big screen.
Since new year I've gone downhill. I try to stay away from doctors but I went the other week and she wants me to take mirtazipine but I'm not one for meds so I've sat looking at the script for two weeks agonising about whether I should try them or not! It's laughable as it's causing me anxiety the very thing it's meant to relieve can't win!! xx
Me too! I had a bath today, and I was so annoyed as I stayed in there too long! It took it out of me. Hmm.. I'd say make sure they're cold? But I couldn't imagine that being v. pleasent either!
That's what I think the guys got potential and we just need to give him a chance, he will adapt as we will. I'm hoping so anyway. Come to think of it it was a similar situation with my Head of Sixthform - she came with the air of a fire breathing dragon who made Year 7s cry - however once she had settled down she began to mellow and became really popular with the sixthformers. She is really nice, and a good fun, whereas her initial impression was more like an act albeit she is still fiesty and won't take nonsense from people - especially Year 7s! lol
Thank you, hollow, that means a lot. I am in pretty good position because the grades for my second choice are reachable - although my first choice, evidently, is preferable. I just have to try my best and take each day as it comes I suppose.
( lol 'PennyPennyPennyPennyPennyPennyPennyPenny!!! - I'm the Flash!' Sheldon is quite a character isn't he?)
I know what you mean about cinemas. They can be quite unnerving at first sitting in the room. I guess you just have to weigh up wanting to see the film and how comfortable you feel about being there. Don't forget, it's not the end of the world if you don't see it. I usually find though, if I see a really good film on the big screen I usually forget my surroundings anyway because I'm so immersed in the film. But have a think about it.
I'm sorry you feel you've gone down hill. You should have seen the state I was in on something like the 4th of Jan as I rapidly fell from the celebrations of the festive season, and still had the stresses to content with from before Christmas. Please don't try to avoid doctors if you're suffering, they're there to help. And in my opinion, the earlier the intervention, the better.
I really ought to go now as it's slightly passed my bedtime and I've got sixth form classes tommorow and I need to be strong.
Until I hear from you again - or vice versa. Night
xxxx
Hello there you, hope you slept well. How are feeling today? Good I hope.
I was snowed in today so couldn't get to work yay but it also means I lose a day's annual leave boo!
I feel a bit brighter today for some reason, so much so that I rearranged one the bedrooms, wasn't at one with the ley line feeling of it all
Oh baths I've given up on those as they drain me even more than showers, I'm sure they never used to. Great before bed though as if I can make it from the bathroom to the bed then I'll sleep like a log, a bean, a bug in a rug, a baby.....you get it.
I have no biscuits/chocolate to go with my tea 
xx
Hello again,
I'm pleased for you - that you managed to get things sorted out, and that you're feeling better now. Sometimes it can be the best answer - so refreshing.
Good news about the snow not-so-good about the annual leave, then again, it could be Mother Nature trying to tell you something - to give yourself a break!
Ohh that sounds like Heaven... according Biologists it's the sudden temperature drop after you get out of the bath which actually makes you tired - not the heat. (The heat makes you feel great though, I had a bath today and read my book in there - it was a great recovery from the difficult day I've had.) Tbh I think I'm ready for bed about now!
Oh dear I don't like that either, as it makes me feel on edge when there are not sweet things in the house. Occasionally though, I find a nice cup of tea can taste extra refreshing on it's own I've recently started having it with skimmed milk - I can understand it's not for everyone though and occasionally I still have it with biscuits of chocolate.
I think I'm going to take a deep breath and be honest here, and maybe it's just because it's dark and late and I didn't sleep well last night...but I've not been right for a while. And now the buzz have worn off from getting the offers I feel kinda...deflated. I'm sorry...I have this sense of feeling really not right. Different from the anxiety I had before. (Thank Goodness I've started counselling, just seems a little overdue)
Hope you're ok that things keep getting better for you xxxx
Hey you okay? You seem to have had a lot going on lately maybe just your body relaxing, unwinding. xx
I'll be ok, thanks. It probably is. I just need to give my body a chance to heal. What about you, how are things going ? xxxx
I think you might be right about having a break, it's been a while since I've been away and actually relaxed or even stayed at home and relaxed. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Quite what I'm not sure but I listen good and make people laugh as a general rule xx
Thanks for your support.
Well making people laugh is good. Laughter is the best medicine.
It sounds like the break might be just the right thing for you, don't be as hard on yourself. I can see you've been a great asset this site & a supportive friend to people on here. I do know from experience how nice it is to be able to help others. But we still need to focus on ourselves.
I best get to bed now as I think sleep will be a good medicine for me. Yeah I'll read my book for a bit then turn the light out, sounds good. I might see I can find the cat and he can sleep on the end of the bed for the night. I find that really helps - keeps the old oxytocin levels to a healthy level. xxxx
sleep well Fay xx
Hello again
just checking in really. Been very up and down but overall I think I'm making progress I had a very intense and difficult session with the counsellor yesterday so that I felt shaken and exhausted. BUT I do feel better today. Gosh, that sadness must have been in there, wanting to get out, for so long. Yep, it's definitely been building up.
So overall I believe I am making progress.
Little things are stressing me out at the moment - like when my laptop started being abnormally slow last night - causing me to blow it out of proportion and think it's going to break and I'm going to lose all my documents - well it's just a doubt I'm having.
I just can't lose my laptop because in a way it feels like my safety net. It connects me to everyone here and has all my writing there. Including A level work etc. I'll just give it another day or so and see what happens.
I suppose I've had it for over a year now so it's not brand new. I'd like to think of it lasting as long as possible though.
What have you been up to recently?
I've been given 2 more uni offers! So that's good!
How are you getting on?
Really hope you're well
Take care
Fay xxxx
(P.S. have an amazing Spring if I don't hear from you till then 
)
Hi Fay, nice to hear from you. I'm just sat here reading, don't go the site much as it feels different, there seems to be people upsetting people and a tension that has arrived, from where I din't know. Whatever it is I don't feel good about it. I'm more than happy to respond to anyone who leaves a message and always happy to hear from you.
I'm starting to get back into exercising again, I bought a crosstrainer/exercise bike as the weather hasn't been the best to get out on my bike and I did 10k the other day, didn't know I had it in me
I've got a session with a counsellor next week, will let you know how it goes. I'm happy for you that your's has been positive, I think being drained isn't such a bad thing, kind of like your body is letting go and relaxing.
Have you thought of maybe uploading your A level stuff onto a cloud or summat like Skydrive? or you could do it the old fashioned way and save it to a memory stick better safe than going crazy!!
Get you with your uni offers. Are they fallback places or ones you would seriously consider?
Until I hear from you xxx
Hi hollow,
I don't go on the site very often either, only to talk to a select few people. I've heard (read!) various complaints since joining the site and it makes me sad. I'm very weary of making posts (I think I've made about 2 - one blog and one quesion) as I worry about what people think.
I think I am still in denial that anything went wrong with my laptop, but guess I ought to back up my files, that's imperative. Maybe it is genuinely nothing as it doesn't seem to be too bad now, it just seem to get hot and slow earlier, sort of like being hot and bothered lol The old fashioned way of a memory stick is the only one I do know, xD Ironically. I've never been one for adapting to new technologies but if someone could just teach me, really slowly like a 2 year old I would be more than happy to. Thing is, my parents know nothing about computers etc and assume I do because I'm 18! Hardly fair, is it?
That's great! I'm so proud of you, hollow. I hope the weather gets better soon as I often go on long walks with my Dad and the dog but we haven;t been able to do that so much recently. I step out the door and get poured on by rain! 
Eventually I just give up. I'm really looking forward to the spring where I can get out more and start enjoying myself and the weather.
Thank you. Well, they're a bit of both, I made 5 choices and have 4 offers and one interview. The offers include my first choice - what I'm aiming towards. But there are two more I'm seriously considering if I don't it - apparently one of them was a top Uni that gave me lower grade bounderies than they usually would - so they must want me! Speaking of which I saw my cousin Sarah, today, who used to go to that Uni and has given me her number so I can call her if I have any questions about going. I need to visit places first, before I properly consider each one - I have been invited to visit all of them! I can't wait. I'm almost certain I have the option of going to Uni because I do back a back up offer - which have allowed for slightly lower grades just incase I don't get the ones I'm aiming for. All have given me lots of information about their Un and why I should pick them - the decision is near impossible! So wish me luck!
You do don't you my tabby is so soft is ridiculous and I love hugging him, unfortunately he's not so keen. Sometimes he does come to sit on my lap though - usually when I least expect it. It's just tickly when he's padding and digging his claws in. My black cat, on the other hand is really hyper and constantly demanding a fuss. The only times he does go to sleep is when he quite literally 'passes out' in any given area due to lots of excitement! He lies down in the strangest positions as we don't think he expects to stay there long. We do wonder if he's an ordinary cat. He's least cat-like I know - more like a dog! lol
xxxx
Unfortunately, having the cat at the end of my bed doesn't seem to have lasted. They are both too interested in food and hunting at this time of night.
It's a real shame, because I was getting inclined to the routine of having one of them there. Oh well. Bring on Spring - and more light evenings!
xx
Fickle creatures are cats but you gotta love em xxx
I apologise for all the typing errors in that.
Wrote pretty quickly. ^
I saw my cousin in town by complete coincidence.
xx
I've been emailing the same person in a short time space and when I do so start typing like them, which might be why my writing is a little different, hope it's ok xx
no need to apologise or explain! I'm determined to get out and walk more this year! Come the spring I want to go up Snowdon, it's a bit of a spiritual place for me as when I had a bout of depression I walked up it's hardest path, it was killing me and I just wanted to lie down and let the elements take me but clearly I didn't and I didn't give up. Reaching the top and returning was a definite turning point in my head and I literally walked out of my depression.
Sounds like you are about to enter into quite an exciting time of your life with uni especially if they are courting you xx
That sounds amazing. It actually seems like the perfect anti dote for me and the way to beat depression! Just so simple and refreshing.
Especially as there are times when I feel like I'm walking in a cloud of fog.That is a truely inspirational story and I hope you enjoy going again this spring.
That's what I was thinking I am VERY apprehensive and know it's important to be in the right frame of mind when I go, so I hope I'm feeling must better by the summer - as I'm still not perfect.
They do seem very interested in me - which is lovely. I didn't think I would be lucky enough to get this opportunity, enough people have doubted me in the past, not all, but a few who have even enjoyed being proved wrong. It's actually very over whelming too because I have all this decisions to make. I think, though, in a ideal world, where I got the grades, I know which one I would go to. It all just depends.
I best get to bed now,
But I'll keep you updated on what happens with the Unis and the counselling. xxxx
Keep bringing good things into your life and sleep well.
til the Spring..... g'nite xxx
Thank you.
just been psyhing myself to move from my spot (Sheldon to Penny -'you're in my spot') and get ready for bed.
I'd say g'nite but it's actually morning now (early hours of). Mornin'.
till Sunrise.. good..sleepy time xxxx
Urrgh bright light. Hissssss
Have a good day you
pxxx
Sooo bright!
Thanks. Same to yoursssssself.
...
Good evening. I've just been to my Gran's for my Aunt's birthday - and saw my new cousins (my other auntie adopted two kids)
Hope you've had a nice day. xxxx
Hey good errrr what time is it.... good evening! I'm just about to watch The Hotel for my end of week dose of hysterics.
Went for a walk today, nothing major, through the woods but better than nothing then did 5k 'running' on crosstrainer it's gotta add up to summat surely!
Haven't been to a party for years!
Enjoy your evening if I don't hear from you
pxxx
Good... afternoon sorry for the late reply.
I love The Hotel - just so awesome. We actually thought, when we first watched it, that it was some kind of spoof or parody!
It sounds like you had a good day - of course it will add up Everything adds up. Happy New Year by the way, it's time for me to start my resolutions again! Proving to be a challenge already!
It wasn't exactly a party more of a gathering the last one I went too was a few months ago, a wedding as the Best Man's daughter. I danced the night away. I can't exactly dance. But I think what's important is the state of mind. Everything has the right to feel as ease with dancing - whether there moves are reminiscent of a turkey doing the conga or not. I felt like a star!
I hope you manage to have a good day today. I'm meeting my friends for dinner which should be nice - even if it IS in this weather!
F xxxx
everyone* has the right to feel as ease
Still enjoying our chilled out approach to talking. Keeo this up and we could break the world record for the longest thread. xx
Hey Fay! Nice to hear from you. Read your blog earlier. Still keeping them brief I see
Hotel fix tonight!! Wonder what cringeworthy delights it has for us tonight.... I'd love to stay just to experience the horror
Have we not said HNY? That's not good. Happy Chinese New Year instead.
I wonder what the longest thread is..... I have a 90+ one from earlier in the year.
Til next time casual caller xx
Hi
Sorry, fashionably late again: (Rushes in things falling out of bag, hair in a all over the place saying 'sorry!', 'sorry!', 'sorry!' Penny...Says cheerfully: I've just picked up a McFlurry for 99 - stops in tracks. No, no, I haven't and even if I did that would be terrible excuse. You CAN argue with that.) Anyway I've just seen this! Was just about to say hi.
Hope you enjoyed it! Any cringeworthy delights/horrors in this episode?
Oh cool! Did you like it? I thought it outlined the issues in our society pretty well. I know 99% of the readers know what I'm talking about even if they don't admit it. Well what can I say, brief is my middle name. Otherwise it would be the size of 3 books. Still, I think the picture sums it up pretty well.
Oh No! Well A Very Happy New Year to you. Here's hoping 2013 and the Year of The Snake bring us great joy. I feel better today, but I need to get out of this sleep routine - gah!
Wow. I'm jealous! Well you know what? We are going to beat that number. Hopefully we can string this out for a year, maybe two. And this blog will be the longest thread in the history of Anxiety UK. What do you say?
Speak soon xx
think we should go for a world record n smash my previous. Your enthusiasm always makes me smile..... see that's me smiling!
I'm afraid it's just a quick one as I'm off to bed. Not been sleeping too well of late and it's caught up with me. Will call by tomorrow and look forward to your next monthly bulletin
Sleep well xx
Yay glad I cheered you up. Your encouragement motivates me to carry on being cheerful. Sometimes I can be a bit of a misery and it's not good - getting myself worked up over all the little things. There's this guy in our common room who never smiles - he prides himself on it. But I have been chatting to him, joking around and yeah - I see a reluctant tug every now and then - so it must be working.
I hope you slept well last night. xx
Hey Fay! Felt so good to have a nights sleep thanks.
Spreading your joy eh, careful he doesn't crack if you make him smile too much. Disastrous! It was Fay, in the common room with her jokes officer.....!
Been off today. Was nice to sit, read and relax and drink tea and eat chocolate biscuits of course.
It's sooooo cold outside! Don't go out there you'll thank me for it!
Keep smiling n chuckling xx
Haha - now that would be a disaster! You can see he's reluctant, but I know there's a part of him which enjoys it, and that's nice. It's mainly jokes about his lack of smiling - somehow it's amusing.
Glad you have a nice day (oh don't say chocolate, I miss chocolate! I'm giving it up, just for a bit - I have a bit of a weakness for chocolate so if I can go a substansual amount of time without it I know I have beaten. I have thus far succeeded, but it's harder and I miss it )
Well we're on half term for bit so that's a nice break (excluding the inbetween hours of studying and catch up, oh well, don't have to get up at the crack of dawn tommorow which is something )
Don't worry I won't go outside. It's bitterly cold. (Apparently they're expecting snow again at some point? )
Will do, You made me smile today, so I thankyou for that.
Keep smiling yourself. Till next time... xx
Snow?!!! Who said anything about snow?!!!! <Imagine shocked little face with googly eyes here > I'd draw one if I knew how!!!!!
Sorry to hijack your thread but I just wanted to say 'Hi' to you both and to clarify the weather report ~ SNOW????? I nearly froze to death watching football today should I now be preparing to supervise sledging?! That's not on the plan!!!!!!
Glad you're doing ok, Faye. Remember to use half term to relax a bit, love as well as catch up with work.
Have you made friends with your new phone yet?
It's good to know your still around, Hollow. I've missed you even if I do hold you personally responsible for my ongoing battle with the flu!!!! I was perfectly healthy when I arrived at your New Years Eve party and I haven't been right since!!!!!
Seriously, hope all is well with you both.
Love,
Lizard.xxxx
Hi Lizard,
Well I haven't seen the weather report but our window cleaner said they would be when we were walking the dog the other day - so maybe he was mistaken or it was restricted to just one area. (By the way it's a colon and then a capital O to draw the face)
Not just yet o: I haven't been to town recently so I've not had the chance, the weather has been freezing. Hopefully when the weather gets better I'll be able to sort out a debit card too and get a more permenent fix. I promise I will though, my future life depends on it.
You know I think, so people who originally won't be alerted in their inbox if a person replys to someone else's comment - I have noticed this on a few occasions. I'll tell hollow you say hi just to be clear. You too know each other? Face to face? I hope the flu get's better soon, Lizard.
Thank you for your encouragement. I feel I am doing a bit better recently. But I have colds and things from Christmas still. I miss chocolate. Things seem to be going better for MC so I'm happy for her - hope she gets the meds she needs.
Lots of love,
Fay xx
Ok so maybe not snow?!!!! To be honest I wouldn't mind too much. Hate travelling in the snow but love playing in it!!!!
Sorry you've had all the cold and flu bugs too. It's been awful. A friend at work is calling it the 100 Day Flu but that sounds completely unmanagable so I'm not having that!!!!! Oh and no I don't know Hollow face to face. It was a virtual party he had on New Years Eve so I doubt if you can really pick up flu that way but I remain suspicious!!!!!!
I think you're being very brave giving up chocolate ~ good luck with that. I don't think I would survive!!!! I need my chocolate - especially in the cold, dark months!!!!
Take Care,
Love
Lizard.xxx
I don't know. I've only heard from my window cleaner. To be honest same here I just wish whenever it snowed everyone would just say 'yaaaay! snow!' let's all go and and play' and then all start acting like kids again rather than being miseries. It feels like it sometimes - this cold is - actually it's not too bad today touch wood (actually did, my bed)
Ohh I see! I didn't attend I'm afraid. I spent it with my cousins.
Thank you very much. It's not easy. But once I have the battled for long enough, it will be worth it.
Take care and I'll tell Hollow you said Hey.
Love,
Fay xxxx
Sorry lizard didn't realise you'd joined the thread. Hope you're feeling bug free!
Lizard says hi. ^ (See above) Hope you're ok. Good chatting last night. xx
Think I posted a comment instead of a reply! Doh xx
Hello there you! Don't we have rules for this much contact in one month! Joking, always happy to hear from you. Just don't make a habit of it grrrrrr!
Sorry didn't notice lizard had entered the arena. Chop it's tail off accusing me of flu bug spreading!
Have you seen anything of smile-a-while?
I agree with about the snow. I do love it and want to roll around the garden when it fallls but then you know who turns up and spoils the fun!
Wouldn't bother with goin out again this evening you'll just freeze like a frozen thing that has frozen on something that has froze because it is freezing xx
Okay dokey.
That's ok, I was just saying to Lizard it doesn't inform you anymore if someone has left a reply to another's comment - so I said I'd let you know just in case.
Not recently, last time I spoke to him was the last day before half term (that's why I've been on, so deffo won't be making a habit of it! don't worry soon you'll only have to put up with me in small doses!) anyway we had an interesting chat - albeit it was a little depressing - we were talking about paralell universes - he said it's a comforting thought to imagine himself more successful, some place far away, and I tried to reassure him to be happy in himself - he's an interesting person so say the least, he says there's a group of people he 'hates' (the majority - includes Year 12 Sixthformers - of whom he hates all of), a group of people he accepts, and a miniscule number of people he likes - apparently it's a privilege if he likes you. Well, he talks to me in a polite manner so I think I am at least in the 'accept' group. We also chatted about his holiday in America (mostly about how bad the confectionary was) but then he brought a doughnut so maybe my influence is working. Only chatted on to him on a few occasions so perhaps if I keep chatting to him then by the end of year I will manage to crack a smile - a FULL smile, and maybe a laugh. What do you think, hollow? You have faith in me?
I know! And it makes the whole idea of snow a depressing time the fact that you have to resume with everyday life but snow makes it MUCH harder! I'm hoping it will be bad enough that school closes, then I won't have to worry a.) about walking home in the cold b.) slipping when walking home c.)getting hit by a snowball, or worse, and iceball by one the younger students. I could just build a snow man instead. And call it Steve.
Haha ok. Love the description - like a riddle, got a lot of the word 'freeze' 
I will take your advice. Will happily enjoy evening in - next to my portable heater should it be needed (already used it twice today - have spent a lot of the day standing next to it). No hot chocolate and marshmallows for me though (actually marshmallows arn't against the rules but we don't have any in house and besides they are useless without a hot choccy to melt on! But. Ah well. xx
P.S. I'm forgetting my manners! How are you?
I am 'refreezing' to answer until a suitable amount of time has elapsed..... xx
Haha. You just did.
... Is 17 mins enough? It's, 1020 seconds. And probably more now. Cos I spent long enough trying to work it out! xx
tsk! I won't be drawn... xx
Ok. Hope you have a good Spring if we don't speak before the Summer. (Have good Easter! I'll be able to start having chocolate again!)... xx
see! MORE than 1020. Loads. Just absolutely loads. And try x-ing that to the number of miliseconds and fractions of miliseconds and so forth. That's loads. Thinking that number of a minus scale.
F-R-R-EEEEEEEEEEEEEZING!
P.P.S. I have to disagree with you there. I wouldn't exactly want to roll around the garden like it's falling as I would freeze like a frozon thing on something that has froze because it is freezing
And that 'frozon thing' would be on top of the freezing snow which has frozon because it's freezing outdoors!
I'm sorry I'll stop being annoying now. You don't have to answer.
Hey you never annoy me! Tho I am off to bed with a hot choc with gooey floaty marshmallows and grated dark chocolate on top. Yum. Did you say you've given up chocolate.... xx
Meany! Ah well. -_-
Will just have to settle for camomile tea. It's great ya know. Did you get my other messages. I got a bit carried away (sorry! though most it was about me multiplying number, the other was wishing you a good spring (depending on the time you wanted to elapse) And thanks for the reassurance.
Have a Summer if we don't speak til the autumn. ... xx
*good Summer
I did. Have they stopped teaching simple maths in school now
I like chamomile tea. I don't like rooibos tea..... jeez it's like warm dettol or at least what I imagine warm dettol to taste like as I've never tried it!
I shall speak to you before the next full moooon. Flutters away to perch upside down on a old roof beam xx
G'night, hollow xx
Gnite to you xx
I mean yours! lol 90 comments +
I think it has become our blog
Love full moon's! Get to stretch my wings..... xx
Haha yes. Indeed. It is very pretty. So how are you? xx
Not too bad thanks. Just keep plodding on as you do! Watching the programme about penguins on bbc1, really funny! How are you? Back to college/sixth form? xx
Sounds awesome. I love those kind of things. Yeah I'm back tommorow...
Really funny watching the chicks trying to skate on the ice or being caught out walking on thin ice
Hey we've done it! We have broken my previous.....! Clink! xx
Cheers I knew we would! Betcha we can make it 150 by say... hmm July?
Awww and the penguins sound totally adorable xx
Well maybe 125
150 and the jaffa cakes are on me! Off to my perch. Gnite and hope you have a fun filled day tomorrow xx
G'nite I will keep you posted on what happens with Smiley xx
Hey Fay, can't believe we've let this hang on 99 for so long! Happy 100th to us!! Hope you are well and making me people smile whether they want to or not. Is your laptop still functioning? I can't keep up with myself lately, I'm either feeling absolutely fine or absolutely awful arrrrrrgh!
Take your time replying wouldn't want to rush you, this month or next will be fine xx
Hi, Stranger! How's 16 hours for ya?
100! (*Does-a-little-dance*) My laptop doesn't seem too bad thankyou - I made the screen dimmer and that's helped too.
I'm afraid I'm feeling pretty awful though, to be honest. I have the same symptoms as my Dad, so it's likely I am experiencing a virus. This is alongside the cough I've been having since Christmas. Plus the cold weather. Plus exam AND workload stress. Oh yeah, nearly forgot the A word too. Since getting some (rather disapointing January results, I think my Dad finally got what I meant when I told him the situation I've been in for ages. Parents have been in denial basically) I have gone the doctor and there seeing what they can do for me - undoubtably my health is affecting my results. During the day (and night) I keep feeling sleepy (even as I write this my eyes are dry and I have a headache coming along), it's quite worrying because of the impact it's alreadty had but more importantly - it's stopping me from living normally, like other girls my age.
It seems my A levels hang in the balance, albeit am trying to be as positive as I can. When something good happens I'm buzzing for a bit - because I consider myself as positive (realistic-positive) person and try to hold on to/acknowledge the good things that happen. But my parents don't get that either - they want me to be on an equal level, as I go from an intense extreme of being down - to being up, like yourself. In my opinion it's better to be up and down than just down all the time. Life is a rollercoaster as they say.
I hope you're feeling good ALL of the time though soon, hollow. Looking back we both seemed cheery in the Summer - so hopefully when we get there again we shall both be feelin' fine. On a bright note I've been visiting the Unis and it's oh-so-exciting. They all seem like a friendly bunch and offer a range of opportunities. I have a full house of offers now and want to go. I have to.
But - I need the grades. Well, maybe I will still get the grades. I - alongside the sixthform supporting staff - am doing the best I can.
Take care and hope you have a good Sunday. Have a good Spring if I don't hear from you. xxxx
Hi Faye,
Sorry to hear you're still suffering with the virus. We can give it an award for persistance ~ it definitely knows how to hang around. Fingers crossed you must be almost through it by now. I really hope so. There's nothing worse than feeling grotty when the weather is so cold and grey.
Try not to put yourself under too much pressure with your A levels, love. You ARE doing the very best you can and no-one can expect anymore of you. I do appreciate what it is like.
I was very ill with depression and anxiety when I did my A levels and it was one of the worst times of my life. My dad didn't get it at all and put a lot of pressure on me when I needed it least. Of course, he was worried about me. It must have been difficult for him to watch his bright bubbly daughter falling into herself. Plus I know now he suffered from depression himself and must have recognised a lot of his problems in me and didn't want me to suffer like that.
Anyway I'm digressing - what I meant to say was I did scrape through my A levels and went to university. I got there and it was the best thing I've ever done. I was more well there than I had been for years and I made some wonderful friends. Hold that thought in mind. That is what you're working towards.It is so different to school, Faye, you'll love it.
It's snowing outside at the moment but the flower border is full of little blue irises so Spring must be on the way.
Love,
Lizard.xxx
I KNEW I'd missed something out! I'm sorry to hear about your Dad too and hope things got better for him. I often worry about mine - infact today is a day to worry because it's Mother's day and he doesn't have a Mum this year. I've only ever seen him cry once which is fine because I know men want to cry in private however I like to check up when was the time he cried because I think it's unhealthy if a person doesn't cry very often and he hasn't cried in ages - I just don't want him holding emotion in or feeling like he can't be honest about his emotions. I know that, deep down, he is a sensitive person. xx
Sadly my Dad died when I was nineteen so I never had the chance to have the conversation with him. One of my regrets is that I was not able to talk about his depression with him as an adult as I think we would have understood each other very well. Unfortuantely he'd been gone for ten years before I realised we had anything in common at all.xxx
Somehow I sensed this, and I am deeply sorry for your loss. It must have been extra hard at such a young age. I wish there was something I could say or do to help. I can empathise with your pain in losing two grandparents in a short space of time. It's not quite the same but I do have my regrets. Thanks for all your kind words.
P.S. Regarding MC, I understand the difficulties in communication when being in that place I think I'm just being critical of myself and worry whether I've said the right thing etc. I don't think she is getting the right help either. I hope it gets easier for her because I feel so powerless that there's nothing I can do to help, that's what I meant. I'll have a read and reply to your other comment now.
I know what you mean. I enjoy writing posts and replying to others but there are limitations and I often worry that the things I say are received in the way I intended. I think that's just the way we are - we over think everything!!!! I wish there was more I could do to help her too but all we can do is offer support and trust that the professionals around her are doing the right things to keep her safe.xxx
You have had a very difficult patch so of course your work will suffer. You have time to pull it back together though. I know it's hard but keep being honest with people and asking for the help you need. Be honest with yourself too. Know your limits and try not to exceed them. I appreciate how hard that is to do. I still really struggle with this. I'm forty and I still want to please people; to be able to do everything they ask. I've had a dreadful week at work in part because I push myself to do things that are verging on beyond me and because I too lie and make things better than they are. I've really struggled to deal with any kind of writing and paperwork since I had a breakdown studying for my MA. (Another lesson in knowing your limits. I had a great time doing my BA but I needed to stop and regroup before doing more study. I didn't and I fell in a heap.) However despite ten years in this job I have somehow managed to not meantion this fact to my boss and now when faced with a huge paperwork task I can't work out how I can tell her now so I've had to muddle through!!!!!
Try to break your day down into small manageable chunks. Begin with getting up - huge task in it's self and then plan what you'll do next. Focus on the task in hand. Try not to jump ahead.
Break everything down. Not "today I have to write an essay" instead "before lunch I will write one paragraph on ...".
It's hard to refocus your mind to this way of thinking but it's worth it as it really works. Keep seeing your counsellor too. It helps.
Keep posting too.
Love
Liz.
PS - I haven't heard from MC personally either although I try to always comment on her posts. I think she is in a very dark place right now and probably cannot manage proper communication. It's really hard and I wish I felt confident that she was being properly supported.
Thankyou for all the advice and kind words of warmth. I'm trying to put into practice all of these things. I see the doctor again Thurs and the counsellor Friday and I'm beggining to get to know myself and my body now. I'm sorry you're having a tough time at the moment too and hope it's gets easier for you. Remember to ask for help if you need it and please be honest. There's no shame in admitting to your boss about your mental health history etc. just so she knows. xxxx
Hey Hey Hey! (Penny..)
Not heard from you in a while. Hope haven't scared you off with talk of not being well. If it's any consolation I'm feeling A LOT better. Also, we are nearly at 110 with help of good friend Lizard - new milestone. I reckon we will get to 200. Easily. The guy seems to be smiling more, in fairness, he smiles a lot but he doesn't CALL it smiling. He calls it sneering or sometihng. I dunno if it's because I'm having an effect, but we did have a good chat last week, about our mutual dislike for a member of staff. It's nice to have someone valididate mine and my Mum's dislike. So I will keep you updated on that.
In terms of my health tests have come back clear to just one left - just have to wait and see but I don't think it will be anything drastic. Me and the counsellor had a review about my anxieties and I scored significantly lower than first time round - which is good. Progress.
I think one of the things that I have to remember is that I can't go 'back' to being the person I was before - I mean obvs I'm still me but not exactly the same and I can't expect myself to be the same but that's fine because we all change. And I just have to move forward into this new person and flourish. Keep moving forward.
I did myself proud the other day because managed to cook hot meal all myself (chicken nuggets haha) remembered to work the oven and everything. Parents nearly fainted when I told them - will not be one of those students who lives off burnt toast! All good.
I'm exaggerating/joking really. But it's good to do these things. Dad taught me how to operate the microwave the other day haha and soon he's going to teach me to work the grill.
I must go for my dinner: stew - am not quite up to levels of standard yet!
Speak soon, causal caller. xxxx
Faye, Faye, Faye.....
Sorry I've been distracted by events at work, we were looking at redundancies and having to re-interview for our own jobs but it looks like it is on hold for another twelve months at least!
Learn to cook! It is liberating, I've just made a (quorn) lamb bhuna ( it's a curry aye aye aye Sacre bleu!!!)
Sounds like smile a while is defrosting and warming to your vibrant positivity, well done, couple of months and he'll be a puddle of laughter on the floor in front of you!
Hello Lizard if you are reading, quick explanation of my disappearance, I can't do the forum anymore it seemed to be dragging me down, Faye is an exception as she talks so much rubbish it makes me smile (sorry did I say that out loud? Don't tell her I said that)
Hello Faye my friend, was just telling Lizard how great you are and how much I enjoy conversing with you
Good to hear things are seemingly heading in the right direction keep the momentum going and anxiety will fade into a distant memory......!
It's funny you saying you don't want to go back to being the person you was when that is all I want in life with a few modifications for the better which I honestly have to thank my anxiety for!
From bhuna to stew xx
Oh no hollow you said that aloud! And worse - I OVERHEARD YOU!
Talking about a vulnerable person with 'anxiety issues' will surely make one feel offended! No, not really. Only kidding. I shall tell Lizard you said hey avec my blog in which I say goodnight to everyone. To be honest I don't this forum a great deal eith... infact! I think there are times when if you spend too much time on these health forums, which of course are suppose to help others but I think too much can be detrimental to getting better. Since not being on tinternet so much I have noticed a definite improvement while still having the joy of talking to my friends sometimes. Truly liberating, non? I do read one person's blogs but only because I worry about her. Lizard will know who I'm talking about. Basically Lizard and me and both waiting - nay, looking forward to - her positive blog.
What I meant when I was talking about not going 'back' to being the 'same' - of course it would be NICE to be able to be the same person I used to be before the things that triggered my anxieties happened, to be able to grab 'old me' in a sense and pick it up for where I left off - last Spring? (With a few modifications in place) I'm sure you agree with me, hollow. But the point is, neither of us can do that hollow, and by wistfully willing ourselves to being able to go back to the person we once we before the time whatever it was reared it's ugly head, we are only keeping ourselves stuck in one place... aren't we? You probably know this but it's good to be reminded. You can't grab the innocence (or whatever abstract thing we had before the anxiety) out of the ether and get it back. Because once it's gone it's gone. But alas, try to over think what I'm saying because it IS still us. You may (not you personally, generally) think other parts have been lost but are only infact clouded by the anxiety in question, and it's still us, lots of the traits, characteristics and good qualities etc we still be there and we free to live our lives from then on forwards as ourselves, which all are attributes in tact, ready to be embraced again.
But we must keep doing that - moving forward. In order to acquire liberty. By not moving forward and trying to in a sense 'go back' (maybe going through good past memories and trying to make them more vivid - just as an example) you are only letting the thing that caused the anxiety in the first place win, surely? And I think I only realised this - really realised - recently, and think that's why I'm getting better. Sure I still have my bad days, days where I think.. WHY? Sometimes it's harder to control the thoughts or whatever, than others. But the good days are getting more frequent now and I can still see what life has to offer, and find happiness from it. (I only talk rubbish MOST of the time - not all the time ) Ok I'm annoying myself by going on now so I'll stop. Don't forget, it's not big deal that we're not 'exactly the same as before' - because people change all the time anyway. It's a part of life. Ok now I really am stopping - before I DO start talking rubbish. I hope, though, my friends, what I've said has made some sense, given you some insight, and helped you. I said the same thing to my friend the other day because I think she might be focusing too much on going back rather than going forward. I could go into a rant about how there are two sides to everything, about the facts of hindsight ecetera but it would take forever so I will save it for another day. Just want to say it does get easier, hollow - I'm sure of it.
Thankyou I hope so, I reckon he shall be. He is a personal challenge. Him and my cocky English teacher - re. Lizard (a few comments up) Did I tell you about the incident I had with when he saw how upset I was? He has a sensitive side! Cooking of course, is a challenge in itself, and I look forward to embracing all the cough cough - battles! - er. adventures. Thing is, the mother always says 'Get out of my kitchen' so I never learnt as a youngster. I will though, I will. Lamb bhuna sounds delish - hope you enjoy your meal. We had beef. And don't worry at all about replying late because we will undoubtably be stringing this out till next summer I hope! Clink with the champagne glasses, as we have made it till 110 I see. 111 now. Clink again, because 111 is 3 of the same number, somehow awesome!
I'm sorry about the stress at work and glad you've got it sorted for now. I'm sure it will be fine, hollow.
Till next time, Lamb.
From Beef xxxx
Hi Stranger
Just checking in cos it's been aaages! And I wanted to wish you a happy, lovely Easter.
I hope you didn't take all that stuff in my last comment too seriously? Was only me just waffling as usual.
Until next time...
Hellllllo yoo! Nice to hear from you. Hope u have a lovely easter break!
I enjoy your waffles and never take them seriously unless you're being serious and then I sit looking engrossed nodding furtively whilst thinking what can I have for tea......?
I've been up and down as usual. Went for a bit a walk down by the beach yesterday didn't get too far but it was more than I've done in a long time so it was an achievement even if I felt slightly robbed and annoyed with myself.
Until your next waffle.
Keep smiling xx
Hiiii
I went to the common with my Dad and the doggy.I was in a bit of a bad mood. I had a stinking cold which made it hard, keep stopping, just to breath
So I know the feeling there (as it's rarely like me) but still well done Hollow. You should be proud of yourself. Sometimes we all get these days where we don't feel on top form, and I honestly honestly do know how it feels when you feel that way once too often and it's like a crisis in identity and stuff (as you wonder 'what can I have for tea') - but I MEAN ! the weather's REALLY not been on our side. And that's what we're here for. We can't criticise ourselves so much, instead we must think 'ok, so maybe it's not our usual standards' (maybe I'll have lasagne, of spag bol..) but we should give us a pat on the back because we're doing our best, and we're doin' a ok.
Feel tons, tons, tons, tons, tons, TONS! (Penny.. 'Oh! what about thai?') Better soooooooon
I see my Gramps tomorra far Easter What are you having for tea?
Have you seen the voice? Great show.
Keeeeeep Smilin'! ;D
xxxx
Happy Easter!
One day eh!
Hope your day at your Gramps is a good one. Bring on the sun and warm lazy days....!
No I don't know what the voice is, enlighten me.
Til next time.
Have fun xx
The Voice - a talent competition in which singers autition with the judges' (sorry, 'coaches' Namely, Jessie J, will.i.am, Tom Jones, and Danny - lead singer of 'The Script') back turned to them. This way, they don't judge them on their appearance, but their voice alone. If they want to couch the singer, they press the button (which is the equivalent to saying 'yes'), and swings their chair round (only then they can see the singer). The contestant picks the coach if more than one person has turned. The quality of singing is great, it seems a lot better, than on other talent shows. It's on everyday Saturday - BBC One. It came about a year ago, this is only the second series, so it's pretty new. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but you have to give it a go.
One day indeed. It just sometimes.. no. I'm going to be positive. It's Easter after all. Thanks, I hope the sun comes out soon! Grandpa seems content.
Did you do anything nice Easter?
Hope you have a good few days. Find something nice to say everyday. (Mine was seeing my little cousin and helping him become more confident with the dog. - Now! Tell me yours.)
Oh yes I do know of that prog, no not my kind of thing.
Didn't do anything other than deliver Easter eggs and watch Madagascar It was such a nice sunny day and thought I would do the garden if it was the same today and guess what... it's cold and grey as a grey thing covered with a grey blanket!
My nice thing was not something I did but something that someone did for me. I lost my keys and it has a little tag with my mobile number on and someone found them and rang me so I could retrieve them! xx
Hi Hollow,
Happy Easter,
The walk on the beach sounds lovely. (So did the lamb bhuna - how is it made? I'm always looking for new quorn recipes.)
Definitely need to get out more, although the cold weather isn't much of a motivator. A friend and I visited a country house a couple of weeks ago. We had fun climbing up and down the rocky paths in the grounds but oh goodness, I am so unfit!!!! Climbing up hills .... I thought I might die!!! This is not good. I was forty in the new year (right when the nasty bug for which you are totally not responsible ~tail out of the way quickly~ struck). Before the depression came back I had in my mind that I would walk the length of Hadrian's Wall this year at this rate I'd be lucky to get to the end of the street!!!! For various reasons I'm unlikely to be striding out along the Wall anytime soon (there's bound to be snow at the moment anyway) but I would like to do something to mark the year. Yr account of climbing up Snowdon was inspirational although I think I can safely rule out climbing mountains as my chosen endevour!!!!
Definitely want to do something although I suspect raising my level of fitness and actually leaving the house to do more than go to work might be the way to go.
Sorry you're having stress at work too. No-one seems to have secure jobs at the moment. All these people that keep instigating cuts, reduced hrs, etc should have to work under the conditions they've created. Oddly they don't seem to have to?! I'm a bit wobbly at the moment and I think it is purely because I'm pushing myself so much at work trying to do the job of two people. Management did give me a extra member of staff to help but they've never done my job so I was having to do all the prep for them which kind of defeated the purpose. (Plus I'm a total control freak and no-one does anything the way I do!!!! Hard to help, huh!!!)
Totally understand why you no longer visit the message board. I have to take it in small doses or it can bring you down which is the complete opposite of what it was designed for. I miss your imput though. You give good advice and your dry sense of humour made me laugh ~ which is why you seem to have me on this thread. Hope you don't mind. Faye makes me laugh too so I find you two positive people to hang out with
Hope you're ok.
Sorry about the length of the post ~ didn't meant to compete with Faye!!!!
Love
Lizard.xx
Hi Lizard, thank you for your kind words, nice to hear from you, always welcome and will always respond to anyone who gets in touch.
I used to walk everywhere up and down hills/mountains no problem at all, now I struggle to walk down the road, not through fitness just intrusive thoughts making me feel like I'm gonna collapse or be ill etc. Like you getting to work and through the day seems the peak of my capability. Few years ago I walked the length of Hadrian's Wall, lovely part of the country, some great views, did it for fun, now I'm a trembling wreck, I tremble not walk!
I'm with you with the extra 'help' in work. They want us to have volunteers as well as continue with less staff to provide the same standard of delivery and somehow these volunteers need training, support etc...
Hope to hear from you again xx
Sorry lamb bhuna... fry onion, add garlic and ginger, ground cumin, corriander, fenugreek, fennel, chilli flakes, mustard powder or you could just use tablespoon of garam masala, tin of toms, add quorn lamb strips, veg stock and simmer on low heat for 20 mins. I always put half teaspoon of turmeric in the rice whilst cooking so I have nice yellow rice but turmeric is good for you as well xx
Just dropping in quickly and will contribute properly tomorrow. We're on 121 now once I've clicked 'post'. I reckon we're getting near to 150! We're almost half way there! Looking forward to then and remember to take it one step at a time.
Lizard! Sorry I reply to you properly soon.
Fay xxxx
Was just strolling by and thought I'd say hello. Don't forget 150 and the jaffa cakes are on me...! xx
Hi Hollow and Fay,
I totally understand what you mean about being trapped in by intrusive thoughts, Hollow. I get that a lot and it is so hard to push past it when your mind is insisting you're at risk of sudden death. I do have health anxiety but there really is no limit to the things my mind perceives as dangerous. I've been known to press myself up against walls because I am so certain a car is driving off the rd at me!!! A bit embarrasing to have to explain to passers by ~ actually it's happened so often now I just smile sweetly at their shocked look and walk on but you know ...!!! Unless you've been there it is so hard to explain to people how a thought can be so vivid and affect you so profoundly.
My positive thing ~ I finally made it to my birthday treat!!!!
My birthday was way back at the turn of the year and as it was a significant one I wanted to do something to mark it. A friend and I decided a trip to the theatre to see a show was the way to go. Then life and anxiety got in the way!!!
Fast forward to April and we tried again.
Getting on the train (after the logistics of actually going away for a couple of days had been accomplished ~ a military manover in it's self) was so hard. I find traveling so difficult. My mind predicts disaster at every turn and also believes that terrible things will happen because I've left town. It is so difficult to ignore it!!!
But I did and it was so worth it.
The show (Lion King) was amazing. I was entraced (no time to feel anxious). The sheer colour and spectacle of it - the costumes and the puppetry were amazing. And we had such good seats, really close to the stage.
I absolutely loved it and I'm so glad that I pushed myself and got there. I'm glad to be home now though!!!!
Hope you're ok.
Love
Lizard.xx
Hello to you both and firstly well done Lizard glad you enjoyed the show some friends went to see it and said the same good things. Nothing like a bit of crazy behaviour to make us feel on top form eh
I've been driving to work of late as the train journey in the mornings has been a nightmare but now I'm worried that I've done myself a disservice as although the journey was fraught with anxiety I did it and did it every day. I wonder how I'd cope if I had to do it tomorrow.
I've been the hospital today as I've been having some gastro problems... no prizes for guessing the consultant thinks it is anxiety related although wants to do more tests to rule out any other possible causes.
Either of you taken citalopram? I've always been anti medication and have been determined to get through this without but it's now two years with no real success with cbt or counselling.
Where is the warm weather....... xx
Hey Guys.
I reckon the cold weather doesn't help tbh - after all, we are deprived of serotonin and vitamin D! No wonder our anxieties have been worse. I'm finding this weather really hard to deal with although my Grandpa has been a saint and took me shopping the other day for warm clothes. He's been fantastic.
Lizard, I'm glad you had such a lovely birthday - we went to see Lion King when I was kid and I have to say - it was amazing. I hope your thoughts are getting better too. Sometimes they do become automatic and it's isn't easy controlling them, but you describe them well, and at least getting some kind of understanding about them is the first step. And that you realise they can't harm you.
I hope you're feeling better soon, Hollow. Good luck with all the tests, I'm sure it will be fine just try not to over think it. Take each step as it comes. You shouldn't feel bad about driving to work either, there's no point in putting yourself under more pressure by persevering with something that's not getting any easier and still making you more anxious. Better just to adapt.
I haven't but I'm not sure about Lizard. I suppose, Hollow, you could maybe go on a lower dose of anti anxiety medication, just to see how it goes, and if you feel you're reading try without - while still staying in touch with your GP? It might be worth considering the type of counsellor you have too, as I'm having counselling but there are definitely times when I don't feel it helps - just like I'm going round in circles all the time and come out feeling worse. You could maybe take a break from counselling, just as an experiment say, to see if you feel better?
I'm very much baring 150 in mind! We should get there soon, especially with Lizard's help! Then we'll see to reach our 200 goal.
I've been chatting with Muffinchops, Lizard and she seems ok. Ok as she can be. I'm waiting to hear back from her in a next message.
xxxx
P.S. The pic of the mouse is courtesy of Muffinchops, I want to cheer her up. xxxx
Hi Hollow,
Still no sign of the warm weather ~ I know I'm in the far North but it's been like the Arctic these last few days. Next week is the start of the Summer Term and we still have subzero temperatures??!!
I've now bought all the ingredients needed to make the lamb bhuna. I just need a sudden desire to cook. I have to wait for this mood to overtake me ~ it doesn't happen very often!!!
I'm sorry I haven't taken Citalopram either. I'm like you, struggling on in the absolute belief I can do this without!!! I just cannot reconcile myself with the idea + I'm awful at remembering to take meds so I think I'd just be rocketing around all over the place and my mind can do that free of charge!!! I did take betablockers years ago while I was still at school (before I worried about what I was taking) and they helped to minimise the physical symptoms of panic.
I have had counselling. I had nearly three years worth, for the first 18mths I saw her every week. I found some of the CBT techniques useful but the problem is I lied. By ommission mainly but it was still a lie. In three years I managed to avoid mentioning either that I was cutting myself or the terrifying thoughts and fears that are with me all the time. Yes, my second episode was different to either my first one or this one ~ I was more depressed and suffering badly from health anxiety but the thoughts were there and in three years I failed to meantion them?!! As a result I didn't let myself get the treatment I really needed.
None of which is helping with your medication dilemma ... I think if you have explored all the other options open to you it might be worth a try. It's so hard to know which way to jump sometimes.
Oh and for the record I think driving is the most stressful form of transport known to man so no I don't think you're taking the easy option each morning!!!! I never even got as far as taking a test and may have been singlehandedly responsible for giving my instructor an Anxiety Disorder. I thought it was best to stop ~ the poor man seemed so agitated and kept trying to fend off trees through the passanger window ~ frankly he was making me nervous!!!!!
I hope you're ok.
Love
Lizard.xxx
Hi Lizard. Hi Fay if you're out there. Are you not getting this nice weather? Not only has it been sunny but warm too, I was walking about in shirt sleeves earlier today.
I've been having days where I have to scrape myself off the floor mixed with days when I feel almost 'normal' I use that term loosely as I don't think I've ever been normal
Talking of driving I pushed myself to drive 60 miles up the motorway on Sunday due to a bit of a family emergency. Haven't drove on a motorway for about 3 years didn't believe I had it in me again.
Would you not consider counselling again? Without the ommissions? Again I've tried cbt, counselling but doesn't seem to do anything. I know my own thoughts. Know the techniques but none of it changes the fact that out of the blue without warning or apparent trigger I feel suddenly very ill.
I'm taking ownership of a autistic siamese cat on Fri that should be fun maybe his antics will make me forget my anxiety
xx
Up until today it has been sunny but it's sooo cold. Where were you when you found warmth and sunlight?? Do you have your own microclimate and if so please may I borrow it??
Yes, I would have counselling again. I did actually go to my GP in October last year and asked to be refered back as I felt so ill. Since I haven't heard squeak since I imagine he didn't make the referal. Yes I know I should go back but since I feel better ...
I understand what you mean about knowing your own illness though. I'm finding that more and more too. I am getting better at dealing with the physical manifestations of the anxiety. It's the thoughts that leap out from nowhere and side swipe me that I still find so hard. Plus when I am unwell my mind is racing along at such a speed my body just wants to lie down on the floor in self defence!!!!
I think you did very well driving down the motorway ~ I find that hard as a passenger!!!!
I'm really looking forward to hearing more about the cat.xxx
Oh yes lying down on the floor! How many times have I longed to do that... if we weren't a nation of you can't do that's I probably would have spent the past two years on the floor.
I work in Manchester (not from Manchester I hasten to add) and it was tropical! Perhaps North Korea attacked us with something and no one noticed...! There was a lot a of static in the air I noticed. Hmmmm....
I'll post a pic of him if I can when he is settled in. Looking forward to bringing him home he is not your typical looking cat xx
Now I know you have your own microclimate ... I was in Manchester last week and it was even colder there than up here!!!
Yes that's normal for Manchester even on a good day but I swear today was out of the ordinary. Had the windows open and the fans on.....
Sleep well Lizard. I have an appointment with my pillow xx
Good night.xxx
Hiya Guys.
It's been a while hasn't it..I've missed you both. I'm sorry you've both with struggling alongside your anxieties recently. It's perfectly normal to have intrusive thoughts albeit I know they're not nice.
I'm going on 'strike' until this weather improves. I just hate it. It makes me feel ill.
Driving - well what can I say. I've had a couple of lessons but not recently. The ones I've had have been a little nerve racking. But my instructor is good she keeps me really calm, if I make a mistake she just laughs (with me, not at me, she hastens to add) and when I'm doing well I get really into it. I don't know if I could quite hack the motorway yet though, and then there's the issue of getting lost - hmmm. Lizard I'm sure the whole issue with your driving instructor wasn't as bad as you think (for one thing, they are trained professionals, they're not allowed to be anxious).
As for lying on the floor - I prefer my bed thankyou. Nice pillow and book.
Hollow, please tell us more about the cat. I already like him and I know nothing about him. He sounds like such a character.I love cats anyway.
My black cat has something like adhd the way he carries on. My tabby thinks he's the King.
Hope we can chat soon. 135 here we are.
xxxx
Hellllp! I've had 24 hrs none stop wahhhh-ing! Not sure I can cope..... he's lovely but my nerves are shattered xx
Oh no! Have you tried scratching behind the ears? Trust me, cats love that. xx
I've tried everything! xx
Oh... It sounds like a nightmare.
Catnip?
That thing they advertise on the telly that's sposed to calm cats down?
Hmm..
If it keeps showing signs of distress, maybe take it to the vets just to see if there is nothing wrong?
He's settled a bit now. The idea behind getting a cat was to help make me relax xx
I'm really sorry he's been giving you a hard time. Maybe he's just getting used to his new surroundings?
I hope it gets better for you.
Couple'a weeks down the line, you'll be the best of companions I'm sure of it. xx
That's what I'm hoping. He's got the most awful cry you'll hear coming out of any animal. Wouldn't be so bad if it was gentle meow but it's more of a mewah several decibels above your average hyena! xx
Gosh that's quite loud. I hope he's ok. I hope you're ok too of course but that's a given. Did you realise what you were getting yourself into when you first got him? Or is his crying a new thing? xx
I knew he was a bit clumsy etc and I expected a bit of crying but I wasn't expecting it to be incessant or so grating on the ear! It's just the level, pitch! Its far from fluffy cat curled up on the sofa purring away xx
He's a Siamese, Hollow, I'm afraid that's the noise they make!!! They are the loudest cats in creation but also beautiful and affectionate so it balances out. It will be better once you get used to each other.xxx
I'm hoping it's just coz of the change. Let's hope I don't crack before we get to become the best of friends He's not been so bad tonight only crying if I move xx
Unless he seems distressed I think it's likely that he's just "talking" to you. They're a v vocal breed. So are Pekingese dogs, just in case you're thinking of getting one of them too!!! Not highly compatable with cats so I wouldn't recommend it. I'd get one tomorrow though if I was in the house more.
No thanks. I'll stick with the cat! I'm guessing he's just a bit lost and scared. He was living with other members of his clan so he could be calling out to them. We'll be fine once he settles xx
Oh yes, he will be - I hadn't realised he was used to living with other cats. It will take him a while to adjust. He'll get there though.xxx
18 of them at one point apparently..... xx
Yeah he just needs to build up an attachment to you I'm sure. Would'ya looka that?
We did it. We made it to 150 looks like we're all set on for 200. xx
150 and not one falling out!! Well done to us eh. I owe us some jaffa cakes or summat don't I...? Seriously tho thanks to you both it's nice to know you're out there xx
WOW ... I didn't realise we'd passed the 150 mark last night ... I was a bit spaced out though having had neuralgia all day, that's my excuse!!!! It's eased off a bit today thankfully but it isn't far away. One of my more fun anxiety symptoms
How is Cat this afternoon? If he's been used to living in such a large cat colony it might take him quite a while to adjust to being by himself now. 18 cats??? Were they all Siamese??? He will settle though ~ it won't take him too long to realise he no longer has to compete for his food, his space or his human and then he'll be a very happy kitty indeed!!!
And yes, it really helps me too to know that you two are out there.xxx
Aye 150+ gotta be some kind of record. Sorry to hear you're suffering Lizard. Hope it clears soon.
He's been a bit quieter today just dare not move as it kicks him off again. It's not necessarily him crying it's just the level.... he's been acting like a cat today and chased a cardboard roll around for ten mins. Pouncing on it like it was alive. Thank you for your words of support. Hope he doesn't cry too much through the day when I'm in work as my neighbour works from home!! xx
Eeek ... I hadn't thought of that!!! He's a cat so hopefully when you're out he will just curl up and sleep. If not I'm sure your neighbour will be round to tell you he's been awake!!!!
Don't stress about it though as I think he will just sleep until you come in. Playing is a very good sign that he's settling.xxx
The jaffa cakes are on me. Thanks, It really helps to have you guys here as well.
It's funny you should say that Lizard because I am getting the same thing now, sometimes it just comes on when I don't expect it and it's no fun at all.
Hollow I agree with Lizard it does sound like he's settling in. Mine thought it would be a good idea to settle on my bed earlier (he still hasn't got the message that it's actually mine - since he 'helped' set it up when we first got it).
Hope you're both ok. xxxx
Feeling a bit down (I read some depressing blogs, not intentionally), tell me a rubbish joke to lift my spirits?
Fay xxxx
P.S. How is the cat now?
What dyou call a fish with no eyes? xx
I don't know. 'An eyeless fish?' lol xx
Fsh.....
What dyou call a deer with no eyes? xx
Haha, I knew that.
A deer? No idea.
I heard a joke once about a fish bumping into something and saying 'oh damn' but I can't remember the beginning. There are a few fishy jokes actually. Any ideas? xxxx
What about a deer with no eyes or legs? xx
I think you mean fish swimming along hits a brick wall and says dam! xx
YES! THAT'S IT! THANKS HOLLOW.
I've no clue hollow (apart from a very unfortunate one!) what do you call a deer with no legs/eyes? xxxx
Still no idea xx
Hahahaha that's a good one. That's brilliant! Would NEVER have thought of that.
(Also do you know the one about the fish tank? I used it a long time ago in a play and it's frustrating me that I can't remember what it is.
Oh it might be something like - 'what to fish drive?' 'tanks' - it's something to do with driving anyway...)
My turn; what did the 0 say to the 8? xxxx
I know this one but can't think of it..... xx
'Nice belt'
And why does 6 hate 7?
Haha I didn't know that actually...
Errm coz 7 ate 9 xx
Haha yeah. The 7 is a hungry beast - haha.
..Ok here's one, hollow. How do you get 4 elephants in a mini?
Go on..... xx
2 in the front and 2 in the back.
But how do you know if one's been in your fridge? Hmm.. now that's the tricky one..
xxxx
Hmmm dunno how do u know if one's been in your fridge? xx
Because there's one set of elephant foot prints in the butter. The same applies for 2 or 3 elephants.
However, the butter is usually too small to hold 4 elephant foot prints.
So I ask you this? How do you know if there have been 4 elephants in your refrigerator? xxxx
Nope you got me again xx
Because there's MINI parked outside your driveway! Fancy that eh? xxxx
mini parked outside your house* (driveway makes no sense) not with it today. Nearly 180 comments. It won't be long before we celebrate with glasses of wine and orange jaffacakes again xxxx
Doh!! Haha very good. I like xx
Haha thankyou. I will be happy to tell more jokes tomorrow say. But am worn out at the moment. I think it's time I hit the hay. So I just want to wish you goodnight. It's been good chatting, thanks for cheering me up. xxxx
Just the tonic I needed ... I made the mistake of reading the depressing blogs too ... I needed the laugh ...
Silly joke ...
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Glad we cheered up Lizard.
Ooh Dinosaurs (my Dad is called Rex so I sometimes pre-empt my offering of a 'hot beverage' for him with 'Cuppa TRex?')
I am about to get to bed now. So I'll leave this one to hollow. xxxx
Do-you-think-he-saw-us!!!
Just in case you wake up in the night wondering!!! I'll tell you what they call his dog tomorrow!!!!
Goodnight.xxx
Good night Lizard sorry you're just arriving as we're leaving! Keep away from depressing blogs they bring you down! xx
Hi Lizard what do you call his dog? xxxx
Doyouthinkisaurus Rex!!!!
You did ask for silly jokes!!!!
Hope you've had a good day.xxxx
HAHA Brilliant like my Dad!
And what exercise do dinosaurs hate the most? xxxx
I don't know .... what exercise do they hate most?
PRESS UPS! Consider the size of the TRex's head. (Google it images and you'll see what I mean ) xx
More the size of his arms when I come to think about it!!!!
My kids favourite joke at the mo:
What's the difference between a teacher and a book?
Haha actually that makes sense. Hmmm, I'm not sure what's the difference? xx
You can shut a book up!!!
Do you think they're trying to tell me something??!!
Haha I like it
Are you a teacher? xxxx
No, I'm a youth worker but I do support in school sometimes too.xx
It sounds like a really interesting job. I was thinking of doing something after similar after Uni. xxxx
It's time I got to bed now but might speak to you later. I wish you goodnight.
Just want to say hi to hollow if you're reading.
Look forward to catching up with you both again.
There are plenty more jokes where they came from! xxxx
Me too but a guess of no eye a saurus? xx
Hi you guys. I hope you're having a good weekend. xx
Hello to you both if you're out there! I went into town yesterday and by town I mean city centre, lots of noise, shops and people, first time in a long time, didn't feel great, hands were sweating, felt dizzy, nauseous, wobbly legged but I did it. Only stayed a couple of hours but it's the most, outside of work, that I've been out. Even got on the bus. Perversely driving has made me more reclusive!! So despite feeling like cr@p for most of it I'm putting it down as a positive thing this weekend!
Hope you are both having a good weekend... xx
Wow! One more and we've hit 200...... xx
Hey hollow, I've brought some jaffa cakes and champagne (tis a special occasion after all).
for us to make a party out of it. (Let's see if we can make it to 250, 300! )
Speaking of which I was lucky enough to get a ticket (my aunt dropped out) to see a certain Abigail's Party, at the theatre yesterday. Fantastic.
Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I've been busy working. I have created a peice of art work on the computer and am in 2 minds as to whether to show anyone outside my family.
I think it's something to do with me worrying about criticism maybe?
Why did the biscuit cry??
hey you shouldn't worry about criticism it's what you think and feel about it that's important. criticism is just another point of view always best met with kindness and understanding as it p#sses the critic off and makes their comments shallow and lacking in substance. hence they walk away feeling mugged and you walk away with your confidence intact and a smile on your face that says kiss my @rse!
why did the biscuit cry..... i dunno why did the biscuit cry? xx
Thankyou hollow. it's just you know when you're so proud of something you've done and you don't want other people bursting your bubble?
But you're right. In fact someone criticised an early piece of work and I'm still proud of that (I just considered said person ungrateful). (We're no longer in touch) (not cos of the picture, because he wanted me to be his gf and I wanted to be friend).
WDTBC? It's mother was a WAFER too long! xxxx
Oh dear, cough cough xx
what do you call a sick jumper?? xx
Also, that's not the only reason the biscuit cried.. His mother was wa fer too long... and his dad just fell to peices! xxxx
Sorry hollow, I didn't get a proper read of your comment.
No matter how you felt when doing it you were able to and that's definitely a positive, you're right. This means next time you do so, it shall get a tiny bit easier. And then a tiny bit easier again hopefully.
I can make a loose connection to cars as well in terms of last night. So we were having a great day, right until in the way back when we heard this 'banging noise' in my Mum's car and then, then, there was a smell. A horrible smell of burning. Disgusting. Made me feel sick. Mum having to stop car in middle of road, dark, dark night. Freezing cold. Me and Mum walking away from car while she leaves it abandoned in the road with flashing lights on, back to the way we came (luckily we hadn't driven THAT far). Tiny bit of charge on my phone left, (little enough for it to beep and give me low battery warning). Sick feeling of relief that it can still operates. Walk back to car whilst phones rings (me stupidly asking, 'can cars explode?' (they can't) ). Uncle drives over and looks at car. Doesn't know what's the matter. Drive car to nearby pub (it's barely drivable) and then go back to aunt and uncle's where they have a spare charger for my phone (thank goodness) and we contact the road recovery people and you get the picture. We got home about half 12 eventually. Guess what they thought it was?! A flat tire! But my uncle is sure he would have realised that so we later find out it's because of a broken spring thing within the tire. So yeah.
xxxx
Anyway apart from the question about the car exploding I think I was pretty brave if you ask me.
Wow drama on the way home from the theatre! That must have been scary though. So yes I think you and your mum get this weekends bravery in the face of adversity award! Well done. And your acceptance speech is....
I'd like to thank my mum of course, my teachers who taught me, my mobile phone operator, my cat who would have rang the AA had he known, the rescue guy, my uncle, the guy who drives the number 42 bus, Rachel from friends who I think is sooo inspirational, the inventor of the wheel, God, God's mother, the people who make dominos pizza, the dalai lama and lastly the person who came up with the tesco clubcard rewards system.... xx
..my other cat, my auntie and uncle's cats, the dog - who would have provided her calm demure if I had been there - hollow, Lizard..
and whoever invented Ben and Jerry's ice cream, I suppose.
Oh and my Mum again because she brought me some the other day. xxxx
Seriously though you do make me smile hollow. Isn't it good to be able to turn something initially unpleasant into a funny story? What else was I going to say..?
YES I remember!
Hollow, I think it's time for a celebratory sing. The Friends theme song. C'mon!
*Instrumental*
Vocals 'So no one told ya life was guna be this way..' Sing it with me hollow ..
life's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.....!
'It's like you're always stuck in the 2nd gear......'
when it hasn't been your week your month or even your yeeear. I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to fall.....
'I'll be there for yoooooooou... like I've been there before. I'll be there for yoooou..'
Wow ~ we've passed the 200 mark Fantastic. I'll even have one of the jaffa cakes to celebrate even though I don't usually like them!!!
Well done on your trip into the city centre, Hollow ~ don't worry about not staying too long. Going in the first place is a huge achievement. I would find that really hard. I'm fine locally but really struggle in a busy city. My mind goes into overdrive: looking for dangers everywhere which is most wearing. I understand about the car too. I don't drive but whenever I dream about having my own car it's because I want to escape from places quickly or to go to and fro without having to deal with people. So yes, I can see it would encourage me to be more anti-social too.
Definitely a positive thing ~ the city trip not the car!!!!!!
How are things with you Fay? It would be lovely to see your art work but I understand your reservations. It's ages since I did any art. Despite feeling less anxious at the moment I have the energy level and motivation of a sea slug. Could really do with that wearing off now (and the headaches) although I think both are caused by the depression.
Hope you're both doing ok.xxx
Hi Lizard, I'm not too bad thankyou.
I've just finished telling hollow a joke.
Why did the biscuit cry?
Because it's mother was a WAFER too long! ..And it's dad just feel to pieces!
Although in my opinion it's not as funny as the anecdote about the 2 biscuits in the oven where one of them starts complaining about the heat and the other reacts by saying 'Oh my gosh! It's a talking biscuit! ' But yeah.
Seriously though. I'm much better thankyou. I'm not 100 but getting there. I understand what you mean about the energy though Lizard, I'm a bit like that myself actually. (My psychology teacher would say it's a deficiency the hormone noradrenaline) Anyway, this has been the first time in a while I have done art. It's graphically design (or more accurately, little cartoons I draw on paint). Thus far, I have done 2. I just needed to create something, ya know? And it's made me feel a lot better, I could almost hesitate to say that since doing the first one it's been a turning point for me?
On another bright note, it looks like I am going to get a good mark for my coursework so that should stand me in good stead for my English. You probably remember me saying I was a little worried about school, because of everything that happened before Christmas. It's not perfect but things are looking a little bit better. And of course, it's lovely to be able to see people again. Little can take that away from me.
Did you have a nice weekend, Lizard? xxxx
Hi Fay,
Congratulations on your coursework. I'm glad it's done and looking good. Is it for English Lit? If so what books have you been studying? I did Literature for A Level.
Well done for dealing so well with the scary car incident too. I would have been terrified.
Love the biscuit jokes too ~ the talking biscuit one made me giggle.
I've had a strange weekend. As I said I'm still very tired and demotivated which has gone on now for nearly two years. Surely it should be going now?? What does the noradrenalin do? Is there anything I can do to redress an imbalance? But my anxiety does seem better.
As I've posted on the main board I am now having real feelings that I haven't aneathatised (not spelled like that) with bulimia or SI. It's very strange as I hadn't actually realised how little I'm used to feeling. It would scare me if I thought about it but I'm consciously trying to stay in the moment and not give that a lot of thought.
It's things like this I'd like to discuss with a counsellor but for some reason you can never find one when you want one. The NHS waiting list up here is prohibitive and I don't want CBT. I would go privately but still no counsellors within a fifty mile radius.
Oh well ... we keep plodding on ... little by little we're getting there.xx
Thankyou.
And I'm glad I could make you giggle. The CW still needs to be moderated but hopefully it will be much the same, my teacher wouldn't have told me if she was beyond reasonable doubt. Furthermore, she's got the 'gushing' sort, she gives credit where it's truly due and doesn't overly praise her students (which is a good thing) and tries to treat them as equally and fairly as possible. All things I respect her for. I'm afraid though it's Language that I'm studying. Lit sounds interesting but I worried I'd find it hard. Did you find it difficult?
I'm sorry you're having funny feelings at the moment. I hope you get a counsellor soon. I really don't think people have enough access to mental health facilities, it took me ages to get any treatment and I still have a trust issue with my counsellor (not that he knows). The trouble is, his body language (and I'm confident on BL), is indicative that he doesn't believe what I'm saying. Lots of critical evaluation gestures and scepticism. Not exactly appealing when I want my emotions validated but instead feel self conscious and walk out there feeling really peeved. But never mind.
Hmm..what I can just suggest, noradrenaline is the hormone associated with dealing with stress. Hmm, but I think serotonin can regulate this (it regulates many hormones), so it might be a good idea increasing these levels. There's simple things, as you probably know, beside medication - try to get out as much as you can, I'm not talking about going out, even just fresh air in the garden as sunlight is vital. Maybe you could make a promise to yourself that you'll X number of minutes outdoors minimum per day. Try and find something to make you laugh, this increases th old endorphins so the same probably applies for serotonin as well. Also, put on a good song, on that you could dance to, this should help make you feel more upbeat. And singing along - singing helps.
I better stop before I get any more outrageous! I'm going to hit the hay myself so I hope you have a nice sleep tonight (sleep is important to). Good night Lizard and Hollow. (Get us, already on 220 comments only 80 to go haha). xxxx
(P.S. What do you call a sick jumper? I'll tell you both later)
Hey hope y'all enjoying the sunshiney weather! xx
It's finally arrived up here too - it's been beautiful. Been outside playing cricket all afternoon - fab. Hope you're ok.xxx
Wow get you! I've been attacking the garden most of the afternoon. Then treated myself to a faux beer, I can't do alcohol these days I picked a good couple of days to be off, want to make the most of it xx
You're better than me. I have a field outside which is laughingly described as a garden!!! If it's nice over the weekend I might do something to it - wonder if anyone had a spare flame thrower I can borrow!!!!!
Yeah mine still needs a bit of work but a bit less jungle now xx
Well done Mine is a haven for wildlife - it's a valuable resource!!! Am I convincing anyone yet?!!
I have lots of different birds in mine, it's like watching a wildlife programme, nests in all different places, even magpies. I have regular visits from a big old hedgehog who is less than quiet and secretive He's like a kid who hides under a leaf and thinks if he closes his eyes and doesn't move he won't be seen xx
Oh wow - I have rabbits who despite the proliferation of nice juicy weeds insist on chewing my irises. And lots of birds - jackdaws, bluetits and some beautiful goldfinches. I'm easy to please though - I was so excited when two pairs of sparrows turned up!!!
Better say Good night - I'm supposed to be at work just after 7am!!!
Sleep well.xxx
Hi Lizard and Hollow.
How're you both doing?
We have the odd hedgehog come along into our garden too. And a pond full of fishes which dad's working on for the summer.
Me and Mum saw a bat in the garden last week, it was twilight.
My new profile pic. I drew it myself. Thoughts? xxxx
Love your fairy picture. You are so talented Fay, she's really cute. I love art but can't draw to save my life.xxx
Awww thankyou. That's really positive and comforting to hear. I was worried what people might think. It felt like a risk.
It's just a hobby really but as I've got more into it I've become more protective from other people's criticisms etc. I guess. Which is silly because there'll always be that one person who isn't so keen.
I hear loads of people say that. But I bet you can draw better than you think - I'm not saying real life portraits but generally.
I really struggle to draw using pencil and paper myself though. I am baffled by anyone who can (Muffinchops can, or should I say ScraggaMuffin now) but I love looking at their work.
We all have different strengths and weaknesses I guess don't we, which is the beauty of it.
So how've you been recently?
And hollow, if you're there? xxxx
I love playing with paint and colour and texture. And I do quite a bit with rubber stamps and collage images but it's true about the drawing. Yes, I've seen one of Muffin's horse portraits too. Think she is v talented.xx
I understand. When it's pencil and paper, I am an expert with stick men. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was disputing what you were saying - that wasn't the case at all, I was just wondering if sometimes people have lower opinion of their own merits than others to. Take Muffin - being critical about her drawing, even though she's excellent at it.
That sounds like a lovely pass time. My sister is in to painting and texture to. It'd be lovely to see sometime but I truly understand if you don't want to.
I hope you're weekend's been ok Lizard. At least it's a bank holiday so there is always tomorrow and the day after. xxxx
Looks like we're well into the 230s guys. C'mon we can do this, before the summer. Les make our goal 300. xxxx
Wow! Hey love your pic I agree with Lizard you are very talented. I'd love to be so artistic. Any plans for the bank holiday? I've had an extra extra long weekend as I've been off since Wednesday xx
Thank you. It's sort of developed recently. The whole thing came about by accident a couple of years ago when I was on Paint, and then it just got more detailed as time passed by. I've even given a few to people as presents.
Lucky you, I'm jealous! Not a moment although I'm definitely getting out in the sunshine as it's lovely weather. I hope it stays the same for the summer! Have you/are doing anything fun this weekend ? xx
Only 13 more to go and then we'll be on 250. I wonder how big this blog is going to be?! lol xx
500 easily
I might try and go for a walk tomorrow. Today I've just been sorting out my washing machine and watching the football..... I know, I know yawwwwn xx
Hey hollow, what you enjoy doing. I might try and go for one today depending where Dad is walking the dog. xx
Definitely it will be the biggest ever HU blog! Mainly thanks to 3 awesome people! xxxx
I need to get out more and be more sociable! Just thought I'd share that
Yes. A big thank you to you and lizard for being so nice as to keeping in touch xx
Me too. Hopefully I'll meet loads of new people in Uni.
Awwww and that's ok. Thanks for staying in touch with me too. And a big thanks to Lizard of course.
I'm sure you will met lots of nice people. Nice people attract nice people I feel. xx
Thankyou. And yeah definitely. xx
Exciting times ahead..... xx
Definitely - I'm really excited. I've put my choices in now. I felt really bad about declining the other offers..but it had to be done. xx
What needs doing needs doing.... will you have to move out of home? xx
Yeah I will, but I think that's exactly what I need. I think it'd drive me mad staring at the same 4 walls of my parent's house any longer. I want to find my independence. It's going to be hard though, probably harder than I realise but I'm sure I'll managed. I'll see if my parents can get my 'trained up' for the summer. Also, if I go to first choice, my auntie only lives 20mins away so she'll see be there if anything goes wrong.
And my insurance choice is close enough to my parents if anything does go wrong, but not toooo close. xx
The beginning of an adventure! Scary but exciting. Sounds like you've thought it through xx
Hi Hollow,
How are you?
I've had a rubbish weekend; bulimia and SI raising their heads in response to all the problems that have overwhelmed me. Sometimes I despair of ever finding healthy coping mechanisms. As we've discussed I need to go back to counselling. I'm considering going private but would need to travel as there is no-one local and then there is the dilemma of how would I know I'd chosen the right person??
I've just noticed that this is our 250th post ~ wish I had something more positive to say!!!!
I'm so grateful to have you both. Thank you so much for all your care and support.
Love
Lizard.
PS ~ how is Cat? Did you get used to each other?
Hey Lizard hope you're having a better week than that of your weekend.
Thinking of you both, hope you're well xx
Hi Guys. Well, I'm very happy it's a Friday which is a good start. I've had an ok week, tough at the beginning but it slowly got better.
Not sure there much more to say really.
Just that I hope you're both ok. xx
Something really weird happened last weekend when this looker was giving me the 'glad' eyes. I wondered it was just me as first but then he made it obvious by raising his eyebrows up and down in a pleasing way.
Strange stuff, never happens.
I am wondering whether I should march in there in the the summer and ask him to take me out for a drink.
I've nothing to lose. And I would be so proud of myself.
Sorry this all took place in the IT store when my Mum and my sister went in to take my sister's poorly laptop for repair (not mine, you'll be surprised to here). I've managed to fix it now. But hey, maybe the difficulties had been a premonition.
Naaah I'm only kidding.
The cat.
How's the cat?
(Oh, mine was really incredibly friendly today. Out of character for him). xx
Oh and re. my joke. What do you call a sick jumper?
'Cuff. Cuff.'
In the summer.....? Is there some reason you can't do it before then? Oh hello by the way
Did I tell you both that my GP gave me a cd based on self hypnosis? I'm still in the first two weeks which is all about relaxation, so essentially listen to the same track for two weeks before going to sleep. Whether it works or not remains to be seen but it does help me wind down before nodding off at least. I shall keep you informed but if I come on clucking like a chicken something has gone drastically wrong!
Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic? He choked on his own vimto. Sorry.....!!
xx
If it works out how I want it to (that he says yes) I don't want any distractions during the critical exam period. Anyway, it will be my mission. Something that will help my confidence. Hi.
Haha, let's hope you don't start clucking like a chicken! Or barking like a dog! Seriously though I'm glad it helps you to wind down - it's doing some good.
I didn't hear about the dyslexic alcoholic. Haha a good one. I like.
What do you call a man with no ears? Anything you want! He can't hear ya! xx
Ahhh wise woman! Summer it is then but surely you'll have to go back in every now and then just so he knows what he is missing out on.....?
Sorry what was that you said... Eh? No, no good I can't hear ya!
xx
Hahahaha, that's brilliant.
And I think I will do just that. Ma laptop is a good pretext for this. And then if I go in a number of times I can make sure I am getting same good reception each time and get a 'feel' for who he is.
I said YOU CAN CALL A MAN WITH NO EARS ANYTHING YA WANT! xx
Hey Lizard sorry didn't notice your post earlier. Sorry to hear life is being crap to you! I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday and we both agreed that I need to give up on grasping life. What? I hear you say! Not easy to explain but in a nutshell I'm not that important in the whole grand scheme of things. Sounds negative but it's not meant to. I need not fear fear or death which I hope in turn will lead me to start living again.
With any counsellor I've had I know from my initial feeling if it's going to work and if I go down that road again then I will pay attention to that first sense or feeling and if it doesn't feel right then I won't waste my time! There is always hope please don't forget that.
Cat? Jury is still out...... xx
Hi Hollow,
How's life?
I think I understand what you mean about not grasping at life. I don't have hypachondriasis all the time but I have a morbid fear of some illnesses and conditions. If my anxiety gets hold of one I can be trapped in a loop for months; magnified symptoms, constant OCD thoughts and checking. You're talking to someone who has (according to half the opticians in the NE of England and 1 eye specialist) taught herself to "see" the blind spot in her eye. This terror went on for months. Every few seconds I was frantically checking my sight to see what I couldn't see until a friend asked me if I really thought I could loose my sight and not notice Eventually the only way I can get out of these loops is to tell myself. It's ok to have whatever the condition is ~ I just have to get on with today. I am so conscious of how much of my life I have lost in absolute terror of things that haven't happened and I really don't want to live like that anymore. All of which is a long winded way of saying I think I understand what you are trying to do and if I've got it right it is a strategy that has worked for me. It's a challenge though as accepting the physical symptoms of anxiety and going on regardless is bloody hard!!!!!
Total change of subject but I would appriciate your thoughts ~ I seem to be drifting into a feud with my neighbour. This is no mean feat as I live the best part of a mile from anyone!!! However to get there you have to go down a farm track and a woman has bought the house at the top of the lane. Apparently when she bought the house the lane failed to make it's presence clear and she has a huge problem with vehicles using it. She's harrassed the council to put up private road signs which they've done but I still need to get home and she's always there. She walks in front of the car until you practically have to stop; she parks across the top so you can't get in at all; she shouts at people visiting me telling them to slow down they're frightening the horses (the horses were in a field) and then this morning she stood behind the car giving us the finger ??!!! I know it sounds ridiculous.I don't even know this woman's name. I've never spoken to her but I'm starting to obsess. I'd like to complain but who would I complain to??
Anyway I hope you're ok. The sun shone here today ~ for a moment it felt like summer was on it's way
Love,
Lizard.xxx
Hi Lizard funnily I was thinking of you yesterday and was about to leave a post but my laptop went on a go slow so I gave up made a sandwich, braved the evil looks a lone man gets from mothers with kids and sat in the park eating my sandwich and watching the ducks, then went on an impromptu walk across the fields and through the woods. Sun was glorious!!
Hmmm bit of a dilemma, first and foremost have you tried talking to her? Regardless of whether it's a private road you will have reasonable right of access which means no barriers you can't cross such as a car blocking the way or a locked gate that you don't have a key to. I would check the deeds with the planning dept at the council just to make sure if she does own the track and make a complaint to them whether it is or not.
Is your home rental? If so I would leave all that to your letting agent or landlord!
Good luck, let me know how you get on!
xxx
Hi Hollow,
Tonight I really understand why you no longer frequent the message board
Seems to be in a constant state of turmoil at the moment which is so not good when I feel the same way myself.
I still haven't sorted out the problem with the women at the top of the road. Yes, it's a rented house and my landlord owns the lane to my house. The two houses at the top are privately owned but they do not own the lane. Yes, if I was brave I'd ring the landlord and explain but I can't cope with the thought of talking to him at the moment. Am feeling very paranoid at the moment, about everything, which makes it hard for me to have a rational view on the situation. My heart is in my mouth every time I turn in at the top, expecting her to leap out and complain.
To be honest I haven't sorted much out recently. My depression seems to have got a lot worse. I have the energy level of a teabag. All I do is get up and go to work and come home and go to bed. It's not much of a life. Usually when I'm like this my anxiety is quiet. I don't have the energy for it but sadly this isn't the case. My mind is leaping around all over the place ~ tonight it's latched onto a problem at work and is running round like a rat in a cage. So exhausting and I have no idea what is a true and what isn't.
Bet you're glad I replied .....
Hope you're doing ok.xxx
Hi Lizard always happy to hear from you no matter what the subject! Funny in an ironic sense how depression can dampen the anxiety. I've been known to welcome the dark clouds to give me a break!
I look at the posts well the title of posts and it's the same cyclic pain it does make me feel ill. I have to stop myself from reading the posts. I know that probably sounds bad because people are looking for support but it brings me down. I'm grateful for the people I've met though.
Back to your dilemma...... do you feel able to maybe write to your landlord instead? Seems so unfair that you should have to suffer because of someone with little else to
do with their time than you sit like the troll under the bridge!
I'd like to move house as my neighbour seems to be getting noisier and noisier. I enjoy peace and quiet, could happily live on a island with like minded quietees (okay I admit I've just made that word up)
Hope to hear from you soon xxx
Hey Lizard sorry to hijack on something that you wrote a couple of days ago (if it's any consolation I have just posted a worst case scenrio blog to try and reduce anxiety - but the whole situation has been very distressing).
I'm sorry you're having a difficult time at the moment - I'm glad you've got the issue with your neighbour sorted though - have you seen the doctor...more recently? Keep going and reviewing. Thanks for your message. I'll send you an email when I can. And you can ask Muffin if you need to contact me via email sooner (but hopefully I would have been in touch by then), speaking of whom...
You'll never guess who's joined us?
V
V
V (I don't have a 'down' arrow) xxxx
Hi hollow,
I hope you are well. I haven't spoken to you in aaages. Well I've finished my exams now they were a mixed bag.
Still haven't been to see the looker from the shop. I need to entre for a reason, and there is as a matter of fact, my faulty speakers. However, I have...and I know this sounds totally sad but I recreated the scene in a form of art, and if somehow sees it, I will just die of embaressment! So I'm leaving it for as long as possible. I would like some new ear buds though, could go into the shop for that?
I can't believe I'm going to be 19 in two weeks! Time just flies. I have asked my mother take me shopping town so I can pick my own prezzies. xD It's must easier than just writing a list. And hints/surprises, don't seem to work in our house hold.
...
Oh hollow, I don't know whether or not I am going mad. But it just feels as if everyone on the site is turning against eachother. But I don't know what to say to soothe anyone. There's nothing TO say!
I guess I could cheer myself with telling myself a cheesy joke?
There were 2 biscuits in the oven. One said. 'It's hot in here', and I don't know what the other said in response. Maybe you could tell me?
xxxx
Hey good to hear from you! Wow! Well done you..... round of applause! Cheers from the crowd! The girl did it. No one really doubted her but it's good that she can finally put her feet up smoke a big cigar and say didn't I do well. Now get to that shop and make it a summer of love or at least a coffe or two in a bohemian café. Make it a birthday present to yourself.
Ahh it's sad to hear that people are bickering but it's understandable given the edge of nerves we live on.
xxx
this blog has been going on since August 2012?!?! I was going to comment any way, as I never knew this blog even existed until just now! I didn't want to look an idiot commenting months after it had been posted, but it's still going on now? I was so shocked to see it is still working up the comments number, so I'll help you out, I'm in the mood to waffle for years...
Seen a few comments about me in here, none of which I knew about until a few minutes ago, you're all awfully sweet and caring, especially my Flip Flop friend...
Everyone OK?
x
Hi MC welcome to our blog all are welcome. We are a small but proud community of three hoping to hit 300 posts x
Daaahrling - what are YOU doing here you rock coated soft, Muffin Chopsey! Yes, there was a point when I wasn't hearing from you for ages so I was like, Lizard, you heard from her, and she was like, no? I hope you don't mind, it was only because I cared deeply for you.
How did you find out about us? Probably me mentioning in hollow's more recent blog. We just got chatting one day and decided to keep it going. It just goes to show how one thing can blosson into something amazing.
Thanks for helping us out! We're trying to reach 300! I'll let Lizard know you've joined our little community - but you have to keep it quiet ok? Ok, ziiiiip. It's private.
Take care honey bubba,
Your Flip flop friend (Love the nickname and have already sought to using it in my blogs, I thought you'd just made it up on the spot after I told you my Gavison joke by the way, I am feeling MUCH better recently. )
xxxx
Just try na find an appropiate place to comment. Anyway, basically this blog is private, but if we few other members join us, that's fine, we just don't advertise it. Oh, this is hollow by the way. Hollow, this is Muffinchops. xx
Hi Chopsey Flopsey I thought we could we finish our natter here if we are going to give us any chance of reaching the 300 goal (I'm glad we could get the numbers up on my more recent blog, after all we don't want it getting lost and want as many people to see as possible, but I don't want to put people off with our 'in jokes'.) So I thought we could do 2 things at once.
That's of course, if hollow here doesn't mind?
And how on Earth did you find us? This is an exclusive club! Did you 'borrow' my wand? xxxx
actually if hollow is the gate keeper and says all are welcome, then they are. Silly me for not reading properly. xx
Oi! When I say all are welcome.......
Sorry! (Gives apologetic look) I missread your comment...
Hey, we only have 15 more comments to go and then we're there. We've done it. Cracked it.
We'll get to 100. Easily. xxxx
sorry damn 300! that's what I meant! duh Fay!
woohoo! Who'd have thought back when we aimed for 50.... xx
I know. It's great isn't it. We're just on the cusp. Getting closer and closer with every comment.
Oh BTW, have you heard from Lizard today?? xx
Yes no problem, I could easily get you into the 300's haha! I curiously typed in my username to see if anybody had spoke about me, and sure enough, flip flop was there lool! I then got entrenched and decided to join in, a bit rude of me I know, I hope it's OK though? The wand didn't help, it keeps changing colors, is that normal?
xxxx
No! Have you tainted it?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT?!? 
Haha just kidding
Yeah yeah that's fine. It's a Funky wand which originally belong to a very Funky fairy so it changes colours to try and coordinate with your outfit (although it doesn't like yellow). Also, because it has a new owner it might be getting a feel for you and trying to get used to you. BE PATIENT WITH THE WAND! It will help you and wants to help you. FunkyfairyFlipflopFay will be pretty insulted if you give up on it too soon.
I have a query about the Flip flops, they can actually bounce (so high I could almost get away with not having wings), and walk on water - did you realise this?
Yes, I remember I kept asking Lizard whether she had heard from you because I hadn't been in touch with you for ages (it was in the good ol' days before I got your email), and you're going through a pretty tough time, well a very tough time, I was worried about you...
xxxxxx
The good old days were meant ironically, things are better now we're email buddies. Just thought I'd clear that up.
25 comments to go...
where oh where is hollow?
Lizard and hollow come to us we're guna reach our go-al. (8)
xxxx
And by that's fine you're more than welcome to join us. We need some Muffin back up anyway. xx
I must dash for now but I'll be back to post comments later. We can still reach our goal. xx
Hollow if you're there I would love an update on the cat.
Lizard, hope you're feeling better.
The cat! I don't want to talk about the cat! He's okay made himself quite at home but still insists on wailing and going on some search and wreck missions at half four in the morning! xx
Please may I borrow the cat? At least I'd be entertained at 4am - can't seem to be able to sleep beyond then on a good day. On a bad day I'm up before 3am
If you want a lilac point siamese who a bit autistic then he is all yours xx
Oh no! Well I'm glad he's finally settled but I'm sorry he's disturbing you so early. Maybe he'll grow out of it? xx
Or is he already quite old for a cat?
No he's only a year old. He's not as bad as he was but would still like to find him a good home I think he would be better off with someone who can spend more time with him xx
Ahh, well I guess I can understand that.
You've still got him in the mean time though? xxxx
Hi hollow I just want to say, seriously if we have hijacked, then I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry if I've done anything to upset you. I just thought we could help reach the 300 mark.
You've been very welcoming to our new arrival Muffin so I thankyou for that.
We're more than happy to stop if you want, it's your post not ours. We don't have the right to use it as if it was ours. If it wasn't for we wouldn't even have this thread. xxxx
What you talking about? What's been hijacked and what do the hijackers want? They can have a cat for the safe return of whoever or whatever they've taken. Hope it's not lizard I did hear from her earlier but nothing since dyou think they've got her.....? xx
Me and my friend starting having a natter on here and I was wondering if that's ok cos it's your post, and not ours. Silly of me really. I just wanted to check. It was me who did the hijacking, no one else.
I'm sure Lizard is still here, but I'm worried about her, she sounds like she's really depressed at the moment. The drama hasn't helped either. I'll email her to check what's going on.
Sorry for not making any sense. (apologetic look) xxxx
Shhhush with ya! It's our post not mine. You can have as many friends around as you like just don't get drunk and stay up late!! Good night xx
Lizard if you are reading have a hug xx
Ohhh! Ok thankyou.
Ok, I have wasted a lot of time trying to explain it and now I probably don't make any sense. (gives another apologetic look).
Lizard, happy vibes and (((hugs))) are coming your way. I'll have your email address, don't worry we haven't lost touch. I'll be fuming if the admin have dared try and alter your membership - you've done nothing wrong and don't deserve that to happen.
Oh, Hollow, did you see my post? anxietyuk.healthunlocked.co...
I want as many people to have seen it as possible. It's important and has lots of positive points. xx
maybe hijacking was the wrong word.
Gosh, I have made this confusing haven't I?! xxxx
I sometimes go through phrases where I confuse myself and don't make any sense. I'm really sorry for all the confusion wrong. It was just me getting pent up over one little thing and blowing it out of proportion. Because it was so out of proportion you wondered what was wrong and now somehow Lizard is involved! I just hope she's ok because I've not heard from her, it's unrelated to what I was saying about the 'hijacking' (VERY bad choice if word). xxxx
You are over thinking! I wasn't thinking anything. Thinking is not allowed for at least a week! Hey let me know if you hear from Lizard will check in come the morning. Sleep well xxx
Hi Hollow,
I've just discovered we can access all our old posts again so I thought I'd write on here. You never know we might even pass the 300 mark. We could even have jaffa cakes now I've discovered I like them!!!!!
Sorry I've been so quiet recently. I've been feeling so low; so bad in fact I even went to the doctor. Not that it's helped especially. In a month he's gone from so worried about me he wanted to involve the crisis team to not bothered as I've stabilised Err ... well yes I have stabilised. I'm no longer ready to jump out of the window but by no stretch of the imagination do I feel well or stable. If I was to grade myself on a scale of 1-10 I've stabilised somewhere around 3. I'm still really low, half the time I feel like I'm not there and I have the energy and motivation levels of a teabag ~ but apparently I'm not cause for concern Ok, I'll take his word for it but if no-one minds I'll keep worrying about myself!!!!!
Added to which the troll has a mate ... he leap out and tackled a friend of mine driving back up the lane having dropped me off. Yelled loads of abuse (my friend yelled plenty back) about it being a private road and tried to take the car registration at which point my friend offered to give him his name and address too!!!! It's just ludicrous and it would be funny if it didn't make me so anxious. I dread turning into the lane for fear of what will greet me. I was stuck there 10 minutes the other weekend as the farmer had parked in the middle of the road and disappeared to look at cows ??!! Has everyone lost all vestige of common sense and courtesy?? I've lived here most of my life and never had problems like this before.
Anyway enough of me rambling on.
I hope you're ok.
Love
Lizard.xxx
Hi Hollow, Lizard if you're out there.
I've just realised it's been MONTHS since we've talked on here and I wanted to get our replies started up again (if you're still interested?) you may be able to see now that, with this comment, we've DONE it! We've reached 300. I was looking through all old comments and I couldn't help but smile. So I'm sprinkling some fairy dust ok and we'll share jaffa cakes and some posh drinks later when I see you next.
How are you?
Do you still have the cat and did he ever improve?
Hope Lizard and Muffin show their faces too, I'm sure we'll be able to reach 500 by the end of the year.
OH HAPPY NEW YEAR! by the way. Any resolutions? I plan to start mine after the Christmas leftovers have been eaten and then I can think with a clear head, with no distractions.
Love to hear from you again,
Fay xxxx
Hi Fay, really sorry I've been trying to respond since you sent this (Hey Liz if you're there) but each time I tried the page crashed not sure what the difference is tonight but it's been frustrating the bejeebers out of me! Hope you had a good Christmas and Happy New Year albeit belatedly.
My cat sadly passed away a few months ago, not sure he was ever right....
I'm embarking on a eight week Mindfulness course next week in the hope I can kick the anxiety this year, I've definitely improved in that I'm having more 'better' days than 'awful' days. I'm also waiting for the NHS to provide me with counselling and I've joined a medication class!
Are you well? How are the studies coming along?
Hope to hear from you soon and to be able to reply xxx
Hi hollow,
I thought that might be it don't worry. Thinking this post is having a hard time being 300 + comments long (curiouser and curiouser still, it was fine when it was 299! Haha). Hope Liz comes on, I miss us all here. And I was hoping, still am, we get this post to be 500 comments long. Maybe once it's active again it won't crash so much. When I came back here, I keep having to scroll down slowly in order for the page to load up so caught lots of glimpses of our old conversations ('what do you call a fish with no eyes?' 'an eyeless fish?' oh how I laughed).
Christmas was great! Thankyou! And NY. How about you? (And Happy belated New Year of course ).
I'm really sorry about the cat. No it doesn't like he was right. Glad you're no longer getting woken up by him now though, do you think you'll look for another one? (Hope it isn't too early to ask).
And that's brilliant! That's really fantastic, good luck rest of your recovery - let me know hwo you get on - and remember, don't be put out if you have the odd bad (or 'awful') day - we all get them. Hope the NHS find you a slot soon. I generally find talking things over really does help.
I'm not too bad thanks. I'll be honest here as I don't like lying, uni is more stressful than I thought it would be, but I'm finding the lectures - and what we learn about interesting. I'm having a break from it at the mo and we start our new modules at the end of Jan.
There's so much I have to tell you! Can't possibly put it all in here at stupid o clock in the morning! I need to get my body clock more realigned. So we'll save it for a better time. Look forward to hearing from you again soon. xxxx
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How are you all this weekend?
Feel like getting things off my chest !!!!!
Awesome weekend then 💥 Boom 
Gosh what a weekend...
Friday here in NZ so here are my positives.Moderation team
DarrylPartner
BethisherePartner
