Life is getting harder

[Anxious_Sufferer]

Not sure where to turn, it feels like there's a mountan on my shoulders. Anxiety is wearing me down big time, anyone git suggestions?

[Beevee]

Hi

You will probably find that it is wearing you down because you are battling all the symptoms. If you do the opposite to fighting it and let go and do absolutely nothing about the symptoms, they will gradually melt away. Anxiety is a paradox. The less you do to try and get better, the more you will feel better so stop resisting and go towards the symptoms willingly. They can't harm you, it is just excessive adrenalin which you are fearing.

Regards

Beevee

[Roz31 in reply to Beevee]

hi Beevee I find it very hard to not too fight and fear the anxiety particularly as it is due to a fear of pain and when I feel pain it surges my anxiety and I also catastrophize about pain and being in pain I am 65 and have never been an anxious person until earlier this year when I had a condition called hyperparathyroidism diagnosed and one of the symptoms is anxiety as well as lots of other things I've had the operation to remove one of my parathyroid glands but I'm still feeling very anxious and I have arthritis so have quite a bit of pain and I particularly fear that pain since I started having anxiety I seem to be more sensitised to it have you got any suggestions of how to deal with that please

[Beevee in reply to Roz31]

Hi Roz

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. The comment from Cat33 is good advice. If you understand the subject of anxiety and what causes it (sensitised nerves that control your emotions such as fear, flight response which have been trained to fire off at the slightest thing or thought and attaches itself to anything, in your case, pain, in my case,it was health, relationships and work) and how it manifests, this will help you to diffuse the anxiety "bomb" by removing the fear. I also suspect that you may also fear the symptoms of anxiety too or fear of the feelings of fear. Non sufferers feel fear but they just let the feelings go and don't pay much attention. Anxiety sufferers take it to a whole new level because they worry too much about the fearful response which just adds more fear which keeps it all going.

Understanding is key which makes it easier to accept the anxiety, and not to react the anxious feelings/thoughts.

Needless to say, being in constant physical pain is no fun but by accepting the feelings of anxiety and doing nothing about them, the anxiety will gradually melt away. It won't happen overnight because time is needed to let your sensitised nerves heal. As they heal, your resilience towards the anxiety improves to the point that the feelings no longer bother you.

[Roz31 in reply to Beevee]

Thanks Beevee for your response it is so difficult though when those feelings of anxiety come over you was horrible surges to just ignore them and not think oh gosh it's there again and that often happens particularly when I get any little pain even. And there is the catastrophizing and anticipation of pain which is also so difficult and that causes me great fear yes and the fact that am I always going to be in pain I had this operation 5 weeks ago and I know it is still early days but I should be feeling a bit better but I am so frustrated because I have felt like this for so long now all this year I'm not getting any younger and I feel like I wasted so much time and I suppose that then brings guilt feelings which compounds it all.... I feel like I have a barrier that stops me doing things and I don't know how to get over that how did you just ignore those horrible feelings I would be grateful for any more advice thank you

[Beevee in reply to Roz31]

recovery from anxiety is not about not feeling anxious because that is a normal bodily response. Sufferers have just become fearful of being anxious which creates an anxiety loop. Recovery is about not caring whether you have anxiety or not ( just like someone who doesn't have an anxiety disorder) which requires a shift in attitude to remove the fear. For example, instead of reacting by thinking "oh gosh, here it comes, I can't stand this etc..." develop a new attitude to not caring about it and mean it. It is only a thought or feeling and completely harmless. This new attitude will away the fear that you have attached to the thoughts or feelings which will still come but those surges of energy you mention will lessen over a period of time and will get to a point where they no longer bother you.

As for the barriers, This is common and the anxiety trying to dictate. I didn't feel like doing anything for a while. Everything felt such an effort but I did it anyway. I didn't ignore the thoughts or feelings, I just took them with me and carried on with my day, regardless of how I felt. Not easy but not impossible. I didn't Ignore them, it is more about letting them be there but being ok about it as it is hard to ignore something that comes with such force. Ignoring it may require effort and add more tension if you are forcefully trying to push the feelings away or trying to do something about them. It is the trying part that keeps the anxiety alive. Instead, do nothing about them and let the thoughts and feelings be there but don't resist in any way. By doing nothing you are sending a message to your brain that there is no threat and your fear/flight response, which is so swift at kicking in causing those surges, will return to normal response levels.

If you are able, read my earlier posts which may help you further. I would also advise reading books by Dr Claire Weekes which provides you with the understanding that is the foundation to overcoming anxiety. If you understand what is happening to you and why, it becomes less frightening and makes acceptance of the symptoms much easier. Don't get me wrong, it took me a while to change my attitude but everyone using this website has what it takes to do this.

[sarm]

Take time for yourself each day. A period of doing something you enjoy that relaxes you. I found online guided meditation videos on youtube for anxiety really helps me. But everyone's different. Maybe check it out x

[Cat33]

Time to start unloading that weight of anxiety that is wearing you down its a rotten old thing but you can do it

Read as much as you can about anxiety Loads of lovely relaxation meditation hypnosis type videos on YouTube

Exercise if you can walking is really fantastic if you can just do a little walk every day it will make a difference

Stop battling and fighting it

Be kind to yourself you have an illness same as any other I'm sure you have friends that have something physically wrong and they get sympathy and do the right thing to get well That's what you must do think "I have an illness like any other I can't help it but I can and will get better" Take one day at a time keep a diary you will be surprised at just how many good moments you have Post on here we all understand and you won't feel alone with it

Start getting that mountain down to a hill then a slope you can do it

Loads and loads of luck 😊

[Anxious_Sufferer]

Thank you

[Stay_strong85]

I am in your shoes. I am a mess today. Hyperventilating as we speak because I can't seem to get the emotions out. I feel like i need a slap in the face! I am sorry you are gling through it too. Just don't give up ok. No matter what! If that's all we got let's do it!