So Fu*#!ng sick of this

This is not fair. I keep going in circles with this. I can't seem to have even a few days in a row of a freaking peace of mind. A fee days in a row with out a fuc*!ng worry or something new always arises that fuc*!ng makes me wonder what is going on now. One minute I'm dealing with my freaking upset stomach and having toilet issues, one minute constipation next it's different. Next day I'm dealing with nausea and wondering why the hell I can't eat. I have never had to force food in my life. Never had problems eating. And now I can't fucking eat a meal like I want. One day I'm ok then the exact next day I can't fucking eat. Last night I felt terrible my stomach felt heavy, back felt heavy, I'm awaiting my menustral which by the way it wants to play stupid with me. It was supposed to come on yesterday. I was expecting it should and it's still not on yet. Instead I was stuck with upset stomach all night and couldn't even eat my dinner which puts me at two days in a row of not good eating which is now gonna continue to add to my struggle of weight loss. Which I've been battling since thus stupid ass anxiety has been around. I keep asking God what is happening to me. 😢😢 I'm trying so hard not to question him or get frustrated with God because I honestly feel punished. Not from God but still I feel like I being punished maybe for all the wrong I've done in my life for not having the faith God wants me to have. Because I still worry so much. I woke up today just worried. This is awful. I can't stand this shit. I want to eat. I want to sleep. I have two daughters that deserve my attention who needs their mom and here I am every single day or other day crying, going through symptoms, weak mentally and physically. 😢😢😢😢 How long am I going to suffer???????

14 Replies

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  • I'm sorry you're experiencing this, did you try going to the doctors?

  • Yes have been to emergency rooms, hAve seen a gp, have had blood works did over and over. Was on meds but I quit because I feel it wasn't helping.

  • Oh gosh I'm so sorry. Did your gp consider sending you to a specialist? I'm not very educated on what your experiencing but I would persist on seeing a specialist until a reason can be found. It could also just be stress that's causing these symptoms.

  • Well as far as seeing my gp the only issue or health concerns that I am actually dealing with is kidney disease. Which I am scheduled to see a kidney specialist soon. But as far as anything else she feels straight up and down that I'm fine. That I'm going to be ok. My other blood works have came back fine but was vitamin d deficient and she has me taking vitamin d supplement for that. Other than that which is already worried me so much to a point that yes I an very stressed. Very worried, everything is always put on my anxiety. I was so called diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder from a therapist so it's tough to go through all I'm going through not knowing if it just my anxiety and stress which yes I definitely am stressed. Have intrusive thoughts every time I have symptoms. The meds I was taking I felt was adding to my symptoms. So I quit taking it.

  • I'm honestly in the same position as you so I can empathize. I don't have an answer for you unfortunately since I haven't figured it out myself yet. Just know you're not the only one. I'm struggling with not being able to differentiate between what might be health anxiety or real health issues.

  • Yes that's exactly how I feel. And u felt the meds wasn't helping much and since I couldn't tell if my symptoms was from my anxiety or the meds I just decided to quit the meds and just deal with my anxiety head on. But it's a bit of comfort when you can talk to someone who can relate. I wish us the best through this.

  • Hi I am on a tablet called cymbalta, it is fabulous for anxiety, 60 mg wishing you well.

  • I really feel your pain. I hear ya. Look, I suffer with it badly too and I have a lot of similar thoughts about it...I am exhausted. And the food thing...same here! Ugh. But I know that God has a plan for us...everything is working together for the good even though its super hard to see it that way. I am struggling with my faith through all of this, but I have to keep believeing that God HAS A PLAN and that everything truly is going to work out. We will be back to ourselves sooner than we think. The point is NOT to give up. I know it is very frustrating, but this battle is going to make people like us stronger and better. Keep the hope. I know it is upsetting, it pisses me off too, but I know I can overcome it and so can you.

  • Thank you for responding. I do agree with you that through it all I must have hope and not give up. I cry too because I feel like I'm disappointed God for being so weak mind and not having the strong faith I need on him simply because I still continue to worry constantly. I ask God to forgive me every chance. It's like I'm heartbroken yet disappointed mixed with frustration. My kids every time I even look at them I cry because I'm not strong like I was before all this happened. But you are right. GOD has a plan. And i have to continue to keep hope and faith 8n knowing God will never put more on me than I can bare. I wish us the best through this.

  • Thank you. Yes, very true. And honestly I don't think God's forgiveness is the issue, I believe we aren't forgiving ourselves for becoming this way...cause sometimes I feel angry that I even got to this point in my life. Maybe God simply wants us to love and forgive ourselves and trust in him fully. We will never know, but the main thing is to not give up learning and working toward recovering.

  • You are absolutely right. What you said I will keep that in my mind and my heart. That maybe God wants us to love and forgive ourselves. Which I don't quite think I've done that.

  • I am experiencing similar symptoms and I'm getting a hormone profile ? I don't know why but my anxiety started when I stopped taking the pill. Iv also lost way too much weight and struggle with food could be something to get checked as iv had everything else checked and there's no reason for me to be anxious or cry a lot this isn't me

  • My original GP did bloodwork and checked everything and tried to tell me I was fine too . I knew I wasn't . So I found a new GP a younger lady who , when I sat in her office and broke down explaining what I was feeling and thinking totally understood . She referred me to a therapy program and started me on meds (it took a few different dosage levels and different meds but I eventually found one that worked ) . Maybe you should get a second opinion? My original family doc was an older man and seemed to have the " your being foolish there's nothing physically wrong with you all your tests were fine so you are fine " mentality. I've watched my sister go through the same thing with him a few years later . She's still a mess and is getting zero help outside of me or my other sister always reassuring her .

  • I am feeling the same way! I got sick 6 months ago with the flu that's what the drs said it was but it lasted like three weeks! I had vomiting diarrhea couldn't eat and kept waking up every morning at 5-6 am with burning chest which I think was anxiety. Now 6 months later I again am having diarrhea nausea and waking up at5-6am with the same chest burning. I feel so sick everyday can't est nauseas diarrhea. Feel like I am living off of phenergan and Imodium just to make it they the day!!! And now I am having extra anxiety that I need to take my xanax which I feel I shouldn't need as I am already on lexapro20mg. I have had blood work, colonoscopy, endoscopy,my dr gave me aciphex which I have been taking for 6 months cause the dr said I had gastritis and gerd. Now they gave me colestid which I took for 4 days and I thought it was working but then yesterday had the worst day ever and had to take an Imodium and phenergan just to make it thru work! I just don't know what to do. It seems like my symptoms are worse in the am and normally get better by evening. I have a living husband and a daughter that need me and it's so hard to function like this. Sorry for the rant...

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