Help

[Nina78]

Hi 11 moth ago i started to suffer with sever anxiaty attacks.i think it was triggered by my mums death.we done almost everything togeather.i was helping look after her appointments etc.12 weeks she lasted.from start to end.i was with theire with my dad and said to my mum its oky now time to go to sleep.it killed me inside.i pushed my feelings aside for a year then a few other family members died after her.i didnt have time to think about my mums death.hence it came to a blow last november and with the rest of the deaths it hit me like a tone of bricks.iesevere anxiety attacks.couldnt even go out myself.or even have a soak in the bath.as time has gone on with medacation.and alot of help from family it has calmed a bit compaired to what it was.also going through the start of meapose.which dosnt help either.i just want to stop crying and smile again.please can someone sujest something.i would be most grateful.

[Agora1]

Hi Nina78, my mom passed away in 2010. I cried everyday for 5 years straight. No medication or therapy could touch it. I think I just needed to go through the healing process at my own pace. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her, but the emotional pain has lessen some. I have accepted becoming the woman she raised me to be. She wouldn't have wanted me to fall apart because of her death. You will smile again when you are ready. There is no right or wrong way of grieving. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you well once again. x

[Angep Star]

Hi Nina, I'm really sorry you lost your mum, I lost my mum 3 years ago. We were really close too. It triggers off so many emotions in you.i would think I must call my mum and tell her about this and that!! But then it would hit me that I can't!! I realised life would never quite be the same again! How could it be!! Christmas, birthdays Mother's Day. I couldn't even have a picture of her around because I would just cry all the time.i used to dream I was looking for her!! I'd be standing by the road waiting for her. One day I found her and I asked her where she had been? I said I've been looking for you and I couldn't find you!! She said I'm ok Ange, stop worrying about me!! Im fine, I stopped dreaming about her after that. You have to grieve because if you don't I think that causes you more problems.but You also have to think would your mum want you to be sad all day I know mine wouldn't.its very early days for you yet, but here's some hope for you !! I now have a photograph out of my mum, I look at her picture and smile, I can laugh now at times when I talk about her because she was so funny, still talk to her in my mind or to her picture.i don't cry at anniversarys anymore. I can't deal with the cemetery very well though as shes there with my sister.my point is it will get easier with the passing of time. Youl always miss her but the pain will ease to a manageable level., the anxiety is because of the trauma. You may find it helpful to talk to a bereavement Counciller. Because your hormones are up and down all over the place, that seems to make everything feel worse. I too am going through peri menopause.it affects how I feel and even my sweats sweat!! Ooh it's a nightmare sometimes!! I give myself a talking too often!! I just tell myself to be positive, keep busy. I can always find something to do.its best to keep your mind occupied.grieve but do Other things you like to do too. Hobbies? Some excercise? Happy things. Take care and keep posting on here to get it all off your chest. It's sounds like you have a lot of support too which is great for you X

[Nina78 in reply to Angep]

Thanks.x