Anxiety for a week - don't know what to do

[kjgirlnz]

Hi everyone,

Just discovered this site. I suddenly came down with (what i think is) Pure O - intrusive thoughts. I was going though a stressful few days (studies and my boyfriend was a little ill) and all of a sudden I started having these terrible, mean, intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend. I live with him, we have been together about 1.5 years and he is my rock, supportive, loving and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love him incredibly. So, as you can imagine, these terrible thoughts shocked me. I couldn't get rid of them and they scared me and started to make me question my love for him.

I have done lots of reading since and it appears that I don't have any problem with my relationship, I have the problem with my thoughts. They stress me out, make me act slightly differently around him and they truly consume me. I can't even tell him about them because it would be incredibly difficult to explain. We have a wonderful relationship and I have a great life, nothing to worry about at all really! So I don't know where this came from and it scares me to death.

It's already leading to more stress, and I am struggling to eat. What should I do?

Would I need to go on any kind of medication, because I would prefer not to but I want/need this to stop just as quickly as it started! Any advice would be so so soo appreciated.

x

[Kainan]

Making some effort to challenge these automatic negative thoughts is the key. It takes mindful and deliberate practice to separate your feelings from your thoughts and to see them for what they really are. And try to substitute more rational thoughts in their place. Ruminating over and over through your thoughts without challenging them will not only make you feel worse, but also leave you feeling trapped. Challenge your thoughts. Don't just buy into them

[kjgirlnz in reply to Kainan]

Hi Kainan_li

Thanks for your reply! What exactly do you mean by 'challenge'?

I've been reading a lot about mindfulness etc. to try and help, and it says to acknowledge the thoughts but not dwell on them because the more I think about them the more they stay put in my mind.

I feel like I go around in circles!

[Kainan in reply to kjgirlnz]

Hi. Yeah that's the general idea. Validating your thoughts and not ruminating on them. What that also means is staying in the moment and focusing on the concrete facts in life and not getting too wrapped up in your interpretation of it, which is not always accurate. Our brain, especially the left side, is masterful at conjuring up stories, good or bad, and we just believe them because we don't check them for their accuracy. Thus, we can feel angry, sad, frustrated, happy...etc at a moments notice. So what I hope you'll be able to do is validate your thoughts and feelings because they are very real, but also try to substitute in more rational thoughts that are more realistic that rely on facts. Because you have the power to decide whether or not to nurture this or to let it go

[kjgirlnz in reply to Kainan]

Thank you so much. This helps me lots