I suffer from extreme anxiety, stress & depression. When I was 16 I woke up in the middle of the light brain fogged, dizzy, lightheaded, very anxious and panicky and had alot of outter body experiences. I thought I was dying so I went to the ER. They classified me as having anxiety/panic attacks. for 2 years I was in and out of the hospital and all they basically could do is DOPE me up on Haldol. Well when I was about 18 1/2 everything just went away. No anxiety/panic attacks or anything it just left up until this year. I am now currently 33.
This year has been Awful. I started a new VERY high stressed job that paid alot of money (Yes money is good but the job came with HIGH stresses which resulted in my Anxiety/panic attacks returning.
I started panicking every single night even having to call my wife home cause I thought I was going to pass out on a nightly basis. this went on for months and I tried controlling them with NO LUCK at all.
after awhile I started getting a lump sensation in my throat a sense of food stuck but nothing was there and everytime I ate the food felt like it was getting stuck and I would make myself through it up. This went on for awhile then that symptom went away and new symptoms came along.
I went to bed obviously stressed out and woke up very lightheaded and this has continued for the last 7 weeks now, I am constantly anxious, lightheaded 24/7, really stressed out & even now have some depression. I feel like my life is currently falling apart & I have 2 kids, a wife, & great paying job but high stress. over the last 3 months its been awful, I lost 2 cars because my performance at work has slipped (my job is performance based the more you do the more you make) I am on the verge of losing my job and everything. My job DOES NOT offer insurance at this moment not until october so seeing Doctors and all the testing I have had done has resulted in me paying upfront which has killed my bank account.
Edit: I failed to mention we had a missed carriage this year that killed me mentally, Always wanted a boy and this was the boy I wanted and he passed.
Every test I have done has come up flawless & I have had every test under the sun even a scope with all bacteria test done such as H.Plyori & SIBO. So now im thinking my stress, anxiety & over all depression has MADE up all these health problems I thought I had.
I am not sure where to turn at this point. I am anxious, stressed, depressed, lightheaded, Chronic mind racing, loss of appetite, Dramatic loss of weight. Always negative thoughts and I cant stop them.
Most places wont prescribe medications unless you go to Classes first which with my high pay I cant get anything reasonable for payments. I dont want counseling I just want to start Medications like Lexapro which I have read amazing things.
I called many doctors but they wont see me unless I can pay upfront after the APT and thats the same way as counseling. I found websites were you can buy Lexapro Generic 5mg, 10mg & 20mg online (escitalopram) but I am scared to self medicate because I now these meds can INCREASE everything.
Where do I go from here? I just really want to feel normal again and my happy self. I went to an herbalist who suggested I start taking a Natural suppliment that really works on anxiety/stress/depression called (Ashwagandha) that I started yesterday. Seems to have HIGH reviews all over the internet that shows it works. its only been 2 days on it so no luck yet but Im not even sure its going to work at all.