Carrying all my hate and anger.

[Dodo777]

I know the muscles in my esophagus tightened so much the cut off food and water from passing down into my

my stomach My surgeon had to force the muscles in my esophagus will a small balloon so yes being stressed will cause physical symptoms. At age 13 on my paper round i remember chewing all the skin off my knuckles. That was because i was beaten bullied and be called names like simpleton idiot bumb and "look at him " my mother would say what wrong now Dai " He's breathing" with such anger in his voice. I was scared to death constantly. I have been told its in the past move on but its made me who I am and people where I live haven't a clue well a few do but living it is different from imagining it. I now live a very lonely hermit like life because i was deliberately broken by a man full of hate. He was one nasty man but I do know his father beat him often. I hate my mother more for not protecting me and knowing his first wife deforced him because he bullied his first son. Ii have learnt to live with it but its obviously a part of me and I do blame my parents for me being so broken.

[Agora1]

Dodo, I have heard of people who because of stress feel the esophagus tightening as if they swallowed a hard boiled egg. I know that your condition is more serious in that it is chronic. Your upbringing certainly played into this problem. Your body must have held all the hurt and emotions in your throat and esophagus. As a child of abuse, it must have been devastating for you not to have anyone to turn to for safety. How sad in that your past has played out your life for you. It has such a hold on you and yet you have learned to live with it which makes you a very strong person in many ways. Keep using meditation, it works.

[Hidden]

Hello Dodo

Just wanted to say I read your post to and cannot add more than Agora has perfectly said to you already but you do have friends on here that care

Take Care x

[greeneyes2]

I care too x