Hard to live my life

I am a 42 yr old mother of 6. My oldest is  27 and my youngest is just 1. I have been married for 19 yrs to a great man. I have dealt with anixety since I can remember. After the birth of my 5th child my anixety just went crazy. I just knew that I was going to die. I had every heart test their was to offer, NOTHING!! I was told norhing was wrong with my heart. I thought all the time i was going to have a heart attack. I was dizzy ,off balance, my life didn't feel real, heart palpations, internal tremors, funny sensations in my head, feel like something was crawling in there. Well with medications and counseling I was able to live normal for a couple of yrs.  Now I feel like I am back to square one. I feel like something is wrong with my heart. I know I have had those test, i want to be able to accept that its anixety and just live, but I always have that...what if? I know if I don't get this under control I will always be running to the doctors and not living. I just need to encouragement. My husband thinks it's all anixety, because I have had all the heart test done, but it was almost 8 yrs ago. He thinks that I should trust that nothing is wrong with my heart and live. But I always think that I am going to die of a heart attack, I am always thinking something bad is about to occur. It's so bad, I can't even take my children to doctors appointment s, because I don't like the sound of those blood pressure machines, so I stand outside and then my heart is racing.  It's hard when no one really understands you, and when you try to express your feelings you get blown off. So I just need some encouragement just to let me know that, I'm ok. I have had the test and I should just trust that and live life.

2 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Wow.... First well done on 6 kids... That takes some lady ... Not to mention 19 years of marriage ... I too am a 42 year old women , who's suffered with anxiety for at least 13 known years... Sometimes it's been so bad I've wondered why I'm still here! Others it's just a whisper in the back of my head that never fully disappears ... I've grown to live with it ... Most of the time , others like when I'm ill or run down or , pmt it comes out ... But I live with it , occasionally it changes form, sends a new symptom just to floor me , again sometimes after a few weeks I realise its anxiety and it was fooling me ... and then I live with it again... I guess what I'm saying is .... I don't believe it ever leaves ... I think we become stronger and accept its the card we've been dealt ... It actually won't beat us and it can't harm us really it's just our own mind playing games dubbing our body into thinking there is something wrong , our mind is strong .. Therefor we can beat anxiety , by learning to let it live in the depths of our mind and not let it take control ... Be strong , take care. 

  • I'm sure its nothing 😊 just take it easy and breathe, anxiety causes unwanted thoughts and I understand it's hard to accept its just anxiety but really it's just the " what ifs" caused my out thoughts, just breathe okay ! 

You may also like...