New here, need a little help.

[AnxiousSince1998]

Hi guys, would just like to introduce myself on here, as I'm pretty scattered at the moment, and may be using this forum for a while.

My name is Jase, Im 38 years old, living in Melbourne, Australia, and have been suffering from GAD, DEPRESSION and PANIC ATTACKS for almost 18 years now.

I have seen many different councillors, psychiatrists and psychologists over the years, who have taught me the basic coping strategies such as mindfulness and CBT, which I still practice today.

I have been through maybe 10 different types of antidepressants over the years, and found lexapro was one of the better ones for me. I had taken 1mg Xanax per day for around 10 years, surprisingly never upped my dosage, but now I'm on 5mg Valium daily as Xanax is banned.

Throughout the years I have noticed myself slowly becoming swallowed up more and more into this anxious loop hole, and in the last 5 or so years, I have developed a condition where I am struggling to hold a simple conversation with anyone. I get extremely tongue tied, dizzy, faint and confused, and have almost a head rush feeling and the need for escape. This has become quite bad in the last year, and it's taking a toll on almost everything I do, ie work, shopping, social life (what's that), and even time with my family can be a struggle.

I spent 3 months weaning myself off 20mg lexapro (5 year daily use), and finally came clean November last year. It was such a hard task to do, and swore to remember the pain I went through before going back on anything.

Since then everything seems to have become worse mentally and physically for me. I am extremely fatigued and achey almost everyday, feel useless and scared of the future. I'm still working in freelance tv/film stuff, which is quite physical, but there are many days where I am just hanging by a thread....

Some of my daily symptoms include; breathlessness, racing heart, nausea, palpitations in throat, sweats, hot/cold rushes, dizziness, sensitivity to lights, especially led or fluro type, racing thoughts like I'm about to 'lose it', tightness in my head and near my temples, jaw locking up, dull left arm and left rib area, feeling vague/cloudy, fearing social situations - just the thought gives me a cold rush, lethargic, confusion, sadness, scared, guilty, stiff neck, shoulders and back, tiredness.

I find writing down my symptoms in my phone helps when I'm out and about or at work, then will put it all in my diary, as I have done for many years now.

So, there is my basic story, and hopefully someone on here can relate. I'm open to any help or advice anyone may have. Cheers for reading, Jase.

[Aazz]

Hi there I'm from Melbourne too! I'm sorry you are going through this as you have stated you have gone down the medication and therapy route? Have you tried Hypnotherapy, naturopath, yoga, meditation, exercise, diet? I have recently read a book called Dare by Barry McDonagh it's helped me tremendously look into it. I hope you find an answer :))

[hollisnicola in reply to Aazz]

Yoga and meditation...diet and b12 work.....

[AnxiousSince1998 in reply to Aazz]

Cheers mate, I'll check out this book. I've just finished reading power over panic by Bronwyn Fox. I did see a natural healer early Feb, who did some reiki, and other spiritual stuff. I do try and meditate, find it really hard to switch off sometimes though. I listen to meditation music before bed which helps me sleep. 

[hollisnicola]

Hi jase...this forum is really good for support and there are people all over the world on here with these conditions...we all fight it together...I have suffered many years at the hand of anxiety and the packages it brings...but I'm also one who doesn't fear it any more and have over the last few years found  me again...don't get me wrong syptoms can surface but I don't dwell or fear it anymore...only then does it start to loose it's grip...if you want anyone to chat too...please don't hesitate...everyone on here will help...

[AnxiousSince1998 in reply to hollisnicola]

Thank you for your kind words. Hopefully I can find myself again one day and be able to just let go of this fear that constantly sits on my shoulders. 

[Agora1]

Hi Jase:  I was put on 0.25mg of Xanax for 30 years and it wasn't until 5 years ago that I actually went through withdrawal symptoms while still on it.  It was no longer effective

and I was dependent on it.  I was put on different benzos which didn't work, nothing

compared to Xanax.  So I decided to wean myself off the drug w/the help of my doctor.

It took me 2 years coming down slowly substituting valium as I came off Xanax and then weaned off valium.  I am now still on 15mg Lexapro and know that will be the last

challenge of psychotropic drugs to get off.   Like you I have the same body symptoms

and live in free floating anxiety daily.  It is wearing and I'm tired of it.  I will say not much

phases me anymore, I'm usually able to recognize what is causing my symptoms and how

to deal with it.   I wish you well.  Thanks for sharing an all too familiar life of anxiety. 

[AnxiousSince1998 in reply to Agora1]

Sorry to hear your battle with the meds. Please go sloooooow with lexapro, as I am still getting occasional jolts/zaps and have been off it for almost 5 months. My mistake was the last phase 5mg to nothing. I should have done at least 2 weeks on 2.5mg, and possibly even halving that. 

[Agora1 in reply to AnxiousSince1998]

Thank you....High Five in getting off your med.  Slow is the only

way to go. 

[Lizbett]

Hi Jase and welcome!  Good to see another Aussie here ... I'm in New South Wales  ☺

Thank you for sharing your story. It's a story that soooo many of us here can relate to.

Please do post here whenever you need to k? You'll find this forum is populated by a wonderful bunch of caring folks who sincerely DO care about people who suffer from this dreadful thing called panic/anxiety. I sincerely wouldn't wish this particular health issue on ANYone, I really wouldn't, so here I am, helping and being helped through something that there's no price on. That something is 'support'.

Cheers.

[AnxiousSince1998 in reply to Lizbett]

Thank you for your kind words. Your right, this is a wonderful forum, and I will try to help out others wherever I can.

 Cheers, Jase.