Hey everyone, hope your nights/mornings are all well. I was thinking of a way to help this community that I appreciate so much. You all no matter how bad you feel yourselves, will forget it all to help someone who is feeling bad just like you. My thought is this, personally I've had a really hard time explaining my anxiety and how it affects me directly on a personal/spiritual level, you all share what your anxiety is like and how it affects you, what you do to overcome it. I feel like it's a good thing to get it out in the open, and if you feel good now writing, perhaps you can look back on what you wrote and it can help you out of the slump. I'm not 100% sure that this will be effective, but I'm willing to try if you are!
I'll go first!
My anxiety starts when i start to think about my heart, my throat, my stomach, head, and such. The reason it starts when I think about those things is because when, let's say, my stomach growls I get a little frantic and ask myself,"What was that? Was that normal? Am I just hungry, or is it something worse!?" Crazy crazy thoughts like that. My big one is my heart though, I'm constantly checking my pulse, and now I've gone so far as to buy a fitbit to monitor it, so now I'm looking at my wrist all the time lol. I don't know if what I'm looking at is normal or irregular. If my heart is beating too slow, or too fast. Can it handle exercise? My mind simply starts running and running, if I don't catch it I will have a panic attack. My worst fear in life is dying and leaving the people I love behind, mainly my family. Accepting the fact that I probably do have anxiety and it's nothing more is still something that i go through every day. I always doubt it, and start thinking I'm terminally ill and that my life is just going to end abruptly after my chest flutters, or after a chest pain. I wish I could say that I'm done going into the doctors, but I'm not, when my insurance comes on in April I will be in to get checked out again haha. What I've noticed though, is if I do accept that it's anxiety messing with me I have a really good day! Albeit the next day is usually not a good one, but I'll take one good one and one bad. It feels good to feel normal every once in a while. My anxiety has even changed, I used to be worried that my heart rate was way too fast, now I'm worried it's far too slow because of how relaxed I make myself. So, I propose you all (i know it's hard, I have anxiety too:)) to challenge your minds to be positive, look at the bright side of your day, the fact that you woke up, the fact that you have food, a house, a job, and a family that loves you. Bask in the glory that is your life, and attempt to be almost disgustingly positive so much that you are literally forcing it. I bet when you look back on your day you'll realize you had the best day that you've had in a long time.
Feel free to share your anxieties please! Let it out, it's not fair to hold it in, don't worry about how long the posts are just let it loose! We all hold far too much in. I love you all, and God Bless.
EDIT: I don't take medication for anxiety, and I've also spent the better part of the past three months in my bed due to anxiety. (I'm making baby steps to be back to normal though )