Does anyone know if derealization ever goes away?

After almost 4 years I worked up the courage to ask my therapist if my derealization would ever go away and she kind of dodged the question. I've had other people in forums tell me they've had it for 20+ years. One therapist told me it was because I smoked weed in high school and after heavy smoking some people felt high for the rest of their lives. I can't take this feeling. It's the cause of all of my anxiety. I used to love life and never ever ever be stressed or anxious. I went out every day. I had so many friends that sometimes I couldn't get around to seeing them all in a week. I used to love to go for long walks by myself and think and just be in the sun and take everything in. I loved staying up all night out with my friends and getting breakfast at 4:30 a.m. and just being young and having fun. I loved going to parties that my family threw.

Now nothing feels real. Walking outside is too much for me and I get disoriented, confused and dizzy. Over the past three years I've lost most of my friends. My family doesn't really bother with me anymore. Everyone gave up on me. And I just feel numb to everything. All of my senses are so dull. I can barely watch movies or TV shows without getting anxious and confused. My vision is weird and dreamlike. I don't have a job and I don't go to school. I'm 20 years old. All I have left now is my boyfriend but our relationship is nothing like it used to be. He basically has to take care of me. Sometimes being around him scares me because I feel like I don't recognize him. Sometimes I can't even feel love.

I've tried so many medications and I've been in therapy for a long time. I've tried just ignoring it. I've tried eating healthier. Nothing works. I feel like my life is over. Some days my derealization is so bad I think I'm going to die from it or just disappear and some days I seriously wish I would. This is no life. I used to be such a happy person and now I have nothing. I'm never happy. I'm always just waiting for it to go away. I feel so so sad. I've cried about it so much that I can't cry anymore. It just isn't fair. I wish there was just a "cure" or something. Or medication specifically for derealization instead of just anxiety and depression. It seems like no doctor knows anything about it and no research is ever going to be done. I can't believe I ended up like this. I think I'm going to be stuck like this forever.

I don't even remember what it feels like to feel real.

4 Replies

  • Hi. I feel exactly the same and then i get so scared that I am going to die. I do find it does go away for a while but you have to try not think about it because as soon as you do it comes back.

  • I totally agree with that, mine goes away sometimes but as soon as I think about it, it comes back.

  • Me too as soon as I think about it it comes back. The trick is to let it be there and not care about it just tell it that it can hang out with you and tell it to be as strong as it possibly can be go towards it with excitement. You need to not care that it's there and it will go away trust me this is thevwaybto get rid of it plus make sure you keep working on your anxiety as this is what keeps it there. Distraction is important too.

  • Hi, Im really sorry you are feeling like this. I had this feeling for 2 years, My daughter said i drove her crazy as i used to follow her around the house and my mind did not feel with it at all.It is scary. Have you seen a psychiatrict, this was the only way i got better. He told me i had been on all of the wrong meds and put me on fluoxtine 40mg once a day, after 3 weeks i started feeling normal, still stressed but wasn't in a dream like state. If you feel like you are not getting the help and support you need change drs, i had to change 3 times before i had the support i needed.

    I hope you feel better soon. do try to keep your mind busy, i know its hard but when you stop dong things your mind does starting to forget. i even couldnt remember how to put an ironing board down.

    look after yourself. x

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