Where to begin? I was a fairly adjusted university student. I have had bouts of depression and anxiety when I was younger but nothing for some time. One day on a plane ride to Greece for vacation, I experienced what I can only describe as the worst migraine of my life (up to date). Expelling from both ends and pain that even 3 advils and 2 tylenols couldn't manage. Upon landing I thought a good night's rest would do the trick, but alas I awoke with a slightly less intense version. This destructive migraine was with me from morning until night, and lasted for nearly 4 years. I had seen dozens of specialists, had MRI's, taken tons of medications, and nothing seemed to even alleviate my pain and nausea. At last, 4 years later, I began to notice I'd wake up without a migraine. It would return in the afternoon but at least for 4 or so hours, I had relief. Not one person in my family could relate to what I was going through. Here I was thinking there was nothing worse than all the pain I was going through or the uselessness I felt since I could barely leave the house, but I found something much worse; Family and friends who start to distance themselves, who make you feel like a burden. Nothing in this world hurts more than your mom telling you to stop complaining and get over it, while an hour earlier you were praying to god puking your guts out. I began to smoke weed again, something I hadn't done since a few years earlier, and it helped a lot. My pain reduced a bit, the overall attacks diminished, and there were even days where no migraine or nausea would affect me. It was at this point that I finally got to see a migraine specialist. The wait time for these appointments is about 3 years. He sent me to do a few tests, all negative, and he said he thinks it's anxiety. How do I fight anxiety I asked. He said to exercise regularly and eat well and breathe. Isn't that something? 4 years after all this starts, a doctor who specializes in the field is basically telling me he has no idea what the problem is, probably stress, and to just eat right and exercise...Needless to say I had already been doing yoga and eating well and exercising so his advice was not very helpful. On top of this he said that we don't really understand the brain and that my migraine triggers could be anything and everything. It's been now almost 7 years and I'm still suffering from this debilitating condition. I sometimes get breaks of almost 5 days, which is amazing, but the last week has been all day every day pain. I am very tired. Of course physically I'm drained as anyone who suffers from migraines understands, but I get cluster headaches and so my tiredness is well I describe it as road kill still breathing. I came here to find people like me and hopefully see if anyone has any answers. Alas I found myself crying non stop as I'd read stories of people who suffer just like me and who also haven't found any answers. I'm just so tired of feeling this way, and I can't believe that a migraine specialist couldn't help me at all. I looked it up just to make sure and he was telling the truth. As I read stories here, it further confirms it. People are literally scrapping by trying to live normal lives in constant pain, and there are nearly no treatment centers for it. Tons of "dealing with chronic pain" but no cures. Do I have to live all my life like this as it seems? Is there a place I can go to find help? Can anxiety really do this to me without me even knowing what I'm anxious about? Do I have to crawl through life waiting and hoping for a bus to hit me? I'm just really very tired of all this, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
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