I've just joined this community and hope to be able to both give and receive support! I'm 49, female, single Mum to 2 teens ( boy 18, girl 16) and I work part time as a learning support teacher.
I've had episodes of anxiety/ depression several times in my life; looking back,some were when I was very young( like 4 or something), when I used to describe it as "throat ache "...
I had postnatal depression after both kids ( was in hospital first time round) and my last major anxiety / depression episode was when I had breast cancer in 2009. I was on Duloxeteine (?) following that, and finally came off it at the beginning of 2015. All was well until the start of August, when I started waking early with a feeling of unease.
After a few days of trying to ignore it, I went to GP and was put back on the same med. 4 weeks on the low dose made no difference, so he upped it to the maximum dose. Still no difference...
His decision then was to try a tri-cyclic ( clomipramine), having first established that I'd taken them before with no ill effect.
I've now been on this for 2 weeks and it seems to be making my anxiety worse, although I do feel a bit less depressed. I wake up at 3-5am, can't get back to sleep and feel so sick and anxious. I've not had a single day off work and have tried to do every thing I would do when I'm well so as not to worry my kids. I actually feel better when I'm teaching or helping someone...
However, when I have time to relax or nothing to occupy my brain,I just start feeling anxious, like I need the loo all the time, jelly legs, light-headed and unreal. I also feel like everything is "too real " and at the same time, unreal.. this includes myself. I start obsessively ruminating on existential questions, even though I know there are answers, and end up feeling terrified.
The meds don't seem to be working. I'm back to the doctors on Friday and am not sure what to say. I am so sick of this and just want to be normal and enjoy life
So much more to say, but I've gone on way too much as it is...Hoping someone can relate??!