Knots in stomach

[Veeh]

Hi everyone,

I've never been diagnosed with anxiety but recognise the symptoms of it and have been suffering with it for about a year.

However lately I've been getting intrusive thoughts based on my relationship (which is happy) - where I keep getting thoughts that I don't love my other half etc - even though I know they're not true. Most of the time they'll go after I tell my boyfriend and he'll shower me with love, but for the past few days, I keep getting knots in my stomach whenever I think about us. It makes me uncomfortable and upset because I can't pinpoint the thought or feeling it's linked too - it always seems to stem back to these intrusive thoughts and I don't know how to explain it to my boyfriend without upsetting him.

Please understand my boyfriend is loving and our relationship is very happy. I feel like my anxiety is stemming from the fact my father was never committed to any relationship - there is virtually none with me and he has just cheated on my step mum of 10 years. I worry that I'll turn out like him or that I'll fall out of love with my boyfriend. I just want these feelings to stop but I'm at a loss of what to do now I'm getting these knots in my stomach

[AlexaLee7811]

Hey Veeh,

I actually get the exact same feelings! Yet my mind likes to jump to the worse conclusion too. My biggest thing is I am still figuring out where it is coming from. My parents got divorced when I was young but I knew it was going to happen before it did and I never saw a healthy or secure relationship. I was always second guessing myself in relationships and loved the bad boy type and then I found a great relationship with my ex ( or so I thought). He was great to me don't get me wrong he never abused me physically but at times mentally put me down. But my anxiety came around September and it really affected me badly because first I did not know I had anxiety like that ( so it is REALLY great you notice it is anxiety) secondly I got help but it was a bit late when I did that. I was so miserable I was having so many pains and my mind would race and whenever I would just think of my boyfriend and my anxiety would get so so high that I thought I had to end it to make it go away (but it won't it will come back with every relationship). I am in a WONDERFUL relationship right now with a man I could find no wrongs with and treats me and respects me so incredibly well. I love him with all my heart but one morning I woke up and BOOM my stomach was in knots so I geared my thoughts to my boyfriend who would always make me excited or calm me thinking of him but it made it worse and thats when I realized my anxiety was back (same exact time in september end of septmeber early october). biggest advice I can give you is don't leave him. It is anxiety they are just thoughts in your mind...your true feelings come from your actions around him. You kissing him you holding him you going out of your way to do things for him. Thats where it comes from. The anxiety when it comes up yes talk to him about it but don't overwhelm him with it it might drive him away at times ( i relied WAY too much on my ex to make me feel better when I needed to be strong on my own) We cannot rely on others for our own strengths. Biggest thing is to say F you anxiety this is MY life MY world MY only life I have and I am going to live it being happy and with the one I love. It will be hard it will take time you will have good and bad days but don't give up. Some days you will feel like you want to but in the end you will regret what you did. You know you love him as I know I love my boyfriend too. When my anxiety is low I feel it everywhere and I feel like he is the one for me. But when my anxiety is up I just question everything. Do i love him? Do i not? Why am i not over the moon excited to see him like our first date. But that also happens when its the transition from honeymoon to real life relationships is that you know that stupid butterfly feeling won't ALWAYS be there. I still get it but it will be random..like if he texts me or he says something sweet I get it but besides that it is more of a comfort you will have with your boyfriend. Don't give up though thats what your anxiety wants is to control you and have you listen to it but don't let it! wake up every morning saying I WILL have a good day. Think of your boyfirend smile and go on with your day! You don't NEED to think of him 24/7 or be with him 24/7! I have been dating my boyfriend a year and we still don't see each other 24/7 or text 24/7 we text maybe once a day to see how the other is so we still have our own time which is why i am stronger this round and will NOT lose him. You got this and i am here to talk and help if you need advice

[4it2makecents in reply to AlexaLee7811]

Thank you! Dating is new to me and this helped with my current situation.