Battling a nasty Demon

Hi there, justwanted to try and find other people in my situation, experiancing the same horrible feelings i do every day here's a bit of background.

i live in a damp property with my 3 year old and my husband my boys mean the world to me and without them i'd have fallen ill a long time ago... our landlord and the local council know about the damp situation but arent doing anything to help us its been going on for 2 years now, that with other personal problems i have been under so much stress and now iv'e ended up like this which i woudnt wish on my worst enemy..

I think it all started around 2/3 months ago i don't know why or what set it off but every time i went to bed in my head i kept thinking im going to die it became so unbareable i went to the drs who prescribed me fluoxetine. I started taking these but after just two days i had major side affects on the 3rd day i woke up and was fine for the first 5 mins but then i started to feel really light headed and wierd like i was going to faint in my head i thought this is it im going to die, i was screaming at my husband to help me i just felt so unwell, i splashed my face with water and kept pacing up and down the flat then i rang my mum who helped me calmed down it was one of the scariest moments of my life and it really shook me up. i contacted the dr and was advised to stop taking them so i did.....

The thoughts of "im going to die" when i go to bed have stopped however now in replace of them i have i cant breath, i cant catch my breath ,my throat feels so tight all the time i get really cold then when im having a panic attack i get really hot i get the whole hyperventilating breathing and tightness feeling along with feeling really light headed... it's such a big fear of mine now i hate these thoughts and feelings i don't want to die have no suicidal thoughts but i keep thinking im going to die =/

i do have a goitre in my throat which was picked up around a year ago apart from the appearence it didnt cause me much problems ive had scans, blood tests and lung function tests all come back clear this should give me some comfort but it doesn't. when im stressed/anxious it feels like my goitre is strangling me it's so scary . evenings are the worst time for me i litrally dread going to bed but my body is so tired but i always end up having panic attacks before bed its horrible i always feel like i cant breath and i don't end up going to sleep untill about 3am/4am everynight even though im in bed way before that. im 26 a mum and a wife my little boy is only 3 and ive panic attacks in front of him i just cant seem to control them, my poor husband is worried out of his mind and ends up getting up with me in the night which has major affects for him as he works 5 time a week so i thought maybe coming on here talking to others in a similar or same situation may help me and take the pressure of my husband. i have spoken to the drs btw and they want me to have more pills including sleeping pills but after my experiance with fluxotine i refuse to take any more meds.

Please reply

Much appreciaton a very anxious 26yr old xx

3 Replies

  • I had the exact same reaction to you with the medication and now I am terrified to try them again, there is a 2 week adjustment period and usually you would take a benzo (Valium type medication) to get you through the side effects it takes about 6 weeks for the medication to start working, however I found it unbearable.

    What is your routine before bed? Maybe you should try watching funny videos on YouTube like stand up comedy or candid camera just to make you laugh and lift you up a bit before bed, if you can think of any activity like that that will get your mind of things even if you and your husband played a game like cards or something in bed together, I know it sound childish but anything lighthearted that will lift your spirits a bit before bed.

    Now that you have this disorder you will need to take other steps to control it, seeing a therapist would be a good idea, include some exercise if you can, meditation, breathing exercises 3 times a day especially since you hyperventilate and some yoga. Try to stay away from caffeine and cut down sugary foods also eat regularly as anxiety burns up a lot of energy and your blood sugar levels drop quicker which can cause anxiety and panic attacks.

    It will get better I have struggled for 11 months now and I am much better then when it all started I couldn't shower or get out of bed and my husband had to take time off work, but now I can function normally however I still do have anxiety and lots of symptoms but I'm getting there.

    Good luck and I hope you get some relief soon :)

  • If you won't take any medication you will not really get any better..

    All anxiety / depression medications have side effects. All of them. Some you can tolerate, some you might find to be alarming. In almost all cases these side effects don't last long anyway.

    The thing is your anxiety / depression is a result of all the stresses and your brain is currently working on an imbalance of chemicals that helps to regulate your moods. Once you start to treat the chemical imbalance you WILL start to feel some side effects.

    That lightheaded feeling is absolutely normal and if you try to rationalise it; why should you die if you feel light headed? You won't. It was ONLY a feeling of light headedness because the drug was starting to work.

    See your doctor and look at getting some other medication started.

  • Bless you, it really does sound like your having full blown anxiety attacks , you need to try and break the fear panic cycle, medication can work just takes a while to get in the system , read up about anxiety and its symptoms this may help you to know it's just that. You're not alone ! All the best .

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