panic attacks

I suffer from panic disorder && anxiety, started taking citalopram 3 years ago && was doing great.stopped it twice cause of insurance problems then the 3rd time he put me on 40mg after being off for 3 months.I went crazy,panic attacks everyday all day thought I was going crazy literally.became suicidal so stopped after 4 days.went to a psych ward for 3 days cause I thought I was gonna hurt myself.they switched me to Zoloft.started feeling just a tad better but after 4 weeks the panic attacks started again.tried numerous benzos to calm me down they actually made me my psychiatrist who literally is the worst ever just told me to stop the Zoloft no weening or anything.switched me to lexapro.3 days && I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster super depressed && kinda suicidal to extremely anxious and panicy to literally not caring about anything within hours of each other .nothing is helping been on buspar and seroquel for 2 months.keep getting wierd side effects like numbness in my head and back too.I literally feel like I'm losing my mind like its just gonna stop working.I also have a daughter who is my whole world haven't been able to take care of her in almost 2 months my mother && her father have had too.I just wanna feel normal like I did a few months ago.did I screw my brain forever I don't know whether to sign myself back in to the psych ward or not but being stuck in somewhere again scares the crap out of me but I feel like the doctors airnt helping I don't know whether to give the lexapro a few more weeks or just let my daughters father get custody and sign myself in forever.I need help.sorry this is so long.


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12 Replies

  • You sound exactly like me 10 years ago. I had been on Paxil for 3 years and out of the blue it just stopped working. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown, thought I was going crazy. My daughter was 4 at the time and I couldnt even function properly to take care of her. This lasted for about 2 or 3 months. I finally found a dr who was willing to take their time and listen to me and help me get better. I tried about 5 different meds until I found one that actually worked. It took about 3 weeks to work but thankfully it did. I still have my ups and down but nothing as bad as those few months. There is hope and you will feel better. Dont give up. I hope you feel better soon.

  • I'm crying right now.I have been on the internet since it started just looking to see if anyone felt the same so far nothing your the only one, everyday I think I'm having a nervous breakdown && they are gonna lock me up forever.I've been to 2 doctors && neither one will listen enough to help.they wouldn't even call me back when I get suicidal. I have no insurance so I'm limited to the clinics.I just want someone to help.I can't keep feeling like this.I can't even be alone with my own daughter.I've never felt this bad in my life.thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone.I feel like no one around me understands.they just keep telling me I need to make myself more mentally stable on my own

  • You are definitely not alone. I remember feeling like the anxiety, panic attacks, and horrible thoughts were never going to end. I didnt have insurance either at the time which made my anxiety worse. Im not sure what state you are in, but I live in GA which luckily have local mental health centers all around. And because I didnt have indurance I only had to pay $10 a week for my therapist sessions as well as my meds. This will get better I promise you. I also use to look up ways to cope with anxiety and depression myself. I kept a diary of how I felt every day especially during the time I was trying all the diff meds. This way I could see if I was making any process. I still take 2 diff meds to this day. I dont think I could function without them.

  • were close I live in va what meds are you on now?

  • Im on paxil and klonopin now. During my breakdown time I tried several diff meds...zoloft seemed to do the trick after 3 weeks, but unfortunately around 2011 it stopped working for me. I went back to the paxil and luckily it worked again because I was starting to feel as if I was slipping back into a breakdown again. Are you on anything now?

  • I tried klonopin it made me worse every benzo has which is weird cause a couple months ago before all this started I took a valium like once a month for when the anxiety would get to me && a half of a 5mg would calm me immediately down but sense this started I can't take anything that helps I went to the hospital && they gave me ativan && my heart rate shot up to 150 Zoloft made me feel real weird but the anxiety was starting to go down then after 4 weeks on it everything got real bad again so now I'm on lexapro I think my anxietys just so bad I get a new side effect everyday.I feel like I'm literally going nuts.I've only been on lexapro for 3 days but idk if I have another couple weeks to let it work

  • My body reacts diff as well. I may be able to take a med one time then try it again another time but my body reacts diff each time. The dr started me out with xanex but it didnt help at all. Just made me feel wierd then when it wore off my anxiety was 10 times worse. Zoloft made me feel funny the first couple of weeks as well. My brain felt foggy. Thank god eventually it worked. I have not tried lexapro but know someone who has and they love it. She said it has made her feel 100% better. Her anxiety was so bad she couldnt leave her house and now she is always out. Thats the only downfall, you have to wait weeks to see if the meds will work and in the meantime you feel horrible.

  • yes I hate it they need a magic pill!

  • I agree!!! Just keep telling yourself this is only temporary. Trust me I know how hard it is to keep a positive mind frame and its hard to think you will ever feel better again...but you will! You will make it through this and feel normal again...this is only temporary.

  • that's what I keep telling myself but I can't quite believe it yet, hopefully soon

  • Oh you poor thing. I have been in citalopram for a while now. I always take mine at night time as it helps with the side effects. I also built up slowly and had diazepam to help with the side effects for two weeks. My doctor was really good and saw me regularly.

    Don't give up. Please know that you will feel better in time, you will enjoy your daughter again. Ask your doctor is there is anything he can do to help you while your body adjusts to the medication. It sometimes can take up to six weeks for it to work. Just hold on in there.

    I am so glad you have your mum and dad to help, you definitely need support when you feel this way.

    I tried coming off medication a few times but kept suffering with panic attacks and constant anxiety, but in the end I have gone onto citalopram and I will stay on it as long as it is safe for me to do so. My doctor said these are ok to stay on long term, and I am definitely not going to give them up without a fight. I need them to be able to live. Trying to do without them is silly...... if you had a heart condition you wouldnt stop taking the medication would you. I considering anxiety and panic disorder to be the same as any other life threatening illness.

    Keep on in there and talk to your doctor. Don't run back to the hospital, you can do this and you will LIVE again. I felt like you once but now I hold down a full time job, and do lots of things I never thought I would,

    Good luck. xx

  • it won't let me comment back to you

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