Sometimes I feel detached from my body , I feel real but everything is spaced out as if I'm natural high. AlwayS worried about small things. My eye could be watering& I would have to Google why before I could go on doing something else. Before going to bed I could be thinking about birds. Then next I could be talking to myself about weird things. Been to the emergency room several times everything has came back fine. Been to a metal heath doc once when I was 14 (4 years ago) told me I was bipolar. I still tend to have mood swings . I'm happy and could be mad a second later. I can't even have sex with my boyfriend because I either feel to weak or not in the mood. I tend to get these weird feelings out of the blue . I can't eat some foods cause I feel as if I will die...a few months back i would get these weird feelings as if all my blood rushed to my head and just realised it self threw my body I would feel beyond weird went the the emergency room. The lady was very rude said she had no idea what I was talking about and asked if i was on drugs. (Witch I do not do any drugs at all not smoke ciggerats or drink caffeine) . Did some research and found out it could have been adrenalin rush caused by stress. It happens twice in one day before. I honestly started to have all those feelings after i had smoked marijuana (Witch i haven't in about 6 months) I smoked ones when I was 14 and freaked out and was hearing things/seeing things. Never touched marijuana again tell recently when 5 to 6 months ago . Had a panic attack while high heart rate was going fast as it was the first time I had smoked. Boyfriendlayed me on the floor and but my feet up to the wall to lower my heart rate. I eventually came down for the feeling and told him how weird I felt. After that I have been feeling weird. It's not as bad as the 3 months after that . It has slowed down a lot more. People tel me I'm dumb because weed can't hurtme.. and so on. I don't feel sad or nothing that they say this I just feel like if I'm just the crazy one and It's all in my head? Recently moved back with my mom she has told me her mom schizophrenic and currently in an institution . anxiety runs threw are family she said but we all feel the anxiety differen.She relates to a lot of the feelings i have and drinks alcohol to cope with it same as my dad. I feel like I'm to young to be feeling this way at 17 and scared what could happen next. I want my life back can any one relate or am I just crazy.
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