CAN You Relate ?

[Collins1998]

Sometimes I feel detached from my body , I feel real but everything is spaced out as if I'm natural high. AlwayS worried about small things. My eye could be watering& I would have to Google why before I could go on doing something else. Before going to bed I could be thinking about birds. Then next I could be talking to myself about weird things. Been to the emergency room several times everything has came back fine. Been to a metal heath doc once when I was 14 (4 years ago) told me I was bipolar. I still tend to have mood swings . I'm happy and could be mad a second later. I can't even have sex with my boyfriend because I either feel to weak or not in the mood. I tend to get these weird feelings out of the blue . I can't eat some foods cause I feel as if I will die...a few months back i would get these weird feelings as if all my blood rushed to my head and just realised it self threw my body I would feel beyond weird went the the emergency room. The lady was very rude said she had no idea what I was talking about and asked if i was on drugs. (Witch I do not do any drugs at all not smoke ciggerats or drink caffeine) . Did some research and found out it could have been adrenalin rush caused by stress. It happens twice in one day before. I honestly started to have all those feelings after i had smoked marijuana (Witch i haven't in about 6 months) I smoked ones when I was 14 and freaked out and was hearing things/seeing things. Never touched marijuana again tell recently when 5 to 6 months ago . Had a panic attack while high heart rate was going fast as it was the first time I had smoked. Boyfriendlayed me on the floor and but my feet up to the wall to lower my heart rate. I eventually came down for the feeling and told him how weird I felt. After that I have been feeling weird. It's not as bad as the 3 months after that . It has slowed down a lot more. People tel me I'm dumb because weed can't hurtme.. and so on. I don't feel sad or nothing that they say this I just feel like if I'm just the crazy one and It's all in my head? Recently moved back with my mom she has told me her mom schizophrenic and currently in an institution . anxiety runs threw are family she said but we all feel the anxiety differen.She relates to a lot of the feelings i have and drinks alcohol to cope with it same as my dad. I feel like I'm to young to be feeling this way at 17 and scared what could happen next. I want my life back can any one relate or am I just crazy.

[Moshatedtabuu]

What you're describing is what most people deal with time to time, who suffer from Anxiety " Depersonalization or Derealization "

I suffer from the second one myself, and it can drive you insane if you feed into the negative thoughts, no you're not crazy because I know exactly how you feel, it trips me out pretty bad sometimes and I hate it because the negative thoughts literally come from nowhere out of nowhere and cause you to trip out over shit that usually wouldn't bother you or stuff you wouldn't even notice,

I hope you feel better,

- Tabuu

[Collins1998 in reply to Moshatedtabuu]

Thank you so much ! And about you trying to sleep but you can't cause twitch try sleeping on your stomach it helps me when I feel those feelings before I go to sleep. Tell yourself your okay and don't try to think about the twitching feelings! You can do this get some rest!

[Moshatedtabuu in reply to Collins1998]

Also I smoke time to time (Weed obviously)

I sometimes have bad highs , but sometimes the come down makes me able to fall asleep well,

The derealization and depersonalization can occur the most while under the influence because the brain is more aware that you are under an altered state of thinking, some people can handle it, some can't,

I'm 21 and have done a lot in these few years, I might stop smoking for a while myself just to see the difference in anxiety levels because I'm dealing with sleep anxiety myself right now and it's driving me crazy,

I know what you mean about being too young to be dealing with stuff like this because I feel like i should be at least 30 before shit like this starts happening, I just wanna fall asleep :/

I'll try what you said, but the best thing for derealization is "focus on the moment, live in the moment and not in your head"

anxiety overall is a silent killer and as long as we're all supportive of each other we can make it

[Collins1998 in reply to Moshatedtabuu]

You are the best I swear. ! Thanks so much. I'm going to get some rest as well .I like the fact that there are people out there who can relate to the way I feel . I don't believe in medications . I feel the need to get rid of it naturally! You have been a good helper thanks lots I needed some information about it because I wasn't sure.If I was the only one

[panicker]

Just another person who can feel as weird as me, and is about to have a nervous breakdown.

Please don't take me as a retard if you see me happy after knowing your state. Well I am happy because, I am glad to see a person having to deal with the same shit. So many things I can relate to. I know exactly what you mean when you say, "I feel detached from my body".

Your watering eyes are just replaced by my heavy head, that's the only thing different. I have just somehow learnt to live with this shit, and am trying to be back to the world. But I know I will never be able to connect back. Like the plastic coating on a pack of cigi, once out, never goes quite in the way it was earlier.

And my thoughts, holy lord, are as sporadic as a jumping antler. I just can't keep my mind in a straight line. I was never into drugs nor weed, but once i tried it, and it was a dark trip. I never was able to collect myself up post then to even sniff that thing again. Trust me, YOU'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING CRAZY. You are beyond the point of convincing yourself that you are though. Just don't make it hard for yourself, don't feed negeative thoughts as my brother tabuu rightly said....

Feel free to get along with people around here. Feel free to talk. Glad to have another sporadic mind around me.

Hope that helps

PEACE