Hey Guys,
So I literally haven't logged into this site for easily 8 months. Today I thought, would be a great day to share my story, and hopefully I can help others who are dealing with Anxiety and Panic Attacks.
It started when I was 19, I had moved in with my then partner, however nothing was as I had always imagined it would be. We fought... CONSTANTLY! Due to things being so horrible between us, I began hiding in my house. I gave up all my friends because he did not approve of them, I barely saw my family due to them not approving of him. So my world had become a guy who deep down did not want me. My life consisted of waking up, eating, cleaning, going to spend time with his family, doing what he wanted with his friends, fighting and sleeping...
Definitely not the life a young woman should be leading.
night, I guess my mind could not take the stress anymore. We were out in the middle of nowhere, I pulled the car over and had my first Panic Attack.
I felt as if I were high, my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, I was absolutely petrified.
My partner raced me home and I tried desperately to contact my mother. With no success, my partner raced me to the hospital where I sobbed to the nurse as she checked my obs.
When she explained I had had a panic attack, I was gobsmacked. I could not believe it. Why had this happened to me?
I went home and got a good nights sleep, hoping that was all I needed.
How wrong I was... that Panic Attack was the first, in a looong line of Attacks to come. From that night on I had multiple Panic Attacks a day, I could not, would not, leave my house. I became severely depressed, not leaving my bed. Things only got worse in my relationship. He couldn't understand what I was going through. We only fought more and more, until one night we couldn't take it anymore. We had a really bad break-up (I won't go into detail).
This was the beginning of my amazing journey!
I went to the doctor and sought the help I so desperately needed, medication. I got my relationships with my family back on track.
For the first few months it was still hard, dealing with a break-up as well as fighting the Panic Attacks, was so incredibly hard. I lost around 20 kilo's in a matter of months, I slowly began to get in touch with old friends. However the Anxiety still ruled my life. At first the medication was great, no Panic Attacks!
But that was short lived. It was then that I realised, medication was not the answer. It was a temporary solution, it was there to help. I was the only one who could get myself out of this dark hole I was in.
I went back to work, a few days a week. I mostly kept to myself, although I had a few friends I would see. For a while there I was really good, I even went to the pub a few times!
I was beginning to push my limits, for the first time in a long time I felt kind of free.
Again that was short lived when the company I was working for closed and I could not find another job. I spent my days pretending I was fine and my nights tucked up in bed crying, wondering if I would ever over-come this.
Things went from bad to worse, when the people I thought were my friends betrayed me. I was left with 2 good friends, but, at least I knew I could trust them!
At 21, I finally got offered a new job! I could not have been happier, I was so proud.
I only worked a couple of hours a day but that was enough for me, while I was still dealing with Anxiety, at this point I was still having the occasional Panic Attack, I even had a couple while I was at work.
I began seeing a councillor, I was so nervous as he was a male. However, he turned out to be one of the best! He helped me tremendously, he would give me little tasks, such as; spend 20 minutes in the supermarket or go for a night time drive, both I was super anxious about. However I did it, I actually forced myself to do something which made me extremely uncomfortable. He believed in me, which gave me the power to believe in myself. Slowly I began pushing my boundaries more and more. The more I did, the more I realised that the Anxiety really was all in my head. All these years I had put my life on hold, I had spent my days in bed crying, when all I had to do was get up and live!
Yes I realise I made that sound way too simple, but the truth is, it really is that simple!
All you have to do is make the choice to take your life back. It all starts with one small positive thought, one simple action.
12 months later, I am able to deal with the struggles of life a lot better. I still get anxious, but I don't have Panic Attacks any more. My body sometimes starts to freak out, I get sweaty palms or maybe a numb face. But my mind not recognises this an anxiety and nothing more, my mind literally won't allow me to have a Panic Attack.
These days I am thankful for my extremely tough journey!
I would love nothing more than to help others who are struggling, because it really DOES get better! You just have to have faith in yourself, know that YOU CAN DO THIS!
Please if anyone needs advice, a friend or to simply share their story please feel free to do so 
~ Wanna_be_free- Is now free!
My story plz read and understand there’s hope!
No Hope Left For Me. 
Reassurance & Hope NEEDED!
Help! Holiday Anxiety
