Feel nothing

[Londonirish02]

Hey guys , just wondering does anyone else feel like this.. I've got this horrible feeling in my stomach, not like a pain more of an anxious , depressed hopeless feeling, had it for well over 10 years, it s so hard to describe doctors are baffled, it leaves me unable to feel emotion, like excitement, love, I don t look forward to anything at all, holidays, seeing family nothing, can't have a relationship as all I feel is this horrible feeling inside. It's ruined my life for years and continues to do so, I'd do anything to feel normal.. Thanks aMillion for any advice...

[Hidden]

This is called Depersonalization. It is your minds defense mechanism that detaches you from yourself as a way of protecting you. You know when people lose a loved one and they often describe in books as feeling "numb?" Same exact thing. It goes away when you stop focusing on it. I felt like this sort of a few months back, like I couldn't fully experience everything. It felt like a wall.

Again, it went away when I stopped focusing on it.

[shoppaholicsue Star in reply to Hidden]

Ah - thats what I get then too. I didn't realise it was that. I go to work and I come home - anything else is just a pain. Xmas, new year, holidays. I don't want to go out or do anything different. I force myself to go down the pub with my husband every couple of weeks but he knows not to bother asking me to do anything else as my anxiety will become too much.

Sue

[Hidden in reply to shoppaholicsue]

Yeah, but when you face that anxiety and see that nothing bad happens, it is when you start to move past it. Like I went to the mall and got so much freaking anxiety it was crazy. But I kept going, and could have betrayed myself for becoming anxious but instead I congratulated myself for doing it and that what I feared didn't happen.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Berated, not betrayed

[shoppaholicsue Star in reply to Hidden]

Yes, i try. I push myself to do things i don't want to - like going to the mall or out for a meal. most of the time I'm ok. sometimes things go wrong and I just go home.

Sue

[maggiej]

These posts have helped me & I'd like to say thank you to you all. My family was split when my abusive ex-husband left us for another woman 20 odd years ago. Christmas has since been very stressful for me, because I kept the abuse to myself so that the children would still have a good relationship with their dad & now the family (3 children, 3 in-laws & 5 grandchildren) want to spend time with him & inevitably I end up spending time alone - apart from Christmas Day, when I go to my daughter's. However, I get myself so stressed, anxious & upset that even that day is spoiled because I always feel panicky. This Christmas was the worst I have ever been, I kept having to rush to the toilet, I felt sick & bloated, I had palpitations & thought I was going to die. When I got home I realised that I could remember very little of what should have been the best day of the year. Even now I feel as though I wasn't there, it's the weirdest feeling. Thanks to all of you, I realise it was possibly this depersonalisation & that I wasn't losing my mind. Today all my family are at their dad's having a party with his new partner's family & all day I have been feeling the anxiety & panic building up. Tomorrow we are all meeting up at my elder son's home & I feel so bad that I don't want to leave the house, I'm terrified that I'm going to panic again & either make a fool of myself or, if I manage to hide it from everyone again, I'm going to lose another day, because I'll be depersonalising again to control myself & keep myself safe. I'm so scared & alone, but at least I now know there are people out there who understand. Do any of you have any tips? I do try deep breathing & relaxation, but with so many people around it is very hard without being conspicuous.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry. I have had this EXACT same thing. Felt invisible, not there, ghostly, unreal, no sense of self, finding it weird that I cannot see myself, as if I should. I've felt blank, like no personality but I haven't been emotionally stilted or anything. More like I couldnt put who I was into the physical and wondered if some of the things I say is how I would have responded. Very weird. Research anxiety DP. Don't look up what it is indicative of. DP requires very little stress to start, but it can be reversed. Your brain is simply saying it's had enough and needs a time out.

[Hidden]

Hi how r u? how old are u? do u live in London and since when? yes u will be surprised how easily this can go away. I am from Italy and I live in London. I had this and my mum took me to see a doctor some srt of alternative medicine based on massage. it took 3 sessions for me and basically you just have blocked energy in the stomac that makes u feel not ur self it can be a scary I know. but after u will feel normal again I dont know in english the tecnichal terms but i can make some phone calls and find out for u tomorrow. Let me know

[Londonirish02 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, thanks for the reply. Yes I live in London, I'm 37 been here for 8 years , I'd be very interested in what worked for you with this problem. Any help or advice would be appreciated ... Thanks again