Living with dyslexia, phobia and anxiety.

[Starlight2]

Hi, I have dyslexia. Remembering my childhood at age 5, I can remember being pulled out of the class and brought into another class to read, write and do math with another teacher. I didn't understand what was happen back than. It seemed a bit scary for me. As I grew up, I was retained in two grade levels. I felt different and I felt dumb. I was bullied and picked on many times. I can tell you I am a tough cookie, I picked myself up every time and told myself, I'm different and special in my own way. My mother didn't understand why I wasn't learning like the rest of the other students. She was very supportive and loving, just confused. It's the 70 's and being dyslexia was hard to deal with. I had good friends who would help me along the way and 2 great teachers who had a real impact in me learning. High School came and it was a harder era for me. Anxiety came into play, and phobias reoccurred. 4 years of confusion about everything! I fell in love my Junior year. It was a nice feeling but anxiety kept creepy in. My boyfriend would join the military and I would try and attempt college when I graduated High School. My life has been hard. I just learn to cope well. Until this past year. I did marry my High School boyfriend and he is aware of my conditions. I just feel so trapped in my body. I feel he doesn't understand me and my conditions, at least that is how I feel. I feel lost at times. I have a nice family, a good career, but I feel so misunderstood. I get into this mood for days in and then I'm ok. I read a lot, listen to music, play with my kids. I'm very calm, loving person. My friends tell me I bring positive vibes and they like to be around me. I do feel positive about life! It's just being with my husband I feel sad. I cry constantly, and feel down, I don't know if it's me or my mind.

I have a drivers license since iHigh School. I used to drive short distances but it's been a while since I have driven a car. I'm terrified of driving. I want this phobia to go away. It is one of the problem in my marriage. He doesn't understand me and my dyslexia and phobia. It is driving him mad at me. We argue constantly because of it. I really don't know what to do.

[Colours23]

I'm dyslexic and I love it,too boring being normal.enjoy your life,won't last to long,not the answer you wanted but dyslexia is not a problem unless you make it one.great to be different,enjoy yourself,sometimes we have just got to have fun,make yourself and take responsibility for yourself,don't blame for not understanding you,do you understand them? So it's not as bad as u think,have a change of heart. Take care.

[daisymay70]

Hi Starlight2,I really like your story and in some ways it let me feel very emotional.It`s true that when something happens in your life you`ll feel different at times and maybe not understood for what you feel in yourself.It`s good to hear that you`ve good friends around you that keep you feeling positive.If you need to cry is nothing wrong with that and even feeling low at times is normal.Having arguments is not healthy and maybe there is a need for a support for let your husband to know more about dyslexia and phobia and especially your fear of driving.Ask your GP about having CBT for treatment of phobia, I think has to be valued bearing in mind your dyslexia, but I am not deeply into it, that why you`ve to ask your GP about it.Take care

[Starlight2 in reply to daisymay70]

Thank you!