I feel so tired of waking up every day and knowing I'm Gonna feel the same today like I did the other days. Sometimes I don't even wanna get out of bed and just wanna stay there until everything is over.
Every day I feel some type of anxiety symptom like worrying about whatever. Headaches, chest tightness feeling like I'm not getting enough air so I spend the entire day taking in deep breaths and focusing on my breath. And one as well is a feeling of some kind of dizziness like as if I was drunk. Like sometimes it feels like I'm not even in my body as if I'm having a out of body experience and everything around me isn't registered In my brain. I don't enjoy life anymore. When I go out all I think about is "what if i start feeling this again Coz of my anxiety"
My depression is coming back from all this and I feel like soon I'll just get locked up in a mental hospital Coz I feel like nothing will help me and in my head I have a brain tumour, 10 different cancers, a heart condition and some type of infection. I feel like it's more of a health anxiety that beats me down as when I was about 11 I had a weird obsession over my health that I had serious illnesses. I used to think I had some type of cancer and always thought how will I tell my family. I guess back then such thing didn't really cause anything but now it caused a health anxiety in me. And I'm slowly giving up. I hate the fact that every night the minute I put my head down I start worrying and overthinking then I get some type of anxiety symptom so it makes me worry more and then I cry myself to sleep. I just feel like I belong in a mental hospital forever now as nothing will help me