The Beach

So summer is upon us and the kids are out of school now. Tonight my husband said..hmm we should go to the beach tomorrow

Immediately panic rises in my throat and I start imagining the two hour trip to the beach, sittting in the car, in traffic, and how driving 15 mins to church kills me and I got soo mad at him I wanted to scream at him


And of course the kids heard him and they were soo excited, and jumping up and down.. yes lets go the beach ! Whoooo Hoooo ! Can we get surf boards , can we have a picnic!

I feel like a peice of crap right now, because I don't know how in heck I would survive a trip like this and I am panicking right now even thinking of it and tomorrow when we wake up, I am gonna be the one who ruins another family trip because of this stupid anxiety. And now I am crying because I can't even hold it together for my kids. Its just not fair , maybe my husband will leave me and find a woman who is adventurous and beautiful , and she'll love my kids, and she'll be spontaneous, and love going to the movies and traveling amd then they can all go together. And I can sit in my prison and stop feeling guilty for holding everyone back

4 Replies

  • Hey I can see how this must make you feel please dont be so hard on yourself it's really not your fault there's other ppl here in similar situations you're not alone :) xx

  • Hi roses

    As mimii says don't feel like a piece of crap because you are not you are suffering with anxiety & how you are feeling is part of that , if you had any other illness I doubt you would give yourself such a bad time , I think because we physically look fine we can beat ourselves up because this is on the inside & only we can feel how debilitating it is to deal with

    Are you getting any support or therapy with your anxiety , I hope so as slowly things will improve

    Once you get to where you are going are you ok , is it the journey you fear more or been out of your comfort zone altogether

    If it was the journey that is your main concern you may be able to take a book , or some music or anything to distract you ?

    I seem to be asking lots of questions & please don't feel obliged to answer but I was wondering if you lived in the UK with your mentioning surf boards , not that we don't have them here but sounded like you could live somewhere else ?

    Hope you are feeling a little better now :-)




  • Hi whywhy, No I don't live in the UK I live in California . And It's the entire trip, the car, then being in an uncomfortable place no where near my home. I have done many different therapy programs , medications, and all of that. I am no longer on meds and pretty much just take it day by day. I think I feel worse because of my kids, I feel like I hinder them

  • Hi,

    Remember, the fear is in your head. Just do it and accept it as something that you will enjoy. I nice trip to the beach should be relaxing and the beach itself is the best way to relax. Plus, if you have sinus like me is another extra bonus to go to the beach. I have my 6 day beach vacation coming up and i'm counting the minutes. ;-)

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