I've recently started getting night time panics after about a year of being panic free. Last night was the worst I can remember in a long time. I went to bed exhausted, I had a job getting upstairs, and when I got intio bed I was asleep almost instantly, for twenty minutes...
I woke like a light switch to a million negative thoughts and a buzz in my head that is a lot like putting a 9 volt battery on your tongue. I don't get palpatations but I do get hot flushes and sweat a lot. I tried to talk myself down but its like part if my brain us still asleep so I don't feel rational like I would during a day time panic attack, so I peaked and troughed, 10 minutes of intense panic into 5 minutes of anxiety, back and forth for nearly 3 hours until I finally gave in and took my last 2ml of diazepam.
I'm terrified of chemical dependency, so much so that 28x 2 ml diazepam has lasted me over a year, nethertheless my GP today refused to prescribe me any, I have to bite the bullet this time, apparently, and take a prescription of trazadone that he recommends. I'll be taking my first dose tonight if I can get over my apprehension. I've only taken anti represents once in my life, 10 years ago, when I first became I'll. I lasted aweek in citalopram and ended up with a reaction severe enough to induce a mild, tho terrifying psychosis that lasted months.
It would be great to get some resurrence that I'll be OK taking the trazadone, but I've heard enough horror stories, and I've read the side effect list, so I guess its just a leap if faith on my part.
I guess that's it for now, wish me luck.