New outlook - battling social phobias and anxieties.

[Em89]

It's time to start the self-healing and self-discovery which may have been needed for over a decade!!

So I'm only 23 years old and although my childhood was mainly good my mum met a partner when I was 5 years old who wasn't a positive role model in our lives. She broke up from her earlier on this year and I have come to the realization that this woman has had a huge affect on my mum, my sister and myself in terms of our self-esteem and social skills/anxieties and phobias.

Obviously this isn't ALL down to her and I'm not playing the blame game because at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own self-esteem and self-belief, but by identifying factors that may have contributed to this must help. Social anxiety and depression also runs in my family, as all my dads side of my family have suffered with it.

I have always been convinced that people didn't want to get to know me or didn't take to me well because of my appearance, but now I have realized that at the end of the day if someone doesn't want to get to know you because they don't like your appearance then they aren't worth the time of day! I have also come to the realization that my social anxiety and awkwardness is what has played the biggest role in my lack of social success (I know, I know it has only taken me about 12 years to realize!)

So all this time I have been worrying about my appearance I have been neglecting the inside of me such as developing my self-esteem, my identity, my personality, my beliefs and therefore becoming withdrawn and socially anxious and awkward.

My sister suffers from similar issues, she has a lovely family of her own and great friends but lacks a lot of self-confidence and can be quite anxious in social situations (not quite as bad as me though).

My mum has a lot of issues with her confidence especially at present as her break up was due to her partner cheating on her, so I feel she could do with some sort of counselling or CBT to help adjust her thinking in this challenging time. I do also feel that she hides a lot of her feelings from all of us and sometimes find that it's almost like she is having to hide her true self away and have always felt this. This to me isn't healthy and I have kind of adopted this habit too, sometimes so much so that even I can't tell how I'm feeling!

I want to be a happy, healthy, loving and open person as do I want my mum and my sister to be, so I am going to sit them both down tomorrow evening and share this blog with them. I feel that as a family we are not open enough with each other and by getting the treatment together (Anxiety Re-balance method) we can try to make a fresh start together.

I know this is going to be hard for my mum to take in but it's time for change now and facing the issues head on is the only way, plus she knows I love her to bits!!

[loubie25]

Hi

I found your blog really interesting to read.

I can really relate with you on some of the things you say especially the social anxiety and self confidence issues as I suffer big time with these myself.

Its a great idea to get treatment with your mum and your sister and hopefully will help you to open up more with each other and with such a positive attitude you are already off to a great start.

Hope it all goes well for you. xx

[Em89]

Hi Loubie

Thankyou, I hope my mum and sister will be able to relate to what I am saying here. I just think it's important to be open and where better to start than with your family!

Social anxiety and self confidence is so very frustrating isn't it? When I'm most conscious of it I say the wrong thing and even end up agreeing with things that I actually really don't! It's like you have no confidence in your own identity! The thing I dislike the most is the feeling of worthlessness or not being good enough.

Have you had any counselling or treatment?

Em

xxxxx