Trip to Mersea Island

I have offered to swap Mr B....a white five pound note and 20 fags for the use of his car.

This offer it seems doesn't appeal to him.Although I think I may have been out bid by whywhy.

I have now found half a packet of polos and some old egg sandwiches.

If any person could kindly swap their vehicle....even a JCB would do. I can add another 20pence.

That way I could drive us all down to Bertty's cottage.

We could then all have a nice day out......steal all his Ribena.........and come back tanned and happy.

Any offers please?

To any new comers to this sight,,I am not really off my rocker but sometimes a laugh or a song can help relieve our horrible anxiety.

Best Wishes



58 Replies

  • Morning Grog,

    I'm thinking a boat might do well for this trip, there's an old one in the the dover museum :-) i'll see if I can borrow it and row up to your place, then a quick jaunt across and we're there.

    Dont forget bring a pack up, i'll get a picnic together too :-)


  • Love the pic , very good ;-)

    I get the joke as well :-D


  • :-D

    I'M upping the offer to Mr B , cant do boats , get sea sick

    So I have 2 packets of fags , a fiver , loads of plants , really lots , which Mr B could sell & make a profit & I am throwing in Sunday Dinner & I can cook let me tell you ;-)

    I have no transport or I would do the deal

    Bertty would be over joyed if we all turned up I am sure

    I could also bring my Will-I-am tape , come on that must get some offers in surly :-o


  • Please Please forget the WILL-I-AM tape and we don't need loads of pants!

    I will leave Mr B to consider your offer

    I cannot match that. Also I only eat cabbage and pickled eggs,can you cook that for us all please




  • Yes I can do cabbage its on the menu for today as we speak

    Pickled eggs shouldn't be a problem

    May be I will just bring Will-I-am then in person if I can catch him , do you think he would like to come ?

    In fact he has a private jet , I could twitter him & ask if we could borrow that , cos I have joined him on twitter now :-D


  • Sounds great to me.Will the boat hold about 100 of us and 10 barrels of Ribena.?

    Looks like we have a nice flag to fly to also!



  • Don't you want me to come :-o

    I cant do boats :-(


  • What do you say to an old helicopter then?

    Mr B may have one in his museum

    or perhaps the old pirate meant mausoleum?

  • Oh, love helecopters, well I used to 30 yrs ago, when I could get in one :-)

  • The car's not got any petrol in it. :-( or I would be out walking, not been out for nearly three weeks, I need a holiday :-)

    I wonder if there's an old hovercaft in the dock, that should be a smoother ride whywhy

    The flags up :-)

    (( I'll make sure the cd players not working Grog too, haha, ))

  • Now I am stumped.

    Cannot navigate a hovercraft can you.?

    Also whywhy has threatened to bring the real WILL-I-AM so can you please save the cd player for my Ken Dodd discs.I have about 60 that we could all listen to!

  • :-o


  • OK a police helecopter just landed to take a neighbour back home to prison :-)

    I've hoisted the flag, my sons got the picnic, and we're on our way.

    whywhy, tell your hubby to shake his Will i ams at us as we fly overhead.

    Grog, its going to have to be a ferrying service for all us lot, got plenty of valium just in case !! so we can all come, Bertty will love all us coming to see him.

    The copper didnt look to happy when I pinched their chopper, haha.


  • Brilliant Mr B

    You've left me speechless



    chopper ha ha

  • Hey grog I can just see you as captain pugwash, if whywhys taking will i am can i put in a request for captain jack sparrow, willing to pay at least 20 fags and as many cabbages as you can eat for him lol :)

  • I've got my pirate outfit on mimii, will that do, lol.

  • Got me there mimii.

    Had to google Jack Sparrow ,but sorrow no he is too good looking. and I don't need the competition.

    I will allow Captain Birdseye for you if that helps.



  • Hey grog I can just see you as captain pugwash, if whywhys taking will i am can i put in a request for captain jack sparrow, willing to pay at least 20 fags and as many cabbages as you can eat for him lol :)

  • I suppose it might after a few barrels of ribena lol :)

  • Ha Ha

    You are all too witty for me today

    My sides have split again and all my cabbages have come out and run off!


    Oh dear I think the pickled eggs are off too PHEW!

  • Captain birdseye? Even better lol Im off to get those cabbages !! :)

  • I'm just landing at sainbury's to get some roast chicken and salad, bananas and grapes. mmmmm

    Wont worry grog, my dad was a Sea captain, he taught me navigation well, now why is this contraption spinning round in circles :-)

  • Well reading this , I think I will just meet you all there , you wont miss me , I will be landing in a private jet , no need for any Will-I-ams to be waved , just watch for something posh landing , you wont miss me , you will hear my gob , before you see me

    Whoops (sorry Dad ( I meant you will hear my lovely well spoken voice :-o


  • lol, race you there, I've still got to hoist grog and mimii on board, but wont be long

    I'll be the the one with my sons pirate outfit on, he was 8 when I got it so its a bit small :-)


  • So I look for someone with a pair of trousers on that are up to his knees , maybe the jacket sleeves to the elbows & pulling a little on the chest , if at all fastened that is

    Right think I know what I am looking for ;-)

    Must dash Will-I-am is just feeding me Strawberries , before we land ;-)


  • Thats me, sorry I couldn't find any pirate shoes so I've got a pair of my wifes boots on :-( folded down of course. But the heels are giving me trouble

  • Hey baylien am I going crazy or do you keep having a sex change lol are you aka adorable?!

    Mimii :)

  • Oooops, what have I said now lol.

    As you can see I dont get out as much as I should.

    I'm 100% male, although my voice is a bit squeeky in this costume :-)


  • Problem solved.

    I have just done some research.If I remember rightly Mr B said his car is a lada so we should all be ok for food.

    HO HO HA HA It's the way I tell em

    Someone just shoot me PLEASE



    Got to go , I am landing :-O


  • haha....very clever play on words, hope you got your trunks Grog, I've packed my lilo, and arm bands.

    I've got my bucket and spade too


  • change?....Oh dear

    Did Mr B mention a mimii skirt and a young boy's uniform.

    If that's the case I may jump ship.



  • Sorry must be me finally lost it lol !!!

  • Here come's whywhy,

    looking a million dollars, showered in gold, with her toy boy :-)

    Grog, you really do look great in that onezy, those tigger slippers go so well

    I think I many of split my trousers :-(

    Mimii, come on whywhy got strwberries wohooo :-)

  • Excuse me he is only 12 years younger & on our private after what he thought was turbulence , yet it was , he has said he would have never known there was an age difference & he says he will never be the same again (not sure in a good way or bad way ) ;-)

    You guys look dope ;-)

    Any sign of Bertty :-o


  • I thought you looked younger whywhy :-)

    I'm not sure what that anti aircraft gun is doing pointing at us :-( who's that sitting on it,

    It looks like...bang................

  • You are really getting into this Mr B , feel like you are back at been 8 like your costume ;-) & you are enjoying it :-D


  • You have had practice MR B the right thing to say to a lady :-D


  • I may of had a bit of practice,

    but I know a thing of beauty when I see one :-)

    I am enjoying this, I love adventures, it was the only way I could take the kids on holiday before, spur of the moment, middle of the night. they loved it.

  • I can see you are enjoying this :-D


  • My worry is , maybe a little to much though :-D


  • haha..........just been up tsco's to calm down, that brought reality right back :-(

  • Hope you changed out of your outfit before you went :-o



  • Ah thats why they were looking at me funny :-)

  • You can tell I am flustered , its not Ribena talking

    That was private jet & it wasn't turbulence , it was me making the earth move

  • It did look a bit cloudy, not sure if that was the problem with the turbulance :-)

  • :-D


  • I am retiring for a while.Cannot take any more laughter.Poor wife thinks I've lost it.

    See you later


    ps Who started this?

  • Well we are not wanted anyway , look at Bertty's blog , so me & Will-I-am are going to have some us time ;-)

    look at the top of the blog says someone called grog started this , don't no if you no him :-o


  • just spoken to my wife and she is quite willing to swap WILL-I-AM for 3 colour photos and 60 cd's of Ken Dodd.

    What do you reckon?



  • No deal

    Didn't even have to phone a friend :-D

    I wont swap for nothing



  • Well I'm off down the sands to make sand castles, and see if I can float on the water. Thing is I keep sinking. Not sure why :-)

    Tutty bye ! that exclamations mark is my tickling stick grog.

    I really need whywhy to teach me, how to do all the funny faces I only know two.

  • Got the cd player going :-)

    Now I best go lye down for a bit, you know how I get if I get too excited.

  • Very good ;-)



  • I would just like to thank everybody for entering into the spirit of this blog.Your support here has lifted my spirits and really made me laugh.I hope it has helped us all.

    Thank you all so much



  • Anytime grog just let us know when your planning the next adventure lol sorry had to jump ship early I totally lost the plot but Im easily confused lol !!!

    Mimii :)

  • That's ok,

    I lost the plot myself when baylein started wearing your skirts



  • It was a pleasure & it cheered me up & I got to spend time with Will-I-am , even if it was all in my head , but as most things are , that felt quite normal ;-)


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