Once again I spoke too soon

[GrayEm]

A few days ago I posted that I was taking one step back and two forward. Well this latest step back has left me feeling particularly low. I suppose it may be worse beause I really thought my anxiety and depression was behind me. I am now hoping that some of you guys will be able to encourage me. Gray

[Hidden]

Hi Gray

Yes totally understand. That's one of the worse things about this...you can feel good for a while, then the lows can hit for no apparent reason, but the lows feel worse because we have had a taste of the good :(.

It's a constant battle ...mind you mornings can be bad and that doesn't mean you will be low all day...as you know the way we feel can change by the hour...lets hope the rest of your day gets better...I'm sure you can get there again it feels so much better..like a weight lifted off your shoulders

When I'm low , if I have the energy I try a short walk especially if the sun is shining as it is today...I know we don't feel like it but when I can I do it.....

I guess it's all about positive thinking...which can be difficult when you are low...I try to stop the negative thoughts and think of nice things.....I am lucky I can usually manage to watch a good movie and that takes my mind off it a bit too...I can concentrate to watch a feel good movie, but can't concentrate to read a book or write too much when I'm low....

Not sure if you have got up but get up have a shower, I am the worlds worse for just staying in my room even though I know it makes it worse....

Hope the day gets better and we know it can..this is a small set back on the road to recovery...

Sue xx

[LadySaabra in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, I agree with this...I'm just so happy at the moment that I have started going for morning walks on my own for more than 10 minutes away from home...It's the little things that keep you going, nothing can take it away.

Sam

[Hidden in reply to LadySaabra]

Good for you Sam that's great!!

And your right those little things no one and nothing can take them away ...

Sue x

[GrayEm]

Thanks Sue. I like your comment about the fact that because we have tasted what it is like to feel better the lows feel worse. When the lows hit me I just keep thinking that I will never get better again.

[Hidden in reply to GrayEm]

You will get better...I am just the same as you...

The journey is a tough one but we can achieve it.....because we want it!! Sometimes we try too hard, and we beat ourselves up which makes us low..give yourself a break you have done well....be nice to yourself...

[GrayEm]

Thanks again Sue. It is nice that there are people on here that have really empathy with me.

[GrayEm]

I guess you have to keep reminding yourself of all the positive steps that you have taken. For me that includes getting more confident at work.

[Hidden]

Morning grayem

The fact that you are getting good days is really positive. The road to recovery is a bumpy one but you will get more and more good days. The bad days are a reminder to be kind to ourselves and as my therapist said when i was getting frustrated at the bad days..... You can't take the plaster off a leg then start running a marathon it's a steady journey.

Ive just had a relapse after weeks of feeling back to "me" again but I'm back on track. Try not to stay in bed too long on a bad day and gentle exercise, drinking lots of water(a dehydrated mind is easily muddled) and the good days will come back. Take care love hugs x

[GrayEm in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Eve and Lady Saabra too. It really is good to know people out there can empathise. I guess I am quite good at pushing myself to keep going.

[Hidden]

You are welcome

I've pushed myself way too hard over the years and I was pushing and fighting too hard to get well this time. It's easier if you stop pushing and fighting and accept its part of you and roll with it. If you fight it it fights you back much harder, if you relax and let the feeling wash over you it loses its strength. Keep on rolling with it xx

[Hidden]

You are welcome

I've pushed myself way too hard over the years and I was pushing and fighting too hard to get well this time. It's easier if you stop pushing and fighting and accept its part of you and roll with it. If you fight it it fights you back much harder, if you relax and let the feeling wash over you it loses its strength. Keep on rolling with it xx

[GrayEm in reply to Hidden]

I have heard this approach before. But I find it very hard just letting it wash over me. How do you do this in practice?

[Hidden in reply to GrayEm]

Hi and sorry not got back sooner my two small children have been snapping at my ankles today...

I will try to explain and hope it helps but tell me if I'm not explaining as I can confuse myself at the best of times.

When you feel the stress/anxious feelings or thoughts don't ignore it but practise not paying attention to it. So notice the feeling but take a deep breath and focus your eyes on something else like the birds or the colours of the flowers outside and notice any noises such as the tweets from the birds or the rattle of the wind and don't feed the feeling with any fear. Notice the anxious thought or feeling and notice where you feel it but don't be afraid of it. As you practice you will become calmer each time it happens. Focus on very slow deep breaths and the things you can see and hear until the feeling passes.

When you add fear you add tension and stress so you feel more physical aches and pains but if you add relaxation and calm it loses strength.

I'm no expert but I've practised this and it does work for me and i hope it works for you and that i haven't sent you to sleep love eve x

[GrayEm]

Hi Eve. Thanks for that. I will give it a go.