Lonely nights

[oap1949]

Just a quick question,but I wonder if there is any one else out there who always wakes up about 4am?I do everyday i am awake somewhere between 3.30am and 4.30am.It's just too early to get up

[veganese]

In the main I sleep well, unless up for toilet or my pets disturb me. Sometimes, though I go through a spell of waking during early hours. After a while, I begin to feel hungry so I just make some tea and have something to eat. I also have a few books at hand including a crossword book, watch tv or put radio on. I find that I can go back to sleep for the rest of the night's sleep, though it can be a couple of hours I've lost. I sometimes have a nap in the afternoon if I feel overly tired.

[copdber]

When I was at my sickest I would sleep for a few hours then be awake worring for the rest of the night. I have never recovered my good sleeping patteren but thankfuly with the right meds for the last 6 years I wake but don't worry,

[oap1949]

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to reply and for helping to re-assure an old lady

[oap1949]

Thank you for helping with my question Monkeeey.

I never try to judge people on their age.You say you are in your early twenties but that does not mean that you have not suffered or been hurt as much as some one like me in their middle sixties.Nor does it mean that you are unable to offer advice.Indeed I have seem some of your blogs and feel it would be a great shame if you left us .I wish you the very best and thanks once again.

[Emby]

Yes,I wake every morning between 3 and 4. Never able to get back to sleep,then spend 2 hrs in a constant state of extreme anxiety have to take Ativan to calm me down a bit.are you on your own? I am.lost my husband 11 years ago,can't stand this life much longer,feel very isolated and sorry for myself at the moment.How about you? Not even able to nap in the afternoon,basically just living for the few hours sleep I get each night and that's only due to medication I take.Are you getting any help from your GP,he may give you something to help you.Let me know how you are.Look after yourself.x

[oap1949 in reply to Emby]

Hello Emby

Thanks for your reply. I have never been married but my problems started when I retired.I felt lost,useless and could not find a reason to get up except to take my dog Sam for his walks.

Then Sam died and I almost gave up.I got depressed and then developed "health anxiety" I started waking up in the early hours convinced I was going to die and got chest pains and cold sweats.Being on my own was even scarier.

Like you it is the only sleep I get although I feel constantly weak and tired. I have heard good reports about Ativan but unfortunately I have a medical condition which prevents me taking it.

At this moment I am on 2mg diazapam but that does no good at all.

Sorry to hear about your problems.Losing a husband must be so so heartbreaking and you have my deepest sympathy.

It is quite understandable that you feel sorry for yourself.I often cry those lonely hours away but we must not give up.

Please keep in touch and thank you

[Emby]

Thank you so much for your reply,how nice to hear from you. I too have terrible health anxiety,it's a really horrible condition.I've never been to the Doctors so much as I have in the last year,in fact Im now worried about ever asking for an appointment again.I totally understand how retirement feels,not always what it's made out to be!! Also loneliness is a dreadful place to be in,I think that in itself causes mental health problems and physical ones too.I suffer horribly on that score,I do have Two children but my son lives 200 miles away and has a young family to bring up,my daughter lives near but works full time and has a home and family to look after so don't usually see her more than once a week.You mentioned you take 2mg Diazepam which is a very low dose so hardly surprising it doesn't help.I really feel for you, it's awful to feel poorly and have no one near to talk to about it.I've thought several times in recent months about ringing Samaritans as I feel so anxious and worried what's wrong with me,but as yet haven't done,don't expect they could do anything but at least it would be someone to talk to! Please feel free to reply when you've time,I'm sure it helps just to write it down and also to know you're not on your own! Which for people like us that is often how we do feel!!! Take care of yourself!xx

[Emby]

Thank you so much for your reply,how nice to hear from you. I too have terrible health anxiety,it's a really horrible condition.I've never been to the Doctors so much as I have in the last year,in fact Im now worried about ever asking for an appointment again.I totally understand how retirement feels,not always what it's made out to be!! Also loneliness is a dreadful place to be in,I think that in itself causes mental health problems and physical ones too.I suffer horribly on that score,I do have Two children but my son lives 200 miles away and has a young family to bring up,my daughter lives near but works full time and has a home and family to look after so don't usually see her more than once a week.You mentioned you take 2mg Diazepam which is a very low dose so hardly surprising it doesn't help.I really feel for you, it's awful to feel poorly and have no one near to talk to about it.I've thought several times in recent months about ringing Samaritans as I feel so anxious and worried what's wrong with me,but as yet haven't done,don't expect they could do anything but at least it would be someone to talk to! Please feel free to reply when you've time,I'm sure it helps just to write it down and also to know you're not on your own! Which for people like us that is often how we do feel!!! Take care of yourself!xx

[Lakshami]

Hi,

I also wake early in the morning, and wish, wish I could sleep longer. Think it's especially common at this time of year. In my case, it's heartbreak, loss after over 20 years together. I wake, think, she's not there, and think - why did I have to wake up to recognise that for hours on end? I also felt redundant when I left my last job, and worry about colleagues retiring and feeling that way. Not everyone who is in work makes a useful contribution. Some of my colleagues were a real pain.

You're not on your own, when you wake up - there's the thing. I think it's quite common that people wake early when life is difficult - and then you're on your own. Still, tomorrow when I wake up at some daft hour, I'll think of you and the other posters on here, and feel that much less alone. That's a contribution you've made to a complete stranger.

Do you feel alert enough to read? I can't concentrate enough, but it's a thought - if you're going to be awake anyway.

From personal experience, on the odd occasion I have rung the Samaritans and it can really help. Even if it doesn't work all that well the first time, worth trying again as some people are just better able to deal with some people. You've nothing to lose, and you only need to talk as long as you want to.

You don't have Sam to get up for now. But you have yourself to get up for. Even if it's only to go for a walk, see the season change.

These are just some random thoughts..

Lakshamix

[Lakshami]

Oh, and I had another idea for too-early: radio. If the radio is rubbish, there's always the iplayer. I think I'd rather be listening to poems read out on radio 4's "Poetry Please" then dwelling on my loneliness. I might try that tomorrow am.

Lx

[oap1949 in reply to Lakshami]

Good evening to you Lakshami.

I really don't know what to say as much of what you have said could be me speaking.

I used to love to read but now days I cannot even manage half a page before my concentration has gone.

Oh and yes....the radio....I find my dab radio invaluable.It is usually tuned to radio 4 extra because I love the plays and so much of what they put on is based on the 50's and 60's.

And of course yes Poetry Please

I find the voice of Roger McGough so relaxing.Also of course The World Service is on 24hrs.I prefer to listen to the spoken voice rather than music.

I am not too sure about the Samaritans but I have spoken to NHS Direct at times about my physical symptoms.

I am glad we have helped you a little bit. The other night I was looking at three people blogging between 2am and 5am about anxiety and insomnia.I did not join in because it was one of those nights when I was just too ill.

God Bless and in those lonely hours we can think of each other.

[Emby]

Hi Lakshami

Interesting to read your letter,so sorry to hear about your loss,it's a horrible place to be, as unfortunately we now both know! Regarding the reading,I'm afraid I'm the same as you,just can't concentrate enough.I used to be an avid reader, now I really can't read anything other than forums such as this. Appreciate you telling me you've rung Samaritans.a lot of people wouldn't want to admit that.I did ring once,but that was over 11 years ago,just after my husband died,I can't really remember what they said as it was the middle of the night and I think I was slightly hysterical at the time.Now I feel quite ashamed about that.It was nice to hear you like poetry,I do too.I think poetry can be very inspirational and often help you to see things in a different light. I'll be thinking of you tonight,though obviously I don't know you,but here's hoping you and oap1949 and anyone out there with horrible anxiety issues sleeps well tonight and doesn't wake up until at least 7am!!!!! Take care of yourself.x

[oap1949 in reply to Emby]

Thank you Emby

DITTO !!!

[Emby in reply to oap1949]

Just noticed you live near Chatham,when I first got married 49 yrs ago I lived in a flat on the High Street in Rochester as my husband was stationed at Kitchener Barracks there.Brought back a few nice memories!!You say you have spoken to NHS direct about your physical symptoms,did they help at all?Have you thought of asking your GP for a sleeping aid,it might help you to sleep a bit longer.don't know about you but I actually dread looking at the clock when I wake up,praying it will be at least after 5 but it's usually just after 3 or on a good day 4!!! Hope tonight brings you some peace. Nite nite.xx

[oap1949 in reply to Emby]

Good morning Emby

Hope you have slept better I made it through from 12.30am until 5am but am just starting to come out of a bad panic attack.Thanks to you mentioning Kitchener Barracks I have started to feel better.Your husband would of course have been associated with the RSME at Brompton Barracks. And it was there that I spent the most happy 25 years of my life! As you know the RSME offers training courses to soldiers or "sappers" and I was a Storekeeper there in the electrical department.Oh happy days!And you living in Rochester high street what a lovely place to live.

Sadly since the Mid Kent College joined forces with the army and took over their training scheme the whole place has gone to pot.

And yes I found NHS direct very very good. They listened to my problems and the person I spoke to actually done some research on the subject and called me back 3 times

Excellent!

I hope you have a good day

[Emby in reply to oap1949]

Good morning.

Thank you for your message,it was lovely to hear from you,and even better to know that it cheered you up a little! How strange that you worked at the place were my husband was stationed,what a small world. I used to work in a shop called Penny Feathers which was on the High St in Rochester,probably long gone by now. Nice to hear you had some sleep,though obviously not much! Not so good that it was followed by a panic attack,they're horrible! Do you have friends or family you can talk to,even though they can't do much it does help a bit to talk. I think living alone plays a huge part in our anxiety problems,do you look with envy at people who have someone? I have to admit I do!! Do you ever wonder if it's worth trying to carry on,Im afraid to say I sometimes do,not a nice feeling! Please keep in touch when you have time,I enjoy reading your messages.Look after yourself.Hope today brings you some peace! By the way my name is Diana .not too keen on my made up one! Xx

[Hidden]

Hi oap I can totally relate to what you say. I used to sleep like a log until about 5 years ago. I first started waking up every hour or so then I couldn't even get to sleep. I think this was brought on by 2 things. Firstly getting older - I am 59 now - and second I was in a job I hated and became very stressed and depressed. I did eventually get sacked for sickness. I have been out of work over 3 years now and am not sure I will ever get a job again. I live on my own too. Added to that I can't even get my pension at 60. I have to wait until 65. Meantime I am trying to survive on Job Seekers Allowance and worry that they will apply sanctions if I can't find a job soon. Life ain't easy...

I see you are on diazapam. My mother and my sister were on that for ages. They found that it stopped working and actually made them more anxious. They were both a lot better when they came off it though my mum had some nasty side effects. There are lots of newer and better drugs than that and I think you should go back to your doctor and ask for one of those instead. They were both convinced diazapam actually caused more anxiety in the end. I take sertroline during the day and mirtazapine at night. It does help me sleep so maybe it would work for you.

Keep well love.

Bev xx

[oap1949]

Hello Bev

Thanks for writing to me.Firstly getting older and starting to confront your mortality and what you have done with your life can be very traumatic.Secondly being in a job that you hated must have made life very hard.I was lucky and really enjoyed my job but it hit me when I retired.

I am angry at what the government has done lately with the benefits system.To expect a lady such as yourself at the age of 59 to search for a job is outrageous.Also to expect this to carry on until you are 65 is appalling.As you know the old age pension is not great but it does come in every 28 days and you do not have to do anything else to get it.

I think everybody should get their pension at 60 but have the right to carry on working if they wished.

Anyway I will get off my soapbox now,

Thanks for your advice about the medication I am going to see mu GP on Wednesday so will discuss this with him.

[Hidden]

I do agree with your oap but again I understand why they have increased the pension age. The trouble is they shouldn't have done it so quickly so I would have had more time to save for a private pension. Youngesters now are doing this which is great but I never heard about private pensions until I was 40. Hardly enough time to save much hey? They are really hitting people in my age group - changed the goalposts near the finish!

Let us know how you get on at the doctors love. Good luck.

Bev xx

[boygrog]

Good luck oap message me anytime day or night