confused, depressed senior man seeking advice

[Kacey2014]

Any other senior citizens out there who are depressed with self esteem due to deteriorating physical attractiveness of youth.

[Gramas]

On top of all the other things in my life I feel the same loss of self esteem for the exact same reason.

[Downandout123 in reply to Gramas]

I feel the same way. A lot of people don't understand and think it is just part of the aging process that we should expect and that it's no big deal. I'm glad this subject was brought up and hope to see alot more responses. I can't give advice because I too am, and have been going through it for many years. Each year gets worse as I get older. Kacey2014, thanks for making this post!

[Gramas in reply to Downandout123]

It seems that not only are we having trouble dealing with this internally, I feel like I’m invisible because I’m old and not attractive. It seems the older I get the worse it gets. Nobody really pays attention or listens to me anymore. I know how I feel is correct too because things were a lot different when I was younger.

[Downandout123 in reply to Gramas]

"Invisible". That's a word I've been trying to explain to my friend, who just doesn't get it. Perfect word. I don't think people DON'T pay attention or listen anymore. Gee I hope I'm not wrong!

[Weatherwoman in reply to Gramas]

Well, I could have written this! I feel badly that I am obsessing about DEEP wrinkles around my mouth --I know that there are A lot of other issues MUCH worse in my life, & I know that I should be glad that I can walk, talk, think & get around though Not like I used to. Am an older Senior & well wrinkles are just part of the package. And, I won't mind them IF other's esp. the opposite sex wasn't SO hung up on that~ I am an Older Women who used to be Very pretty & now feel "Ugly," --this feeling is Not all our fault --our society is youth obsessed, and it's especially hard for the older woman. Yes, & I bought into this --hard not to when all one sees is countless ads to look younger, when the Multi Billion Dollar beauty industry constantly is selling this & that cream, serum, when --you get the picture. Different for Men, but not that great, either --when one sees these young, buffed up muscles & the older Man just doesn't look like that anymore. Yes, they say that "Beauty is skin deep," & while I do believe that, it's not the way, I feel, other's see us --matter of fact they don't See us At All! And, that's the problem we have become INVISIBLE! Let's just have hope that Not Everyone is as shallow, and can SEE us --Really SEE us -the beauty from within.

[Downandout123 in reply to Weatherwoman]

Excellent post Weatherwoman!

[Weatherwoman in reply to Downandout123]

Thank you!

[Kacey2014]

I feel like a 20 year old trapped in a 70 year old man. I’m chasing the elusive fountain of youth that no one ever previously found. This is my personal problem, surrendering to my fact of life that my youth will never come back. I try to be grateful to God for my many blessings and relative good health, but years of weight loss, both fat and muscle sarcopenia have resulted ina flabby, slovenly appearance in the mirror. The sad part is that I know deep in my heart that there is not a damn thing that I can do to improve this fact. As far as I’m concerned, getting old is the toughest challenge I have ever gone through, and I’ve had a lot of hardships over my years. It scares when my mind considers escape from the torture of living like this might be easier that the daily struggle. I have always tried to live my life my the Nike shoe slogan, Just do it.

[Downandout123]

I definitely agree with everything you have said. Growing old is one of my toughest challenges too, but I am grateful for the things I have. Why do you think some people just accept it like it's nothing? Is it because they know they will never get back their youth and just accept that? Of course, exercising and keeping in shape, along with good skin and hair care is important, but it will never be the same as younger years.

[Kacey2014 in reply to Downandout123]

Everyone ages differently. It becomes very frustrating when you have aging complications compounded by the effects of time. You can only diet, exercise, sleight lift, and wind sprint without any tangible results physically to reflect your diligence with constantly trying before you slowly have no alternative but surrender to Father Time, but many of us baby boomers are either too stubborn or stupid to give up hope. I asked my doctors if he could prescribe me a “I don’t give a shit pill”, but he couldn’t because it doesn’t exist. lol. Feels refreshing to rant about stuff like this with others with similar circumstances. I’ve been trying to find some senior therapy group or senior chat groups that discuss these kind of unique senior issues. It’s no wonder the world we live in today is so messed up, the mental health is this present time has never been in such a poor state for any one of us today, young or old.

[Winterhart in reply to Kacey2014]

No one should ever give up hope.

[Downandout123 in reply to Winterhart]

🙏

[Weatherwoman in reply to Kacey2014]

Hey, I like the idea of a Senior Group discussing the "ravishes" of aging. Much Worse for us older Women, as you can imagine!

[Downandout123]

Do you have to say the word " senior" so many times? Lol It's funny-I technically am a senior, but I have a vision of what a "senior" should look like, and I don't look like that YET. At least I HOPE I don't!😮 It's weird-even when in my thirties, I used to think about what I looked like in my twenties, and want to look like that.When in my forties, I wanted to look like I did in my thirties, and so on and so on. This sounds so shallow, but I can't help the way I feel. Just curious-were you a bodybuilder at one time?

[Winterhart in reply to Downandout123]

Yea lol I do not think anyone even seniors like that word. I like the ones like well aged, or well seasoned. I like Elder.

[Downandout123 in reply to Winterhart]

Well seasoned sounds better! 😁

[Kacey2014]

I still try to be one. Always has been an unobtainable obsession with me, to this day. My mind still thinks I can look as young esthetically, but then reality kicks me in the ass when I see the man in the mirror. Yes, I do say senior a lot because I am one and am just trying to find similar peers in my age group that may be experiencing similar self esteem issues. I’m glad for you that you feel that you are aging well, but others like myself don’t see themselves in such a positive light. That’s the only reason I have for searching all these supposed health sites, to possibly stumble upon a crutch to assist me with surviving another day.

[Downandout123 in reply to Kacey2014]

The thing that keeps me holding on is my daughter and my 7 month old grandson. Do you have family that you see?

[Winterhart]

I think at times anyone on any common day has problems with how we look. I gave up caring. Oh I still take care of myself, but I do that for me now and do not pay anyone else any mind. Does it still cross my mind? Yes, but then I still move on. What others think means very little to me now. I like me for me. I only wish I could change my mental illness, but I am ok with me.

[Downandout123 in reply to Winterhart]

Winterhart,I read your bio and am so sorry for everything you are going through.😞 Keep coming here for support. I like crafts too. What kind do you do?

[Winterhart in reply to Downandout123]

Right now I bead and make jewelry and crochet stuffed animals. But I also like felting, wood working and some sewing of stuffed animals. But am willing to try any kind of craft really. I like to make Boho stuff for the apartment as well.

[Downandout123 in reply to Winterhart]

Oh wow you are very crafty!! I LOVE the crochet stuffed animals! Someone made one for my grandson when he was born, and it is just beautiful. The handmade things are the ones you always treasure!

[Winterhart in reply to Downandout123]

Yes hobbies have kept me alive. I think they are half to reason I never did anything silly when I was really depressed. Just grab one. But lately it was harder. Then I came here and I started crafting again. Having people to type to has helped that.

[Downandout123 in reply to Winterhart]

Yes I agree this site definitely helps a lot! I've been here for years and the people here are very special, understanding and caring. You should post pics of your crochet animals. Love to see them!

[Winterhart in reply to Downandout123]

Maybe one day I will. Kind of worry about doing anything with my real life online. I fear my family would find me. As when I use to be under their control they would know what I make. Maybe I will try new things.

[Downandout123 in reply to Winterhart]

Yes that would be nice to do!

[Kacey2014]

thanks to all of you for the kind words. I guess we all have our own personal burdens that we must endure. We must continue to the self love and esteem thar everyone deserves as we all continue our individual journey throughout life. I sincerely hope that you all have a very good weekend. God Bless!

[Downandout123]

Thank you Kacey-and the same to you!

[Adlon57]

We are the forgotten generation, because the generation before us are "setting" their standards, and we do not fit into their proposed idea of how this world 'should' be run, they seem to forget we have been through this ourselves, but they don't want to learn and evolve from our experiences!