and I always have to ask myself, what for?

[SomersetNJ]

Struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a child but I always had to choose between which of the 2 was worse and focus on that. I can't say I don't get depressed anymore but the anxiety is definitely the dominant problem in the last decade. I should feel lucky that I live in a country where I have resources available to try to alleviate this daily suffering but now that I just turned 50 and still find myself waking up in a panic every morning, too afraid to answer the phone or doorbell and not wanting to become dependent on medications I just wonder what's this all for? recently tried ketamine therapy, it was enlightening but even gaining a greater broader wisdom of reality, every morning it's like someone hit the reset button and the panic and irrational fears are right back front and center. I hoped with age, and hopefully wisdom, I'd outgrow these fears but if anything they've gotten worse, especially when I turn on the news. Maybe there's no cure for this and people are just wired this way and can't be changed. lately I've been asking myself what is this all for?

[CrowBoy]

I’m sorry you’re suffering, and I wish I had an answer for you, but lately I have been asking myself the same thing, especially in the morning when I have to drag myself out of a pit of depressing thoughts and face the day.

But I do still want to see where life takes me, and I do have people that matter to me. I also know that many people suffer as I do, so I’m not alone.

I hope you have things that keep you going. And don’t worry about not having enough wisdom at 50. I’m 69 and still waiting for it!

[ElFer78]

I'm sorry but I will tell you what I feel, you are right! What is all this for? I also thought with my age this would go away but he'll no this has just gotten worse!! No one gives a crap, i feel . I'm tired of talking about my problems and everyone listens but nothing changes! What's the point?

I hate the person that I am and I want to give up !!

Sorry I know this doesn't help you but I am just being honest