i think i have ocd

[augustine02]

i’m not trying to self diagnose. but i have always been this way and i thought it was my anxiety. i think i have OCD. i have mental and some physical compulsions. i have a thought and it STICKS with me for weeks! i can’t let it go. i think this causes a lot of my anxiety & derealization. i go into panic attacks about some of the scary thoughts i obsess over & im so terrified of losing myself. i know who i am, i know. but my anxiety & maybe OCD likes to tell me that im a terrible and awful person. and that my intrusive thoughts are how i actually think and im not myself anymore, and im terrible. i have so many fears and constant worries. this has led to thoughts of taking my own life. as i’ve said on here before, i’m on medication. buspar & prozac. and i’m in therapy. i just feel crazy 😭 i feel so scared that i have so much more wrong with me.

[Trentz]

Try to take some deep breaths. It sounds like you maybe overthinking. Your not crazy.

[augustine02 in reply to Trentz]

all i do is overthink i wish there was a way i could feel better. i’ve tried everything. just last week, i had to call the hotline and i sat in my closet having an anxiety attack.

[Trentz in reply to augustine02]

I overthink a lot. I find keeping busy helps the most then meditation and exercise.

[PuzzleArt]

I fell asleep with the water running in the sink. It overflowed and ran under the door outside my apartment, so then people came and knocked on the door and woke me up, so I went from too relaxed? ( doesn't happen very often) to extreme alertness. I had to pay an enormous amount of money to the apartment ( probably more than it cost). The water waa not 8 feet high...only a few inches. I mopped it up, and the company with the drying machine said that it would not cause mold. ( The apartment manager was not available to call the company to come pick up the machine Where was she? So I had to pay for another 24 hours because of her neglect. Anyway, if you have read this far...... ........ I now have an OCD of turning off the faucets over and over again. I don't trust turning them off just once. It was the kitchen sink, so every time I do cooking and wash the dishes it takes me forever to finish and leave the kitchen, I check the faucet, and then the stove over and over and over again and can't believe they are really turned off! I have begun to accept this as part of my life, and routine, now. I will not take any meds. I had a friend once who checked the lights over and over again to make sure they were off, when we were going someplace, and also checked the door over and over to make sure it was locked. ( I never thought I would ever do something similar.) I think I can relax, even if I keep doing this, because I am accepting it now, and I use the time to try to forgive myself for not being perfect. I think having high expectations of yourself can backfire at some times, even though it might have been okay when you are young and going through college, or planning for a career. If you can add times of relaxation, and alternate it with a new activity ( maybe even something new, that you never thought you would be good at) the added dimension can be a discovery that will help give you a tool to work out of some problems, and then you will also have the energy to interact with others.

[Sailingtoabetterday]

I went through a 3 year major depression that was treatment resistant. I tried everything-Prozac helped a bit, but I figured out that SSRIs were making me more anxious. I was about to give up and resign to feeling miserable the rest of my life when I got a new doc. He put me on Lamictal and within a week I felt better and had hope. I think it worked so well because of my ruminating. I wash OCD, but I would spend almost every second of my day checking in with myself and feeling anxious. Lamictal turned that faucet off. I was on it for about 2 years and have been off everything now for a year and feel like myself again. The best part of Lamictal was no side effects except for some forgetfulness, which was actually refreshing! SSRIs were destroying my sex life. Ask your Doc, and if they tell you Lamictal is for bi-polar, that’s true , but also for treatment resistant depression and anxiety. If you aren’t getting major relief from whatever you are on, it’s not right. Hang in there there is a light at the end of this tunnel!

[Peacely]

Hello You are NOT crazy, you have a mental health disorder like MILLIONS of Other people in the world, including me! And people with mental health disorders can lead a very healthy joyful life so there's no reason to give up! AND that does NOT...NOT make ALOT of things wrong with you. It just means that you have unhealthy thinking that is affecting your mind and body and those thinking patterns can change and then so will your health!!! I believe this so much because I too am OCD with anxiety and history of panic attacks but I have learned so much and have MUCH more control of this now with lessss medication. Medication is very useful and I still take Buspar3.5 mg a day now. More about buspar if needed but these are the things thst REALLY helped me.Here are the 2 books that I'm currently reading that are very insightful and very much to the point as to why the body responds to our thinking patterns and how to tackle that un healthy thinking. And then there's another book by Sally winston and it's called Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts. READ all of these books ASAP!Then I also recommend daily QI GONG with Bodhi medical...look this up on you tube..and lastly....Get outside and meditate in the grass or dirt in bare feet for 12-20 minutes a day...this is called GROUNDING and there are studies that this can heal so many areas of the brain and body. I lay on the earth.. grass or dirt. These tools have helped heal my disorder in addition to my buspar which at times I have been off of and return to as needed but I NEVER rely on buspar alone, it won't give you all hhe answers/tools you need to manage this or actually heal the body. It treats the symptoms only by changing some neurotransmitter chemicals in the brain that decrease the symptoms. But these holistic approaches I am also sharing with can also elicit some neurochem changes if practiced regularly just lije meds can. You can also change the chemicals in the brain naturally to contribute to your healing as well. And they'll help you feel empowered so you're just not always taking a pill for the problem which again I don't recommend you come off. That is not what I'm saying, but I'm just saying you can incorporate these books and activities to help heal your body and give you more control over you are disorder then downbthe road consult doc/ therapy about meds. I also have the link to QI Gong and the link to a meditation that I do as well if you needed. Let me know if you have more specific questions about buspar. Lastly I cannot forget my failth in God, having faith in him has been instrumental. And here's what I know about this buspar, it definitely takes the edge off when you're having difficulty controlling the bodily symptoms or the FEAR that comes with anxiety but I also know of a friend of mine who takes way more buspar than I do, shes maxed out on hee dose and she still experiences the panic attacks in certain situations and she's on venalfaxine as well and so I'm hesitant to go up in my busiar in falsely thinking that it's going to solve the problem. I see people on it in greater doses and they still suffer......and they take an additiondl antideppresant..meds help but I feel there needs to be more tools than meds alone. I also a wonder support person that is there for me, this is important too.

GREAT books!!!

[Sunynn]

I’m taking Prozac 100mg and Buspar 30mg

[Noodlecatpiano]

please be careful. I thought I had ocd and was concerned about my wellbeing. I learned in college to ask for help. He gave me medicine for depression . I wasn’t depressed. I was scared but that bothered me. I didn’t know the words. The medicine was for depression made me depressed and the doctor raised it over and over. He should have taken me off in retrospect early when I said it wasn’t working but while on it I was so depressed I didn’t care. Anyway, bad things happened and it got so much worse. No one would diagnose me with what I thought I had. I think I was surrounded by bad providers? I didn’t know because how do you tell and I like to give the benefit of the doubt? I learned. I would recommend a second opinion. They tried diagnosing me with as much as they could. Really weird things. Some therapists and doctors weren’t well adjusted themselves and wanted to blame me for everything it felt like. I took it too! Until I started to realize one at a time and learn things that I would prefer and some things that were unacceptable to me. I would leave. I kept moving on to different ones and they would leave. I came a long way.

I had several doozies. I had a few good ones (for me). I didn’t say anything to them just whatever I had to move on. I’m glad I did this though because I found some very helpful people after all and unlikely friends and adventures. Everyone is different. Everyone is beautiful.