Half in half out?

[Lifesearching]

I’m just not sure what is the right path right now. I’ve been praying daily multiple times to God about who I can trust. I’ve reached a point I’m so picky about who comes around me since I’ve already messed up my life in my 20s.

It’s like I have this inner circle right now, where I’m close to a small handful of people. I’ve noticed that some of their mutual friends I’m iffy about. So it’s hard because sometimes I don’t know where I stand with the mutual friends, and this includes the ones I’ve mentioned before about ones who are acting so fake towards me lately.

I don’t want to cut off my inner circle, but how am I ever going to keep a health relationship if their mutual friends might not want me around or possibly don’t even care about me?

One could say only hang out with my inner circle, but what if those in my inner circle are unaware their mutual friends throw shade at me or act fake? Would they believe me if I told them? What if they’re close and I can’t just leave one person out if you know what I mean? Is this a sign to keep working through those relationships, or is it a sign that issues could develop down the line if I keep the “half in half out” people around. Is it possible to be friends with or close to someone who’s friends or family don’t even like me genuinely?

For example, I have this friend “Ann” I’m close to, who is attached to the hip with “Mary”. But when I talk to Mary one on one, it just feels off and I’m not paranoid. Like she avoids me or pretends or to not notice me, but when Ann is around, Mary acts really REALLY nice and caring! I’ve notice that some people are nice to me to put on a show for when others in power are around, so if I bring it up it might look like I’m the crazy one?

[UglyDuckling546]

I know how you feel I have gone through this before in my life, now I find that only people I one hundred percent trust are in my inner circle, those I know will be there for me and I don't have to make a huge effort with true friendship should be effortlessI am a people pleaser and for years I tried to get people to like me and it would effect me when they didn't, especially friends of friends or school mums 🙃 but now I have learned to know that if someone is meant to be in your life and truly cares that's all the matters the rest don't no matter what they think of you

Saying that I still struggle with distancing myself from family who don't understand what I'm going through so that's something I have to work on

[Lifesearching in reply to UglyDuckling546]

I’m so glad you found that inner circle!🙏🏽💙yes Im also a huge people pleaser I want everyone to like me! That’s a great point about effortless friendships I have to remember that one. Ohhh right I struggle with the same, I have a lot of family who don’t know what I go through or they don’t see it the same

[UglyDuckling546 in reply to Lifesearching]

It's hard when they don't see it, I feel like I don't have much love and support at the moment it does make me question everything

[Lifesearching in reply to UglyDuckling546]

We are here for you to listen always💙💙💙🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[UglyDuckling546 in reply to Lifesearching]

Thank you