Stuck in a rut, missing out

I’ve got about 1 week until I’m finished with welding school and the anxiety and worry has gotten me missing days. I have 2 more projects to finish and test/bend out on. If the welds bend successfully I pass and if they don’t I fail and I have to try again. I’ve missed class today and yesterday because I’m feeling so down. I’m already an anxious person, but I’m also severely depressed. The past few weeks I’ve been suicidal. I’ve had a lot of thoughts of death. I’m 27 and I’m stuggling.

Hopefully I can get up tomorrow, actually get ready and go to school. I’m so close, but it seems so far.

I’m not sure why I’m even expressing all of this on here. I just want happiness.

[fauxartist]

how have you been doing so far in class....if you have only missed class recently, talk to your teacher and let them know you suffer from anxiety...and that you really want to finish this course and do well.....they will then be aware of your situation and may be able to help you out. I studied pipe-fitting before working with piping systems in the power plant...and had to pass flat welding angle iron, with no inclusions....a clean weld, and also how to tack schedule 60 pipe in place for the pipe welders.. It's an art and your probably doing better than you think....don't self sabotage with a fear of failing....re-group your thinking and look at what you have accomplished and know you can do this....

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

I appreciate the response. I’ve been doing well. Prior to this last phase (each phase being 3 weeks) I only missed 3 days. This phase itself I’ve now missed 3 days. I’ve completed 2 of 4 projects. I have a lot of issues with self confidence and I have a lot of problems with self doubt and worry as well. I just need to believe in myself and stay positive, but it’s so much easier said than done for me

[homemaker46 in reply to Hidden]

Just seeing this response. Sounds like you’re moving along well in the work. Keep it up!! ☀️Doubt your doubts and remind yourself of your successes and positive ways of being that helps you and others. I struggle with this too

[homemaker46 in reply to Hidden]

Did you talk to the instructor? What’s the attendance policy? If you see a therapist or doctor for anxiety/depression maybe they could vouch for you if needed. Glad you’ve been doing well. It is usually easier said than done. Sounds like you’re doing it though.

[Hidden in reply to homemaker46]

Hey there. I didn’t really speak to my instructor upon walking in. The first day I missed last week, he was concerned... I just told him I had a bad day. I believe with this final phase, as long as we bend out on all of our projects they clear us to graduate. Typically you can’t miss more than 3 days a phase as at that point you’ve missed 15 hours of welding time and a lot of practice. This last phase is a recap and test of everything we’ve learned over the past 9 previous phases compared to learning a new welding skill or process like every other phase

[homemaker46 in reply to Hidden]

Sounds good! Thx for update. You seem more focused. It helps to talk things through. You’re gonna do just fine 👍🏻

[Hidden]

Hello Metal!

I’m glad you’re here sharing and venting your feelings! Remember that when you finish school, it will get a lot easier. If you could find the stamina to finish school, then I would. Don’t worry about things that don’t need addressing right now. Temporarily let them go. Focus on what needs to be done right now only. I wish you much luck with school and your journey! 🌿🌷🌿

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I think I’ll be able to finish. After this it’s on to finding a job. It been a long 7 months. You’re right... I do need to not worry about the things that don’t need addressing now. I’ve got to focus now more than ever, I really do.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Congratulations on all of your accomplishments and having those goals! You have the aptitude, and you are doing well. That's what you can focus on- it's scary, but you can do it! I hope also that you have instructors who you can turn to in case you need some extra guidance. Good luck to you!

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

yeah....but just remember...you know what to do....relax and kind of do a bit of a zen thing with your welding...get into the flow of it....like riding a bike....all will come together....

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

I kept this in mind today and it did help. Thank you.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

that really makes me happy for you buddie....believe me....you will be on top of the world knowing you have a skill in your back pocket that you can do anywhere in the world....get some work under your best in a few different types of fabrication places and the worlds your oyster.

[Hidden]

You’ll make it and do just fine!

[CazO46]

Hi, I know what it feels like to get frozen with fear when it comes to finals. It can feel like there is so much at stake and everything will come crashing down if you don't pass. Years on I now realise this is not reality. Depression can really hold you back in your head but you are nearly there friend, hang in there. As always fauxartist has offered some really good advice .

[morenews]

It is hard...but you will make it. Don't think ahead, only think about today and what you need to do now. Small steps. Hugs and support to you!

[Rosiebh]

Hi I get you I’ve left two courses due to not believing and anxiety of failing. It only made me feel worse I felt the days I felt anxious and pushed myself to go we’re my most productive and happy days at college. I would always come home feeling positive. That’s night it would come again wondering if I would go tomorrow not see the point it didn’t help leaving I wish I had stayed I hope you feel better soon

[Hidden]

You are not alone when you feel the way you do now. We take examinations and because they mean so much for our future we can gag on them and we fail because of our fears and our concerns when we try again our concerns become self fulfilling. I have not done welding now for around forty years when I was training and taking examinations for Marine Electronics and Radio/Radar. We had to be able to many different skills. My problems were just the same as yours. We were taking three grouped examinations four times a year. In the end I just could not keep up, although my employment and qualifications allowed me to become an Engineer with further examinations to convert my tickets.

Try taking small bites when learning and your Brain will be able to take more in, To slogg when studying prevents us from learning. Bursts of learning is remembered better.

BOB

[homemaker46]

Did you go? How are you feeling today? Don’t be hard on yourself for the thoughts, missing out and fears you’re having. Our feelings are like instruments on a dashboard. They’re not bad or wrong, they’re information. There’s more to you than the performance you do. Society tells guys ‘you are what you do’ with common questions like ‘what do you do for a living?’ Don’t cave to that pressure. Be who you are then do what you love. Do you enjoy welding? If so keep that task in perspective to get through the temporary hoops of moving you forward to next steps. If you mess up in a profession that in no way means YOU are messed up. It’s just information to clue you in to what fits for you and what doesn’t. Are you feeling like you need to achieve this for someone else’s approval of your person? Know that as a person you’re already approved What you do is what you do. It doesn’t define who you are. Rest in that and take one task at a time, as others have said. Be well.

💥😎💥 (little welding guy emoji is what I’m going for)

[Hidden in reply to homemaker46]

Hey. Yes I did end up going to class this morning. I wasn’t feeling the best this morning, but I still went in. I did feel very anxious and my mind was so clouded, after about an hour or so my mind started to clear a bit. I was able to finish the pipe weld I had been working on and I was able to cut it out. I’ll try bending it on Monday morning.

My instructor took a good look at it after marking it up for me and said he “bets it’ll bend”. If not I still have next week to get it done and to try bending it.