I don’t understand it. One day I’m fine and the next…someone knocks me down and I just go straight down. I feel that I am never good enough, never have been and never will be. Nothing I do is great or remarkable or if it is…it’s pushed under the rug or ignored. It feels like I am never one of the group. That I don’t fit in, and even when I do I tend to pull away a little. I’m always sunshiny and silly, but when someone acts odd to me, I feel like they don’t like me or think I’m a bother.
These three instances of people hurting me was too much. My daughter didn’t really want me to stay at her place when I come down, even though I have spoiled her, and I’m only there one night…..reallly hurt. My husband is very controlling and can’t let me have my own space sometimes…calls me antisocial because I was ready to go after an dinner, and he got mad at me…I’m not antisocial, just tired from teaching all day. Then a new employee got an award that was kind of uncomfortable when that person is the boss’s favorite. Although I’ve been through tow year of wild students, and just this year have finally gotten a class that I can manage better. I’m always”happy” and work hard. I’m not saying I’m amazing but if the kids love me and the parents love me… what am I doing wrong and why should I care?
I work hard, I’ve been happy for a couple of weeks and then all this is just too much. I hate myself and don’t know who the hell I am. I’m a mom and wife. I’ve been at the place of work for 13 years and never received an award, but the people love me so I don’t get it.my whole life story is a freaking mess that I could write a book about, as I’ve had so much happen to me from well.. anyway.
I don’t know how to like myself anymore
I don’t feel like I’m good enough
I have extreme anxiety. And just found out I have oral herpes. I feel like I will never be loved. 
Here is how I feel all the time. Here is me!
I never feel like I fit in with my friends. 
Scared of intimacy 
