I don't know what to do

[Baconlover123]

Hi I'm sexual mental physical abuse victim I havet had the best time I was trafficked by my own mother I am not in that anymore but I'm at a crossroads I met the one person in the world who understands me and loves he's 25 years older and he's dealing with some legal issues my entire life Ive giving everything to other people that I don't know how to give to myself I love him so much and yes I'm going at 23 years old I want to be with him so much but I know situation with his legal stuff is gonna be hard life as a couple and I want to be strong and push forward but at the same time I want to explore relations and so much more but it would mean breaking up with him and I'm scared too I just don't know what to do my gut says fight and go live your life but my hearts wants him what can I even do

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

How would you feel if you lose him? Then still you have to be sure, he is best choice?

[optimismrus]

It sounds like you want to grow and become the person you want to be. You deserve so much more. If you focus on your own path you will be happier and then you will attract a healthy love. I don't doubt you love this man because you needed to be loved so badly. Love yourself, instead and put yourself first. Best wishes 🥰

[fauxartist]

This is an incredibly sad and horrific thing to have happened to you, I'm sorry this happened, but always remember that it wasn't your fault, and to have a caregiver do this to you, is incomprehensible. I will tell you that I may not understand to the extent you suffered, and the emotional toll your personally experiencing, but I completely empathize with you as I am a CPTSD survivor of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. I know there are a lot of great centers helping people recover from similar issues your dealing with, I would certainly check around your area, and online. I'm very happy you found this place....no one here will judge you....and many are very kind and good-hearted people who will listen.

[Baconlover123 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you from a cptsd surviver to another I hopw your doing ok

[fauxartist in reply to Baconlover123]

I'm okay, and thank you for asking.... one day at a time ... we can do this.

[bethelbee]

Sorry for what you've been through. My thoughts are similar to the others. You are young and may need to focus on yourself for a while, be happy with yourself instead of giving yourself to a relationship you're not sure about. You might love him but it sounds like legal issues are a red flag for you. Also sounds like you want to explore other relationships, too. Just my opinions...

[Baconlover123 in reply to bethelbee]

I appreciate the insight to be honest got so used to putting everyone else first that I'm.not even sure where to start with . myself