Understanding how to move forward

[awesominion]

So my trauma started when I was young. I had to grow up fast. My mom got addicted to drugs when I was about 8 years old. My parents got divorced. By the time was 12 I watched my mom use, got beat, and was in a police drug raid. Went to live with my dad. My dad meet my stepmom and it was great until my mom told me step parents are just like Cinderella. I hated her for a long time and gave her hell. At the time even with what I went through my mom did no wrong. I heard my mom's bf beat her. I seen bruises. My dad and stepmom had two kids and I became on the back burner. I didn't put myself in good situations and there is sexual abuse has a teenager. Time went on I met my husband (now ex). I was almost married for 17 years. With a few physical abuse times and a lot of mental abuse. He cheated through out the marriage and that's what ended it. We have two girls. My oldest got a lot of abuse mentally and physically. Physical was from times from protecting me. We got divorced and he was ordered to let me stay in the house but still caused us to lose the house because I sent him money and he spent it. The house was in his name. We were homeless and my daughter meet a guy who we thought was an angel. Got a place. They got engaged. My ex husband was still doing manipulative stuff so we did talk to him. Yes Dsfc was involved. My younger daughter is special needs and easily influenced. Well she started hating me and went to live with him. Thing just got worse there. Mean while we were moving forward. Well my oldest daughter started being mentally abused and wanted to call off the wedding but we live on his family property and knew we'd get kicked and there was a couple of times when he was throwing a fit and gave her a black eye. Like toddler fits. Now where about to be homeless again and no one to help. We have two dogs ESA registered it happened after I had a stress induced seizure and we both were diagnosed with PTSD because of my ex husband. We're trying to move around Vancouver Washington or anywhere outside of Utah. There is so much more but this summing it up

[optimismrus]

I'm sorry life has been really hard for you. I'm glad you found this site to vent. We are here to support you on your journey to a better life. A lot of us here have had to overcome difficult pasts, too. We have moved on thru: therapy, groups like Co-Dependents Anonymous, journaling, and ending relationships that no longer serve us. The way to change is to do the work. It's not fast or easy but so worthwhile. 🥰

[designguy]

When you move you might check out the local chapter of NAMI they have support groups and resources you may benefit from. Also check out the local county mental health services and see what they have to offer. If you can try to find a therapist that treats trauma/ptsd and work with them to help you heal and move on with your life. Mine used emdr as part of the therapy and it was very helpful.

[HisChild4ever]

I am very sorry! There's a 12-step program that has been very helpful for me during my hard times and traumas called Celebrate Recovery. You've been through so much and I really hope that God blesses you. This life is not easy and I know that getting help is necessary, but our healing can take several years and hard work. I would like to encourage you to continue to be brave and not give up. Wishing you many blessings!