Getting worse!

[ChristAlways]

Hi everyone! I feel like I am getting worse and I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. I feel like an empty void with no way to stop the spiral that is out of control! Any suggestions?

[FriendlyDude]

I suggest starting where you are. When in a spiral like that, it's easy to focus on the increasing fears and worries. You say you feel as though you cannot stop it; it's out of control. Start there! If you focus on the feeling that it's impossible, your mind will collect all the reasons why that is. It makes me think of the skiing analogy. When people learn to ski, they say "How can I ski with all these trees here?" They're focusing on the problem, therefore all they see is the problem. Experienced skiers know to look for the path rather than the trees, because then you start to see all the different paths you can take!

From my perspective, you, my friend, are looking at the trees. That's not anything to be ashamed about, it's a natural response. It's important to acknowledge with honesty what is happening, but don't dwell. Learn what you need to about yourself, the circumstances, etc., and then take a step forwards. That's why I say, start where you are (: I invite you to start looking for the path; looking for the light. Trees don't grow overnight, and as such, healing doesn't take place overnight either. But little by little, with care and consistency, there is growth! With each centimeter you grow closer to the sun! As the light grows brighter, the darkness is forced to flee. Focus on the light, my friend (: I believe in you!

[Beevee in reply to FriendlyDude]

I like this. ⬆️ 👍🏼

ChristAlways My advice is from a different viewpoint but think the principle is the same which is to keep moving forward, no matter how you are feeling and that sunshine will return.

In practical terms, many people with anxiety spiral because they think they must control this thing to stop them slipping further into the abyss. They are afraid of what might happen to themselves so tighten their grip.

In reality, the reason why people continue to suffer and feel worse is because they are trying to control their anxiety and depression. Trying to do anything to rid themselves of all the symptoms has the completely opposite effect. The less you do about your anxiety, the more you will recover.

In my experience, if you learn to genuinely accept [make friends] those negative thoughts and feelings will gradually disappear.

When I say make friends, I mean learning to be ok about not feeling ok and caring less about the symptoms. You don't have to be close buddies, you just have to get along with each other.

I saw on your bio that you are a sales person and that this might have been a contributing factor to your current predicament. If it's any help, anxiety is a 4th dan black belt in creating stress from places or situations that without anxiety being present, wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

I took myself back to work and faced many [false] fears, doing the best I could and things gradually improved. Confidence earned while doing this is never lost, even though there may be times when you think you are back to square one. That is just anxiety bluffing you and a confidence trickster.

Hope this helps.

[ChristAlways in reply to Beevee]

Hi there. This does help, in fact this site is very helpful in the degree that when people offer advice, it forces me to reply back and to release some of those feeling. I also know that you are correct in your assessment of things. Sometimes you know all the logic, but you can't seem to get it from your head to your heart! Thank you for the encouraging words.

[Beevee in reply to ChristAlways]

Everyone on this forum is travelling along the same bumpy road, some further than others, worn the same shoes, obtained valuable experience and completely understand what others are going through.

It can often be very difficult as Friendly dude said but it is also true that your current state is temporary if you learn to let the thouughts and feelings pass without resistance.

What's even better about this forum is that the advice is free!

😁

Feel the fear and do it any way!

Take care!

[Beevee in reply to Beevee]

Anxiety will always try and bluff you into thinking everything is wrong with you and the world around you.

It's nothing of the sort!

I say this because even when your heart understands, your anxious brain tries to tell you otherwise.

Accept it all!

[ChristAlways in reply to Beevee]

Thank you so much. All of this is helping and I appreciate it all!

[ChristAlways in reply to FriendlyDude]

Thank you so much for that! You are so right! As they say, sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees! And, I know all of this. It's a lot easier knowing this and teaching this than it is to do it yourself, lol! I am working on these things and I will continue to do so, I appreciate the advice, and encouragement from you and everyone on this site. I know that things will never be as they once were, but that is encouraging because I know there is a lesson here and there is definately something I need to learn about myself and my faith. I know that I have been relying on what I know instead of what Christ says about me and what I know. Thank you again. Each comment brings me closer to where I need to be!

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

Focus on the now, present moment and try not to worry on the past or future. Be living, by feeling and you are important enough while it is occuring events. If you breath and feel the ground with your bare feet and just try to be alive it is worth it. You control only the moment you are in and don't have to think about future or past it relieves us of so many stresses. I have had alot happen to me and the future is sometimes too difficult to think of but if I just go on the moment, I can cope. Just do what you can and don't stress further

[ChristAlways in reply to LazyXrayEyes2255]

Thank you for those encouraging words. I will, and I have been trying to focus on those things.

[Fefe09]

I’m sorry you are struggling. Change can be a difficult thing for a lot of people. I know it is for me. Try and just take one day at a time and focus on what makes you happy. Sometimes I think we put too much pressure on ourselves. We try and want to please ourselves and everyone around us. Just the thought of moving exhaust me. So I’m sure your just exhausted and switching jobs is stressful on it’s on. I’m gonna pray for you and I hope things get better and better for you each day. Christ always yes indeed. 😁

[ChristAlways in reply to Fefe09]

Good morning,

Thank you for those kind words. This overall feeling come from out of the blue. I moved here in mid October of last year and by the first of November, my emotions, feelings, and mindset was rocked to the core, if not shattered, including confidence, competence, and all that go along with it. You are so right in your assessment in these things. I am really trying to focus on things of Christ and not of this world, which I realized last Friday as I was yet again pondering allm of this that for most all of my life, especially in the Christian life that I have drug Him along into the things that I wanted to do instead of asking for his direction. I know that with more focuse on Him and not the world that it will get better. I believe that now I am reaping the dead crop from the bad seeds that I have planted over the years, BUT, I know from who He is and who He says I am through Him that all can change. Now I just have to understand that I have spent a lifetime doing, thinking, and acting as I please, and that it will take time. Thanks for pulling this reply out of me! It really does help.

[Depressed_Individual]

what exactly is getting worse? I would suggest having a discussion with your doctor and perhaps a therapist. I have been struggling a lot with my depression lately. Keep up the fight. Someday thigs will get better

[ChristAlways in reply to Depressed_Individual]

Thank you. The overall doom of the future is on a loop. I am doing many affirmations, etc. to fight. You keep up the fight as well!

[Depressed_Individual]

thank you so much!❤️ I really needed some support today