I just had to file a harassment complaint against an ACLU advocate. I’m livid.
The young man spotted me from across the street heading towards the corner opposite of where he was stationed. He crossed the street to meet me as I was reaching the corner. I acknowledged him With eye contact and a small smile and I knew he was starting up his sales pitch “Hi I can see you are carrying groceries and you’ve probably had a long day at work but do you care about women’s rights?” I said “No thank you” and continued on my way as the light turned green just then. I had my earbuds in but he continues shouting at my back “So what do you care about then? … that orange hat??…” and he continues shouting but I can’t hear all the things he’s saying but he was going on like that until I was halfway down the next block!
Honestly, I was fuming mad but also very confused and anxious!
What the hell is wrong with people? can’t I say ‘no thank you’ without getting harassed? Just because he is talking to me does it mean I have to talk to him? He’s a f*cking advocate for women’s rights yet he’s shouting at me for saying no thank you to him. Not only that, I was stopped earlier on that same walk home from work from someone else looking for donations to their organization. I said “no thank you,… heh…. Thank you” They’re all over the place and I hate that they scoff at me for saying ‘no thank you’. Do I really owe them my time and money? F*ck them
I’m so mad! I should have turned around and told that little shit to SHUT! THE! F*CK! UP! Come what may, if he shouted in my face or hit me or spit on me or whatever, it would have been worth it to my soul to speak up. I hate being timid and unsure and anxious. I really need to stand up for myself in those situations so I don’t end up like this. So impotent and angry hours later… !!!
See, this is why I have social anxiety. There’s always someone out there willing to prove me right about how awful human interaction can be.
Written by
Coolgreys
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Oh gosh! That's awful! It's getting crazy lately, but no excuse for bad behavior. Sorry you had to go through that. I feel the same when people approach me in public trying to sell stuff. I just want to get away quick, then I feel stupid for not standing up to them and getting all weird about it. You're not alone. Don't give up on humanity yet, there are still some really great people out there. Hope you feel better.
Oh dear I understand what you are saying. Its not nice is it.
I lived in London for years and I got hassled enough times to really hack me off. From men insisting on talking to me on buses because he found women are more emphatic than men and he feels more comfortable with them. I don't care, leave me alone.
To another guy who insisted on holding my hand walking down the street and terrifying me wondering what he might do and so on. I was even asked out by a man much older than myself at a bus stop and when I told him to leave me alone he became abusive.
Incidentally women's rights involve leaving us alone in public to get on with our own life and business and teaching men its not ok to harass us on the streets and in public. Most would never dream of it but not all.
I have always found its best to remain calm as it usually stops the situation escalating and just escape as soon as possible. Its upsetting and frustrating so go home and punch pillows etc. I feel for you and you are not alone.
Yeah I doubt he would have shouted after a man like that and why? For some reason it’s acceptable in their mind to treat women like this… because we’re less aggressive, less capable of defending ourselves physically? It’s the sign of a weak man.
Ha, imagine that man trying to hold another man’s hand out of the blue. It’s so twisted and it’s astounding how people are so willing to defend this kind of behavior.
Hi I sympathise. I've had this a lot and worse in the past also living in London.
I like to be alert when in a city. Personal choice of course. So I often hear these people before I see them and that way I don't look at them. No eye contact at all.
Thanks! You did nothing wrong. Polite that's all. Stay safe as well. I'm glad you are not letting this minority affect you. Ask any woman and most will have had some form of harassment at some point in their lives.
Hi Coolgreys. Just bear in mind he was doing a job. He might have pushed the conversation a little too far, but there's nothing criminal about starting light conversation with a stranger.
If nothing else, the moment is over and you can both move on.
No its not right for men to harass women in public. We are just going about our business and do not want men coming up to us out of the blue and 'starting a light conversation' etc. We are not public property you know and we have as much right as men to go about our business without being pestered by unwanted attention.
I often exchange light words with either men or women when stuck in a queue for example, or waiting for a bus and this is different entirely. Its a shared experience which is not the same as suddenly being approached by a stranger for no reason.
I know you were a man before I checked because that is the attitude of some. To you its just light conversion which to be fair it probably is - but to a woman what runs through our heads is all the women attacked by men, beaten, raped etc. and wondering if this guy who is stronger than us is one of them or not. Its threatening to us in a way that men rarely seem to understand because you don't live with the fear we are forced to.
Did you read my comments earlier? And really take in what the poster and I have said? We were scared, distressed and upset at things you as a man clearly think are ok.
No kidding he was doing his job. That’s why I acknowledged this person and said ‘no thank you’. It wasn’t his job to shout after me for half a block was it? That’s grounds for a firing. I have a similar job in clinical research and when parents or children say no to my offer I thank them for their time. It’s called ethics and I’m sure someone working for the ACLU should have some training, integrity, and empathy.
I'm so with you on how you feel about your experience. I think you experienced what is called 'progressive Liberalism', where if you don't agree with them or are not willing to be bothered and hassled by them, you're automatically against them - in other words it's also called liberal fascism.Living in Scotland we saw the real ugly side to that when we held a referendum on Independence back in 2014. Suddenly we saw the true colours of many people and it was not a nice sight to behold. If you didn't agree with the very aggressive, very in your face minority, you weren't just wrong, you were a traitor to your country, a traitor to freedom, etc, which was ironic because when their mob was (and still are, sadly) in power they brought in Laws to curtail free speech. We don't have freedom of the press anymore, where a journalist friend of mine was stopped by court orders from writing the truth. Anything he submitted for publication had to first be checked by 'The State' and censored. This is still happening today here. He managed to expose the corruption, but at the cost of a major strain on his mental health.
What you did was stand up for your right to say no and that's a good thing. As the great Grandson of a true feminist who worked to help secure rights for women, I can say without hesitation my Great Gran would have been proud of you for that. She would have hated people like that moron who accosted you. Her mantra was if a man (or anyone , really) told her she couldn't do something, she'd roll up her sleeves and get stuck in to the work to show that was a load of b*s.
True colors came out for sure!! I was very confused because that behavior from a women’s rights advocate was completely unexpected. Thank you for the sympathy and sharing. ❤️
Well read your post Girl. You're angry and why is talking to people a bad thing. Sometimes people need to talk to someone. Think of others rather than thinking of yourself.
Okay Girl. Duh I’m angry and if you could read you could find out why. It’s not that he stopped me to do his job that angered me. It was his refusal to accept no thank you as a viable option. I don’t owe him anything especially if he’s just working and he approached me. Am I obliged to stand there after a 1.5mile walk home back from work and carrying groceries in both arms and hear his pitch? If you are for that then where do you draw the line? Just get steam rolled and empty your pockets and wear yourself out for the benefit of other people’s ego? Again, No thank you. Did I deserve mockery and aggression for passing on the opportunity he wanted to present me? If so, you are a scary person.
I'm sorry you had to suffer this behaviour in the street ,if you ever see him again just keep walking and don't say anything and don't acknowledge him ,get away as quickly as you can .Just remember keep walking and if it happens again advice the police, you could logg this matter to the police so its on record just in case it happens again, fingers crossed it won't.
Oh I know. I should have turned back around and marched past him straight to the police station which was on that block. There were witnesses! But I got spooked and did nothing. 😣
This happens to me too. There’s a lot of protesters and media in my city always wanting comments or opinions. I just keep walking straight faced eyes peeled ahead as if I’m completely not paying attention and don’t hear them. I couldn’t care less that they want my opinion. Giving them any kind of reaction is exactly what they’re looking for so I don’t oblige. Ignore it next time…don’t them rattle your cage.
I understand how to survive in a major city as a woman. I know, we’re supposed to button up in every possible way as to not curtail any ire from aggressive people. Go as far as switching to the other side of the street or stopping dead in my tracks and turning around. And god forbid you are a polite person because that’s just asking for it.
There are men who harass women for blatantly ignoring them. This has happened to me many times, getting chased down the street and having racial slurs thrown at my back because I didn’t acknowledge whatever their plight was.
Then there are men that get offended by being acknowledged as a human being doing their job. This was a young man who I saw coming for me so I tried to be as kind as possible without having to give them anything I didn’t want to give them.
I’m 41, I’m not a child. I’ve seen it all through youth and now middle age. Don’t tell me that it’s some how my fault or that I’m just an angry person. You’re just showing your lack of experience and refusal of empathy.
I agree you have a right to be angry and no one should invalidate your feelings like this. He was bang out of order doing that to you too. If that makes you an 'angry person' its because you have a right to be at his disgusting treatment of you. I back you all the way on this.
Having said that, like I said I lived in London for many years, I adopted the never acknowledge any stranger in the street attitude whether they were doing their job or not. I just walked on even faster. I didn't care a jot if they thought I was rude or not as it wasn't my concern and nothing to do with me. Not criticising you for your politeness as we all do what we think is best to keep ourselves safe.
Thank you. I appreciate you! I think I’ve learned my lesson and I will be breezing by without any acknowledgment of their existence. And I’ll try my best to not care if they think I’m rude or anything else.
It just sucks that people like that won’t have learned anything and I did nothing or can do nothing but run away.
Yes I know - its infuriating isn't it. You have all this anger and adrenalin and nowhere for it to go. I sometimes wished I was a 6 foot 4 man and built like a brick and then I would just deck them instead. It would be glorious lol
You didn't run away though - you refused to take part in this guy's behaviour which is a better way of thinking about it.
I hear this great story on YouTube. In the USA a man went into a shop to pay for something. As soon as the assistants (a woman) back was turned he got his member out and put it on the counter.
She was so shocked she grabbed the nearest thing - a tin - and hit it as hard as she could. He ended up in the ER covered in blood and nearly lost it.
I wish he had then he wouldn't be such a disgusting b......in future
🤮 the owner??! I’m sorry that happened to you. why are they like that? Something is broken in their brains and take pleasure in making people uncomfortable. I hope you are okay. ❤️
I think its more to do with tradition and some men still thinking they own women and their bodies. That we only exist for their pleasure and convenience and everything we do is always based around them.
Its why men join sites like Incel (a woman hating site) because they blame women for their own inadequacies and think we owe them something because they are men.
If it happens again (hope not) do it next time lol
I was flashed at by a big guy in the street. He suddenly said want to see something and he moved his jumper out of the way. Then he walked off giggling.
Did you ever hear about Shakespear's sister? Its an analogy. She was just as talented as her brother and she too left home to travel to London to make her name
However in the first village she was raped and spent her genius in persuading another man he was the father so he would marry her and she wouldn't be judged as a (put your own word in, there are plenty) and starve.
Which is why we have all heard of him, but not of her.......
Oh it was 40 odd years ago now. I have a couple worse than that but won't talk about them on an unlocked post as don't want it spread anywhere on the net.
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What should I do ?
My grandson is sick. 
What I said was it wrong 
enough is enough.. 
THERE IS HOPE... REALLY, THERE IS
