Please don't say mom's struggling 😭🙏😭🙏😭🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭 SOS SOS SOS

[No_Longer_Human]

I went to the supermarket for food and got home and ate and I was just getting a panic attack and nausea and was taking anti-nausea meds when my mom called. I chocked on my med and I told her i was eating yoghurt so she doesn't call me a drug addict but she panicked "are you still sick?!". And then she started complaining about the internet and tv contract (oh no, all day i worried about it. I don't want it stopped. Did i manifest it?) Im trembling and about to throw up. And said sis took her theoretical driving exam and wanted to drive and mom said she will slap her if she drives without her or me and sis said we would be like bags of potatoes (i guess they aren't on good terms, sos is seeing me and mom as burdens and she wants to be free plus mom said she's just temporarily living there to the wifi guys, probably because she didn't want wifi but im still worried if she comes back). She pretended to be calling me to ask when we're going to the mental hospital to ask about disability (now if they don't give me, im cooked) but she sounded disturbed. I can't stop panicking all day

[optimismrus]

Sorry your family is causing you anxiety. It's so hard to heal ourselves and grow when we feel as though we have no control. Remember though that we can only control ourselves. We can change the way we react to others. It calls for making a leap, and accepting full responsibility for our own actions and choices. When I realized that blaming my mother and father would not help me, it freed me to move forward in my own life. I hope you can find some peace to think more clearly. 🥰

[No_Longer_Human in reply to optimismrus]

Thank you

[RaphaelAA]

Hi, No Longer Human,

You need to back off of people and things that are stressing you out. You can't gain perspective and understand what you need in this kind of box you're in and you need to take care of yourself.

Don't give your power away. It'll make you feel like you have to answer to others and grow guilt, shame and backwardness. Take the bull by the horns. Review your medications with a good psychiatrist. Psychiatrists really are the only doctors qualified to do this properly, not general practictioners, because psychiatrist are medical doctors, too, and they are specifically trained in the brain medication area.

If I wasn't doing what I'm doing now, I would be back having panic attacks, depression and anxiety. Now I love my life. I was in talk therapy for a while that also helped. I know I need to have good social interaction, from walking and smiling at people, working out, friendships, volunteering--whatever it takes to have enough good interaction. I'm on medications prescribed by a psychiatrist. I've worked on myself. Once I got the help that I needed and was honest with myself after years of struggle, I turned the corner permanently toward good mental health and a life that is so much better.

So, it takes more than one thing to get to health, contentment and fulfillment. DO NOT GIVE UP and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Do not engage in dysfunctional interactions; you can politely yet firmly say, "I need to take care of myself right now/I know you can solve this on your own with some thought/etc. A talk therapist can help you with that.

You are deserving, worthy and able! Everyday, think of at least one wonderful thing about yourself: a skill, gift, accomplishment, etc. Boost yourself. I know you can do this.

No doubt

RaphaelAA

[No_Longer_Human in reply to RaphaelAA]

Thank you but the psychiatrists in my country recently told me "your diploma is good only for wiping your a$$" and "your mother spoilet you by not making you work on the field once your first menstruation hit" and other post-communist bvllshit. "Why do you hate your mother". When it's written im scared of her and when the first psychiatrist said the second one wouldn't read it. This whole country is toxic but i can't make it on my own to get away.

[RaphaelAA in reply to No_Longer_Human]

My heart goes out to you. You have formidable obstacles. Our situations have been very different, but many of the feelings we share. I'm here to tell you that at this point of your life/situation, I can understand that all seems impossible. Believe me, I felt that way. Please re-read my original post, take the ideas and see if there's anything you can do. THINK OUT OF THE BOX. Making just one move toward well-being will give you confidence for the next move. Try to do more at the same time. Some results happen slower and some faster. If you're not making a move, ask yourself why. Moves include from telling your mother not to treat you that way, then retreating for a walk or into your bedroom, to finding a job, that at least right now, gets you out of the house, with different people and that might just be a building block. Again, think out of the box.

I wish you well and the best. You will find your way, but it takes work. The more you work at it, stumbles and all, the stronger and wiser you will be.

So long and the best of luck to you.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to RaphaelAA]

Thanks. Just i don't have my own room. For some time mom will live with sis but then might return or go to grandma's and leave work and i will be left helpless. I need her but not in the same room/house. Like in this city if i sprain my leg again and for some financial support. She wants me to get disability status and pension but the money will be enough only for food and I won't be hired. These years I've been walking all night till she falls asleep