How do I get past fear of making phone calls?

[Lucky_Cutlery]

I have a few calls I need to make, one for a medical thing and the other for some support resources, and I really want to do them myself both for my own privacy and because I've gotten shamed for needing help with them before. But phone calls have always been hard for me; its easy to get in my head about them when I can't see a person's face or read their tone through the phone, trying to get privacy is hard, my auditory processing isn't the best, etc. I prefer to use email whenever possible, but its not always an option and if I've been reached out to by phone I feel it impolite to not respond in kind. If anyone has any advice or would be willing to bounce ideas back and forth with me to ease some of my anxiety I'd really appreciate it!

[linuxusr]

Well, Lucky_Cutlery, we are in the same boat! I am not a phone person. I make phone calls when I have to; I can speak for a long time with a family member I'm close to. Other than that, forget it! There are many people who are not "phone people." I wouldn't call it a phobia. It's more like a personality preference. My strong PREFERENCE is for writing and email. I just accept that as "me" and I expect others to go along. Whenever, I meet someone new, I just explain my preference. Another option, which I have found very favorable for this problem, is WhatsApp. With that app, you do not need to speak live. You can leave a message. For me, that takes out almost ALL of the stress. So I tell people: I am not a phone person: first choice, email, second choice, WhatsApp. A regular live phone call is last resort.

[kenster1]

Not much of a phone person either bar a text and email like you can you phone a friend or family member to help build uo your confidence maybe.

[Yatzeemaam]

Hi Lucky_Cutlery, my preference is email/text/WhatsApp literally anything besides talking over the phone, but I'm in a job where I do end up having to call people. My ex-boss once told me, you've accomplished so much without having spoken to anyone, If you can talk to 5 people a week, you'll be much better in your role. I was a social media recruiter then.

It helps to write down what you want to say, and having a notebook and pen with you so you can write down what's important.

[MARYRD27]

Writing down what you want to say is very helpful and if you can anticipate the reply, write down how you would respond. It’s ok to read it. Just try to sound conversational and keep in mind that nobody is judging and usually the other person doesn’t want to stay on the phone any longer than necessary. They will appreciate you being prepared and getting right to the point, politely.

[blimpsgo180 in reply to MARYRD27]

I agree, writing down what you want to say is a big help. Also, don't be afraid to practice the phone call in your head a few times. Imagine success with the call.

You say you've "gotten shamed for needing help before," but do you have any proof? What's the evidence to back this up?

[Lucky_Cutlery in reply to blimpsgo180]

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it! Also, my family can be very dismissive at times with my mental health struggles as well as my disabilities, chalking them up to "excuses to be lazy/irresponsible". I've tried to include them in decisions about work, school, medical needs, etc. (we still live together and these things effect all our schedules and finances); they often agree to help and then procrastinate until I'm forced to do it myself.

[RS1974]

I hold and hug my stuffie (stuffed animal) when I do challenging things. Maybe that would help you too.

[CLB1125]

hi, I used to be on the phone with my cousin for hours at a time. Then we stopped chatting as much. Along came text and I never make calls now. The longer it goes the worse it’s getting. I don’t even call my sister. I think the more you do it the better it will be. I understand the shame part. Every time I text someone rather than call I have to listen to my husband’s lecture. You have gotten some good suggestions from the others. Don’t be pressured, do it in your own time.

[Starrlight in reply to CLB1125]

I agree, do it in your own time.

[mizzou7016]

I am definitely not a phone person....I don't even like to talk to relatives any more than I have to....let alone someone I don't know.....just understand that it is going to be brief....talk long enough to state your business....get the information you need....and be done....other conversations can be done in a manner that you are comfortable with