Things that make me crazy, part 647

[TormentedAndTortured]

Another one is the "one sock/one glove" phenomena. I take off my socks and clothes and leave them by the bed, I wake up in the morning, there's one sock there. I put two socks in the wash, one comes out. I put two gloves in the car, I get in to go somewhere, there's only one glove. I swear I'm going crazy. If I don't have my eye on everything at every second and know exactly where it is at every second, it grows legs and walks away. I feel like I'm being watched by a superior intelligence (not hard to find) that says - "Look, he's forgotten all about this, hide it on him so when he remembers it, it won't be there." I just took off my pants and socks near my bed and took a shower, I'm back and there's one sock. I've started tearing this hell hole apart and I still haven't found the other. It drives me mad. I think I'm already mad. How would I know? This may seem like small potatoes to some with serious issues, but the Chinese have proved that even a drop of water can make someone crazy. I feel like that's what someone is doing to me. I've tried keeping them together by putting one inside the other, etc but I'll remember that once or twice and then it's back to the same crap that's been driving me nuts for decades

[linuxusr]

Hello TormentedAndTortured: My jaw dropped when I read your post. I can tell you one thing: When you say that you are tormented and tortured, you are not exaggerating one bit! In my unprofessional opinion your disturbance is profound and severe and you must be seeing a psychiatrist. On the other hand, does one really have to be a professional or have training to observe that your suffering is profound and severe? It's kind of a no-brainer after reading your description. I would bet that if one were to ask any number of regular folk, non-professionals in mental healthcare, that most would agree that your disturbance is profound and severe! I do not wish to encroach upon your privacy, but if you are OK with it, it would be nice to know is you are under professional care or not . . . and then, possibly, the discussion can continue. Hope this helps.

[TormentedAndTortured in reply to linuxusr]

Thanks, I am seeing a therapist, but there's only so much she can do.

[linuxusr in reply to TormentedAndTortured]

I understand. Sorry if I'm probing too much. I want to help but I don't want to encroach on your privacy. When you say that there's only so much she can do, well, in a sense, that's always true. Everything has a limit. But I'm wondering if it could be something else that does have a solution where the problem of "there's only so much she can do" could change. I'll give an example from my life. The last psychoanalyst I saw for 2.5 years on an "as needed basis," I thought was the best physican and psychoanalyist since sliced bread. And he did help me to completely STOP any imminent anxiety attack, explaining that it is a biochemical problem that results from hypervention and that, with a proper breathing technique applied at the right time, any anxiety attack can be HALTED in ins tracks. If you want more information about that, ask.

I am meandering. Long story short, I took a turn for the worse, much worse, and I needed to see him for six sessions per month but he had no availability, so we agreed that I would find another psychoanalyst. I did that and, lo and behold, I found that my previous psychoanalyst, with the exception I mentioned above, was a failure. As a patient, I was not a failure. He was a failure. With my psychoanalyst after a mere 6 weeks I have a dramatic improvement in my symptoms and, not only that, I am experiencing fundamental changes in my disturbed behaviour and personality that go back decades, maybe even to the beginning of my life. The difference is night and day. So you see the first psychoanalyst was limited. There was only so much that he could do . . .

You get my point? There could be variables, that if you could find and evaluate them, could put your sense of "being limited" on a completely different track.

[TormentedAndTortured in reply to linuxusr]

Thanks, no worries about probing too much. I think I'm just a lost cause. I try to be happy, but circumstances constantly reinforce the message to me that - a) life sucks, and b) I'm an idiot. I can't get beyond it

[linuxusr in reply to TormentedAndTortured]

Regardless, come back here whenever you need to and I'll be happy to chat.

[TormentedAndTortured in reply to linuxusr]

I don't really think it does any good. But I don't know what would