27, CPTSD, Major Depression

[StainedGlass101]

I’m 27 years old and I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. I’ve been in and out of therapy, diagnosed with CPTSD, and continue to struggle with the day to day. I consider myself a smart and passionate person with lots of interests, but I have extremely low self esteem and struggle to do regular tasks, including the things I love and taking care of myself. I have hit a really low point as I’m very unhappy at my current job, but haven’t found any alternatives and don’t really know what I want to do instead. I’ve developed acid reflux from the stress and feel very sick a lot of the time, but am holding out for a doctor’s appointment at the end of the month. My insurance is also tied to my job which is an added stressor.

I’ve tried inpatient and outpatient treatments groups. I’ve reached out to a therapist and career counselor and haven’t heard back for over a week. I’m currently not on any meds bc nothing was working or making me feel like myself. Would love any treatment suggestions, or general support.

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. Hope you hear back from the therapist and career counselor soon. There is a lot of support available here.

[Zyxx]

Have you ever fasted for 2 days or more?

If so, how did you feel?

[StainedGlass101 in reply to Zyxx]

I’ve never tried fasting or been recommended it. I have issues with my appetite and gut with anxiety, so I sometimes go prolonged periods without eating, and it definitely does not help the situation. Is fasting something that you’ve found beneficial?

[Zyxx in reply to StainedGlass101]

Yes it’s been an eye opener. What loads of different medications haven’t achieved, fasting has. By day two, on average, I am symptom free.

When you say you’ve not eaten for prolonged periods, how long would that be?

[StainedGlass101 in reply to Zyxx]

I would say about a day and a half. I will bring this up with my therapist/psychiatrist. I’m glad it’s helped you!

[Zyxx in reply to StainedGlass101]

Well, except I always have to eat again….

But it does clearly mean that something is going on with food.

[samack]

My dear. You've been through a lot. First and foremost, let up on yourself. Obviously a lot of things stem from your illness, such as inability to take care of basic needs and desires.I am a zillion years older than you, so take my questions/comments with patience.

Have you gone through TMS, ketamine, or any of the newer treatments? Have you been to more than one psychiatrist, and therapists?

Is your PTSD steering the ship?

You are young and you WILL find something that will work for you. Hugs.

[StainedGlass101 in reply to samack]

Thank you so much for your kindness. I have been to different therapists/psychiatrists. I have mostly tried SSRIs/SSRNs, so I am speaking with my psychiatrist now about some alternatives. I have been resistant to treatments like TMS/Ketamine, because they have some fogging effects, and I’ve always been in school or trying to work. I definitely think it’s time to take some time off to try something a bit more intensive.

I’ve managed to make some phone calls to new therapists so that we can make a plan together. I’ve been taking off of work and getting some support from my family and hoping that they can help with insurance. I’m so grateful for my support system.

I think I just really need to take some time off to take care of myself again and get back on some sort of treatment. I know I’m young, but it feels like I’ve tried some many things already and this cycle is exhausting. Really trying to stay present.

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to StainedGlass101]

Ask your doctor about tetracyclics (cf. mirtazapine). I have no idea if they'd be appropriate for your situation, but they're a different class to the SSRIs/SSRNs, so they might be worth investigation.

Good luck. I hope you find something that works for you.

[samack in reply to StainedGlass101]

Time off sounds good. I'm trying low dose lithium right now. It's definitely a tough journey. If you listen to Scott Eilers on YouTube, he has some wise insights. I think I still am looking for the right therapist. I know we need to be in the present moment. It's a challenge. I started my treatment resistance about 10 years ago. As an older person, 65, it feels like time has run out on me. That's why I say, you have a lot of time to heal, though it's still a struggle.

[StainedGlass101 in reply to samack]

Thank you both so much for your suggestions. Samack, I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine what that’s like. I’ve done multiple group therapies with all ages, and I have to believe there is hope for us all. I hope you things get easier for you.