Waving my white flag today

[Doubledog]

I finally reached the end of my rope and just called in sick for tomorrow. My treatment resistant depression is very low. I often think about trying to move into a less stressful job or cutting back my hours, but cannot figure out what else I can do at a similar salary. I’ve been wanting to change careers/job for a long time. I’m also 56 and still dealing with hormone shifts and potential perimenopause.

Today was a perfect storm.

Wondering if others have found ways to shift to other jobs for reduced stress and making a change. I struggle with change and not sure I could even interview well in current state. I’m struggling day by day.

if others have found any help for perimenopause that makes depression worse, I’m interested in all.

Feeling like a failure and can’t imagine doing this work for another 10+ years.

Thanks!

[Chocoholic80]

Hi Doubledog. I don't know anything about perimenopause that makes depression worse, though I think I'm entering perimenopause myself. But I understand not feeling like you can do work anymore. I've been in such terrible situations, and I'm like how do I do this for another 20+ years (I'm 43)?

May I ask what kind of work you do? Maybe we can brainstorm about what work you could move into that would be less stressful?

Sending love <3

[Doubledog in reply to Chocoholic80]

Thanks chocoholic!

I appreciate your response. The piece of my job that is stressful if the pressure from the clients. Everything is urgent. If I could find something where I can work remote and be an individual contributor. I just haven’t found anything that sticks. I’m a good problem solver, like research and digging for info- I just can’t seem to find something that pays ok that might use those skills. 😀

[Beevee]

Hi Doubledog

Very sorry to learn of your suffering and know how it feels.

Those words "treatment resistant" caught my attention and the subject of a post I wrote a couple of years ago on this forum that might be helpful.

You may not realise this but the title of your post is also the exact attitude anxiety sufferers need to develop towards the symptoms in order to recover.

Instead of continuing to struggle against the symptoms, surrendering to them completely and accepting come what may will eventually bring peace of mind and body.

Anxiety, and the depression that develops is resistant to all methods and techniques designed to stop those negative thoughts and feelings, to feel better. It is also resistant to any form of struggle. All that does is add more stress and tension to an already stressed and tense person.

It is not resistant to having a genuine attitude of acceptance. By accepting or allowing the symptoms to be present and surrendering themselves, the sufferer no longer adds more stress and strain to the symptoms of stress and strain and creates the space for recovery to happen.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes ❤️

[Doubledog]

Thank you! This is very helpful. I will look more at your posts. For someone who is constantly trying to relax, distract and tune out…. You’re saying to just acknowledge it and feel it. Is that accurate? Let me know any tips on how you learned to do this as it’s certainly not in my instincts at this point. I have started avoiding anything that might cause anxiety and there is much ie: crowds, noise, crowds in planes and airports, etc…. Etc…

[CJ863]

Just read your post and I could have written it myself about 18 months ago. At the time i was really struggling, had some time off and spoke to my manager about how I was feeling, they referred me to OH. OH advised a role without customer contact if possible. Got this arranged after about 6 months which helped, recently cut my hours a bit and it has made an amazing difference to how I feel. Hopefully you have managed to organise something to help, I just wanted to share what helped me.