effects of childhood trauma

[sunrays335]

hey guys. I developed certain coping methods during the trauma that I experienced throughout my childhood. These reactions are like engraved into my brain. It's affecting a lot of areas in my life but, specifically, my close relationships. Like poorly affecting the quality of them. I just want to feel comfortable being close to someone but all of my trust issues and abandonment issues get in the way. Im not looking for someone to fix all my problems (Ik I need therapy to help the most), but if anyone has experienced or is experiencing something similar plz share. also if anyone has any tips or tricks that help them cope/get through it plz share. Because it feels impossible to deal with at this point and i feel very overwhelmed by it all.

[fauxartist]

Get to know and understand those haunts and past traumas ....read everything you can, find sites that talk about how there are certain groups of us who are exactly the same in the ways of abandonment issues....emotional abandonment is very devastating and does make it very difficult to trust someone enough to get close to, because the fear of being hurt again and again is certainly engrained into the deepest recesses of the Limbic region of the brain. Mental trauma from repeated abuse as a kid often leaves us with CPTSD....which is a very deep issue as well. Finding a therapist or counselor that understands child abuse trauma and abandonment issues is paramount to having a good guide to learn to understand and cope.

These are serious deep wounds and fears....and it took a long time to hurt us so deeply, it's going to take some time to heal from much of the pain, and accept what we cannot change, and learn coping skills to deal with the rest....your not alone. This abuse was not your fault, you didn't deserve it, and you did nothing wrong....the adults failed you, you were just a kid.

[sunrays335 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you so much for this. I can tell you understand a lot about it and I appreciate you helping me feel more understood. I feel less alone now <3

[fauxartist in reply to sunrays335]

Your never alone with this stuff anymore....you have a whole bunch of us here with varying stories that all have changed our lives forever....but the same basic results of hurt and trauma....so I'm glad your here and have a safe place to openly share.

[RS1974]

Hi I had similar issues all my life and had countless failed relationships and it wasn't until I got with my third husband and went into the mental hospital at 45 yrs old and did a year in Intensive Outpatient Program and a few more hospitals stays to get my psych meds in order and one more year of IOP and practicing what I learned in therapy and from liking myself to loving myself.It is possible you just have to be an active participant in your own healing.

Take care

[sunrays335 in reply to RS1974]

Thank you for sharing your experience, and letting me know that I'm not alone. Reading about your progress inspires a lot of hope in me!

[RS1974 in reply to sunrays335]

You're welcome sweetie 🥰 You aren't alone I'd read on up Childhood Emotional Neglect and self esteem stuff. Hugs🤗

[designguy]

As someone who suffered with childhood trauma/c-ptsd my suggestion is to find a therapist that specializes in treating trauma/c-ptsd and work with them. Mine used emdr as part of the therapy and it was very helpful in my healing and no longer being triggered by emotions/memories. I went through a number of different therapists and treatment modalities before working with the trauma therapist and it made the difference. I also tried emdr with a conventional therapist and it didn't help but when I worked with the trauma therapist if did. Coming to terms with and healing your trauma will allow you to move forward in your life.

[sunrays335 in reply to designguy]

Thanks and congratulations on your progress! This information is really helpful to me.

[designguy in reply to sunrays335]

You're welcome. One thing to watch for is that a good trauma therapist using emdr therapy will spend a good amount of time before actually starting the emdr with you to make sure you feel safe and trust them and the process before you start doing the deep emotional work. It's painful to bring up and process all of the old trauma emotions but it is so worth it.