looking for a little hope

[BlueAurora]

hey guys,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. But I’ve reached a point in my life again where I am in crisis mode and I have no idea what else to do. First things first, yes I have a psychiatrist and a therapist and have for years. i just want to get that out there so other answers are given.

with that being said, I have literally ZERO idea on how to handle my emotions. I am genuinely afraid of them. And I have tried to sit with them and let them just ride and I can’t without getting worked up. My intrusive thoughts just don’t allow me to say “okay, sadness is here” and put nothing else to it. I begin to spiral because I overthink and have the hardest time quitting my mind.

do you guys have any advice or things that work for you when you have big emotions you don’t know what to do with? And please feel free to teach me like a child learns this because I was not taught so I just stuff everything down and it is NOT working for me. I find the most trouble when I’m trying to not stuff them down or trying to just label them and not add anything else to it if that makes sense. I’ve found journaling helps a little but I want more tools in my tool belt.

Thank you guys so much in advance. I am so grateful to have a safe place to come to anytime over the years when I’ve needed help. You guys don’t make me feel stupid for what I’m going through or how I’m feeling and it helps me to know others have been or are where I am. So thank you. Each of you. 💜

[Dolphin14]

BlueAurora

I'm wondering if maybe your therapy is not the right type?

If you are stuffing emotions it may be a learned behavior that stems from not feeling safe to do so.

It's hard to say how to work through this because I think the goal is learning that you have a right to speak.

Do you have a trauma history?

🐬

[MayoKetchup]

Hi BlueAurora.

No joke, sometimes I scream for relief. When I’m extremely frustrated or on the verge of tears, screaming helps. It’s a way for me to “physically” let out some tension that’s been building inside me. Then I journal to further process my feelings. Sometimes I talk aloud as if I’m a friend listening to my problems to see if I can get a different perspective if a friend with my issues was going thru the same situation. I hope this helps, and you get whatever you need from this community to heal.

[Dachshundlover252]

I find that group therapy helps me a lot. This won’t necessarily help you in the moment, but knowing that other people are struggling with the same things that you are might help, at least it has for me. The reason I joined this forum was to locate therapy groups in my area. I have not found one yet and I’m not sure that this is the right space for that type of activity.

In addition to having extreme social anxiety disorder, I am also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and I find it very beneficial to go to AA meetings at least as it relates to my alcohol and drug addictions. Having the support and fellowship of the other AA members has added one of the most valuable tools to my alcohol/drug coping skill set. I hope you are doing okay.

[LoveforAll41]

Howdy BlueAurora, thanks for your message, I also have a very hard time validating any emotions that I feel are negative. I have found that it helps some to try to think where it is coming from. "It makes sense that I feel extremely anxious at work because I feel like I am not contributing." "It makes sense that I feel a deep sadness that the weekend is over and I have to go back to work and I have issues feeling like I have to earn worth." "It makes sense that I feel hopeless my wife is upset with the kids because I want to be able to control everything and feel I should have done more so that this did not happen." Then we can work on showing ourselves compassion for whatever may have driven us to have thinking errors for things that are not healthy, and accepting the things that are. Maybe this struggling in your journey means you are making some real progress? Maybe like Dolphin wrote you can change your therapy type? I appreciate your post and I wish you peace and growth☮️

[frailstateofmind44]

I’ve also been really struggling with my emotional stability lately too. It feels like I never have control of my mood and the smallest things send me into a complete spiral. And it’s like everything feels so difficult and overwhelming to process. I used to only ever experience deep periods of depression or numbness but now it’s like I feel too much but it’s still all bad. If that makes sense lol.

I wish I had some good tips to offer but just wanted to say I understand how you’re feeling 💙 hope you are well

[BlueAurora]

Replying to all,

Thank you guys so much! I knew this community would come through.

For those who didn’t think they had much to contribute, your time and effort to just comment and let me know I’m not alone or at least thought about meant more to me than you know.

For those with advice on what has worked for them, thank you. I will look into these things and try them and see if I can add them to my ways of coping.

To those who suggested I try trauma therapy, I think you are on to something. It’s hard right, because you know people who have GONE through severe trauma, and even though you know you shouldn’t compare, it’s like I don’t FEEL like my stuff I went through was “traumatic enough” to be considered trauma I guess. I hope that makes sense.

But to answer another question, yes, I never felt like I had the right to speak. I wasn’t allowed to feel my feelings, I had to shut them up for lack of better words. I wasn’t taught what to do with them. I was made to feel like I took up too much space. I wasn’t supported or encouraged. My mental health issues were “too much” or I was “being a drama queen”. I have been made to think nothing I do is ever good enough and I’m pretty sure I grew up with a narcissist, but I am not sure because I don’t know a lot about what that means.

I hope this helps give more perspective and helps the conversation to continue.

Also, has anyone been through trauma therapy? What is that normally like or what types of things should I expect?

Thanks again you guys for all of your help. I genuinely mean it from the bottom of my heart.