I’m thinking

[Rufus07]

about going back into therapy. This is a very hard decision for me because it has never worked for me before…. 30 + years of trying. I’m at rock bottom and don’t know what else to do. I have no coping skills to help myself. I’m a mess daily. I’ve always had a hard time going because I’ve always felt like they were judging me. Always felt like I was saying the wrong things.just flat out uncomfortable. Another reason I’m hesitant is I don’t want to play the “find the right” therapist game.

[Hidden]

Don't worry. You can't say the wrong thing to a therapist and they are not allowed to judge. It's their job to help you sort out your thoughts and emotions.

Yes, If someone is making you uncomfortable you can ask for another therapist.

I know it's hard but as Lady Macbeth said, "Screw your courage to the sticking place."

We're here to support you.

[Rufus07 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much

[Downandout123 in reply to Rufus07]

I certainly agree with you about finding the right therapist. I haven't had therapy in a long time. I had finally found someone I liked, and the office kept changing my appointments and I had had enough. You have nothing to lose by giving it one more shot. You just might hit on the right person this time. Good luck to you in whatever choice you make..🍀

[Rufus07 in reply to Downandout123]

Thank you. I had a therapist a couple years ago who I really clicked with but then I had to change insurance and she didn’t take it.

[Downandout123 in reply to Rufus07]

Yes that's another problem-finding someone who takes your insurance.😣

[Rufus07 in reply to Downandout123]

I’m going to give it one more try

[Downandout123 in reply to Rufus07]

That's great! I hope y ou find one you like and that it works out for you!

[Rufus07 in reply to Downandout123]

😊

[momander]

Hi,I agree !! It IS difficult finding the right therapist!! Youve got to feel comfortable with them, feel, feel you can trust them, feel they are valuing you, listening to you, and make you feel you are important and worthy of happiness!! I have been a private therapist for some years now, and I am passionate about my job. I try my best to put people at ease when they come to see me. I very much take my lead from my clients, and only when they feel comfortable and relaxed will we then start our session. I hope you find your person, and I hope you find peace and happiness. We all deserve that. Good luck, and take care. Xx

[Rufus07 in reply to momander]

Do you have any openings? lol. You sound like a beautiful person and anyone would be so lucky to have you with them on their journey. Thank you and you take care also.

[momander in reply to Rufus07]

Hi Rufus,It looks like you are in USA, and I'm here in Scotland UK

[Rufus07 in reply to momander]

Boat trip! Lol

[momander in reply to Rufus07]

Well? Now that's an option!!

[CanYouHearMe]

finding the right therapist is indeed hard. However when you find the right one it is worth it. I have had one that was fantastic, my current one is good, I am liking what she is doing for me, however maybe 3 others i felt like did nothing for me.

For your other concerns, trust me they have heard it all. So very unlikely anything you will say will surprise them. They certainly won’t judge you. I say give it a go and be open minded about it helping you. Good luck, o know for me thee hardest part was always making the first call.

[Rufus07 in reply to CanYouHearMe]

You are right about making that first call. It definitely is hard. Thank you for your reply🙂

[OrphanNanee]

It can be hard to find a good fit between a client and a counselor. I like you said, you're a rock bottom. Now isn't before anymore.... (kinda like: feelings aren't facts) !! 😉 So Go. What if - just a mustard seed of Hope ... What if - you really like your new counselor!?

What if - this is the time that it helps?!

What if - the above happens to be true and you don't go ?!?!

That rock bottom, the only way is up. You got to be looking up in order to notice, always a catch... Look up now. What do you see? Nm.

Instead look online for a look at different counselor's profiles. Would you prefer a woman or a man counselor? Do you want somebody to spend counseling for many many years or do you want someone fresh out of school that could possibly have new techniques? Do you want video calls for your appointments for in office appointments? (Okay that was a silly question, but it was a question). Do you want a counselor this Christian based or specializes in a specific area? Do you want somebody that's your age or older or younger? There's a section in every counselor's profile that tells what they specialize in, not the introductory paragraph but further into their profile.

After you get one or two or three that's a possible, or a maybe or an 'okay I'll go with this one' and see ...

Then -

Dial a few numbers.

They'll call back. Just see.

And as people 'We always see what we're looking for' - so try to be a little open minded, with just a little hope, just a little.... Again, Never Mind. 😉

Just call !! 😊.

.

[Rufus07 in reply to OrphanNanee]

You gave me a lot to think about! Thank you. I appreciate you🙂

[Sqlguy]

I could have written this, except for the part about starting therapy again. I have MDD, currently on Parnate and Ativan. I am 77 and have been through well over a dozen therapists (stopped keeping count) in that time and exactly ONE has helped me at all (about 30 years ago). The rest were either neutral or outrightly harmful , tryingto impose their own agendas on me (one guy knew I was anti-religion and yet put a rosary on the table for every session so we could be closer to God. Another spent 90% of the sessions telling me about how her family escaped Eastern Euurope. I could tell you many more stories like this). I would never see a therapist again; I wasted so much time and money for nothing.

Good luck with another comment here that said "You can't say the wrong thing to a therapist and they are not allowed to judge. It's their job to help you sort out your thoughts and emotions." Wishful thinking at best, absolutely untrue for most I have been to. And your comment about finding the right one is spot on; next to impossible.

So I guess my questions is "Why are you thinking of trying it again?" if you know all the poblems associated with therapy, which you seem to? I don't know what your main problem is, depression, anxiety, or something else, but are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? If not, I would ceratinly do that before I would see a therapist (I personally never would again, but you might be, it seems like). Don't forget that although a legit therapist has some degrees and some kind of license from a progfessional organization, ANYBODY can write themselves a certificate and become a "therapist", and most of them need therapy more than you do.

So of course it's your choice, but you should look back on all the time and/or money you've spent with bad ones or trying to find a good one, and the outcomes you've had. Then decide if you still want to try again.

[Rufus07 in reply to Sqlguy]

My last one was a recovering alcoholic and tried to make me feel like I was an alcoholic because I drank wine.

[Hidden]

I've struggled with this also. I've went through a few in the past. And personally, talking makes me feel worse. It helped a tad bit in a way, but then I was constantly thinking about it which led to me being more depressed. They just seemed to be in it for the paycheck. Just looked and at me like they didn't care much. And one judged me based on my fear of eating. So I just quit going.

[Rufus07 in reply to Hidden]

My last one made me feel like I was wasting her time. Talking never made me feel better either. Logically thinking, I probably won’t go. When I’m feeling lost and hopeless is when I think of going back. Good days I don’t think about it.

[Hidden in reply to Rufus07]

That's how I am. Like I want to in a way, but i know it won't do much for me.

[OrphanNanee]

How do you get where everybody's coming from with their comments. Especially sqlGuy. Without realizing it a lot of counselors or therapists go into that field because they're in need but not having that insight they left with their judgment and condemnation and personal opinions and lots of other character defects. My insurance pays for my therapist and she just dumped me. I noticed a change in her several weeks ago and I knew it was coming. Every week she said you are so negative, well, duh, depression, hello! So I got a new one we'll see how it goes I hate starting over. Although I do know that it takes more certificate to be a therapist or license counselor. It's a master's degree level profession, that most don't do a very good job at. I still say try one, Rufjs07. You've been down this road before if you're in the new therapist don't click. Kindly back out. You just never know, I don't know if you've had a good fit with one before but I could possibly be the next one, if that's what you choose to do. The comment that said be looking for a psychiatrist is most excellent suggestion, if you don't have one.

I like this group. Different opinions, different backgrounds, different everything almost - except .... Depression and ALL that comes with it. I'm so sorry that you all understand 'where I live' so to speak. I wish you didn't. It's an ugly ugly part of town! Hang in there everybody! Seriously, hang in there with your mustard seed! ✌️

[OrphanNanee in reply to OrphanNanee]

The first sentence is supposed to say: I do get where everybody's coming from....

[jackiesj]

Rufus do the best for you...i have to tell you i had a cockatiel I named Rufus who use to whistle at woman that came in. one day a male friend came in and Rufus kissed him. Bird had bite the hand that fed it.....heres your bird dude. hope you got a smile.'

[Rufus07 in reply to jackiesj]

Thank you