my introduction

[noneveralone]

Hi ,

At the outset, I would like to apologise if any of these posts are triggering to anyone as I am being open and honest with my health so that I can learn , engage and support. This is my first post and sorry if it is a bit long.

I hope everyone is doing ok. I would like to connect with you all to learn and engage in discussions. I have a few health issues which has resulted in me being long term off sick in my clinical role. I have always had an underlying depression /Anxiety since my childhood days but I had a few cris points at age 14/22/35(worst)/36 all which lead to a failed suicide attempt. I came out stronger (as I thought) with more coping strategies at work / education etc. i have been more of a giverI just realised the power of self compassionate care after my worst crisis at age 35.

I have however gone to a stage now where I am struggling with health issues and seeing no way out of it. I try to but then fall in the troughs of despair and hopelessness. Any planning for the future either draws a blank. Even thinking casues me a kind of extreme cognitive fatigue. My wife also feels if I may have an element of ADHD since my childhood which is now getting out of control. I have arranged a visit to my GP to discuss and probably get a referral for a consultation with the psychiatrist. I am struggling to engage in any return to work thinking as I get easily distracted/overwhelmed/inattentive and either give up or move on to something else resulting finally in giving up all. I have a long standing history of procrastinating and giving up even after putting in lot of effort (example- cancelling meetings /job interviews etc at the last minute. I get extremely anxious with deadlines/unfamiliar tasks . At present I would appreciate if anyone had any experience of this and any suggestions/tips. I am very keen on engaging in work, however small with reasonable adjustments for my health issues.

P.s- please try to read the ‘about me ‘ section in my profile which will give you an additional context.

Many thanks in advance and all keep well and safe.

[Phoenix1992]

Hello noneveralone,

I will say welcome to this forum, although I am fairly new to it myself. I think you will find support on the forum and hopefully lots of suggestions from others with similar struggles/challenges.

I have been out of work due to my mental health deteriorating 2 years ago. I am exploring volunteer opportunities for when I am ready to do this.

I have finally found the right (for my situation) professional support since September, to help with my root causes of my anxiety/social anxiety. An excellent GP and private therapy that most of my PIP pays for.

[noneveralone in reply to Phoenix1992]

Hi Phoenix1992 , Many thanks for taking the time to read and respond although you are new to it.

I am so happy you found the right support. It is always nice when you have a good engaging health care professional . I am currently browsing through similar posts and even being able to share my thoughts in a forum is beginning to give me some headspace . I also understand it could increase my fatigue if I take too much in.

In addition, just a mater of thought- I also found an app called silveeclod quite useful but not sure if you could just sign in as when I did previously you needed to have a Mental health professional to monitor. You can perhaps discuss this with your private therapist.

I wish you the very best with your recovery.

Take care

[Phoenix1992 in reply to noneveralone]

You are welcome. There are so many helpful posts on here, it is worth exploring and I am the same, I dip in to it when I feel I can.

Thank you for the app, I will have a look. Therapy is very full on right now, but always good to ideas for the future.

I realise for me, I have to experiment with different things and then focus on what feels relevant or useful for me. But I love being curious fortunately, so that part comes easy.

I definitely feels less isolated with my struggles since finding this forum and the PTSD one (which includes Comples PTSD.)

So many lovely people on these 2 forums, who are also struggling and yet so strong.

[noneveralone in reply to Phoenix1992]

thanks again Phoenix1992 . Your reply is very reassuring and I am also spending time reading some of the posts on and off in between my fatigue episodes. I’m currently exhausted and in my bed with trying to keep mobile within my home environment but finding even that makes me so exhausted requiring a long recovery period.

I’m learning to be kind to myself and take small steps every minute than rushing . As you, im definitely getting the positivity from many members who have seen many struggles,yet going strong 👍 thank you and we will keep in touch on how we move on from here and support each other through every way

[Phoenix1992]

Thank you for your lovely reply. And I am so glad my response is helpful for you.

[noneveralone]

Hi Phoenix1992 yes it is extremely useful and special as you are my first message buddy since signing up this morning . I like your positivity which is always helpful when we all are going through tough times 🙂

[gettingsomewhere]

Hi noneveralone.

I will add my welcome also and hope you find support here as I have.

Firstly I'm sorry to read of your struggles. I read your bio and am I correct in understanding that you suffer back problems? Very common for those in the caring professions as I know only too well.

This may have no relevance to you but just in case - I have found help from SIRPA UK sirpa.org.

All the best.