First, I want to tell everybody the support. The understanding the sharing has been phenomenal and thank you so much!
The something good I wanted to post because as many of you know to fight those negative thoughts, you got to have the positive ones.
So when it comes to work I like the routine and everything it helps but I've never found an employer that quite was right for me if that sounds right. LOL
And I currently work as the head English teacher at a school in Japan and it's actually a Christian School.
Now I was raised Baptist and went to Christian Church as well, but personally I've identified myself as agnostic. And in the interview itself I was honest with them and they were very understanding.
So now fast forward almost 3 years and I've never worked with owners that were so understanding, caring and respectful.
I can honestly say it feels like for the first time that I work somewhere where my opinion and my insights actually valued. And that makes such a difference to me in my heart and my anxiety levels that I don't fear going to work. I enjoy it.
Also, as a bonus I get to work with the preschool kids as the teacher so you know having those little ones. Hug on you and love you unconditionally is just wow! That really does make me happy and it makes my inner voices happy LOL.