Educator - anxiety -depression

[BrownDog118]

I am an educator. I have about 14 years left before I can retire. My job provides me with a lot of stress as I am the head of the school. When the notification on my phone rings, I feel my heart skip a beat. Sometimes I feel like I cannot take one more event. Even something as simple as a staff member calling out, or dealing with an angry parent, a union issue, or dealing with unrealistic expectations from my own supervisor.

I wish I could walk away and do something different but I have a family to support. I can feel my job taking time off my life. Most nights, I am clenched so tight that I wake up. I don't think I have slept well in the past 10 years. I wear a mouthguard to bed. Every year I have it replaced by my dentists because it is literally shredded to nothing.

I try to exercise regularly, I try to eat well (I am weak for sweets), I try to be kind to everyone. Yet for some reason I always in pain. I replay events in my mind all the time. It makes me feel crazy. Sometimes I go through moments like I don't even know what I am doing here. And, I literally don't understand why I am here, or for that matter -- why any of us are here.

I want peace, but I always want to be able to provide well for my family. The two seem to be at juxtaposition to one another. I don't know what to do. Please help.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

The body keeps score unfortunately when we are in a high stress environment. It's fine to treat yourself to a lil sweet treat.

May I recommend a book called Dare by Barry McDonagh to help with the anxiety of work. There's also YouTube videos of him if you prefer that way.

I know it's difficult to leave a job especially since you put time in that job and to walk away and leave money on the table is tough. Sometimes though we may have to do that just to protect our peace and health.

I understand about the text message anxiety. I get that way whenever my sister, JG texts me. Because I don't know if it's going to be about our mom, something benign or she's in a terrible mood and wants to take it out on someone. I've gotten to the point where I archive her texts just so I don't see her name in my messages because the meir sight gives me anxiety.

Sending you love and hugs 🫂❤️

[Olinick]

I totally get what you are saying. I am an educator, although, I'm not in administration. I teach special education. Being in education is overall a very stressful job whether you are a teacher or a principal. Kids are more difficult, parents are more difficult and higher administration and state regulations don't make the job easy. You do sound as if you are a very kind person which could be why you are feeling so stressed. You care about the people you deal with and doing a good job. I'm looking at making it another 5 - 7 years so I don't have as much time as you. At one point I did walk away from teaching but in the end I did return, although I have paid the price ever since. I can't get professional status because I get let go just when I am to finally get it so I have to start all over again some where else. I would really think hard about leaving education all together but it may be something you need to do. Life is too short to spend so much time in a job you aren't happy about. I know it would be cut in pay but I have known some principals step down and go back into the classroom. Have you considered doing that? Hang in there you are not alone in this. I bet most of your staff is feeling very stressed too.

[BrownDog118 in reply to Olinick]

Thank you for the support. I have thought it over and have decided to map out my arc for the last half of my career. I am trying to learn to accept my situation. I am trying to learn to accept all the things that I cannot control. I am trying to accept that I do have anxiety and stop trying to stop the feeling of being anxious. It has helped for the moment, but I know things come and go.

I appreciate everything you have said. I appreciate everything Clever Girl said as well.

Thank you and God bless you.

[Hidden]

You must take frequent breaks and do meditation or play word scrabble for little while. So that you can refocus and deal with things in fresh state of mind.

We, carers deal with so many things but we always make time for our self or rest alittle

Looking at scientific breakthroughs always help me and interests are important as mental health priority

[Hidden]

Some things that can help alittle

Affirmations on pinterest, just google or youtube

Motivational youtube videos

Self help books or youtube

you can search any topic on youtube

Journaling/diary helps you in therapy

Gratitude journal however small