Go outside the other day, that is.
I looked outside, then I told myself I was going to go to the store for milk, and then I talked myself out of going. I did that talking thing, all day long!
I just felt my loneliness so strongly that day that I couldn't find my way out of the covered box it put me in.
Damn! Anxiety is a f*cking beast!
I don’t leave the house much anymore with my anxiety. But recently I’ve been doing baby steps again. I’ve practiced driving a couple times, never outside of my neighborhood but a little longer each time. I try to take walks mailbox by mailbox.
When I had slightly less anxiety, but still a lot and I needed something at the store, I’d try to get in and out as fast as possible with the main thing I needed. If you need milk, maybe go to the closest gas station and just focus on the milk. Or maybe a CVS that has a self checkout.
Sometimes I think who the heck cares if I look odd - I probably don’t know anyone anyways. And as a customer myself, I don’t really pay much attention to other customers so they’re probably not paying me much mind either.
But I hear you. Sometimes it’s just too overwhelming once the what ifs start coming.
Yes, I understand you.
My family has never been the supportive branch that I need. It's not their fault, I know it's difficult to believe that one of their members might be so afraid to even look through a blind slat to see the outside world, but that is often where I am.
I am just living in my moments, the past is gone, and the future is unknown, I'm just trying to live right now, and sometimes, right now isn't easy!
Thank you, for the comments, and I hope your anxiety goes into hiding from your life.
Fighting same for years. It comes back full force if I don't push myself. Now I have mobility issues so it's easier to give up. But baby steps is the only way back. Even just going outside. Sometimes it helps me to get angry at the anxiety. Mine started after stress at a job I hated and lack of sleep. I realized that when I panic I started holding my breath. When I have anxiety or panic I can usually get it to pass by concentrating on slow deep breaths.
I send you the energy of peace and restful spirit in your mind.
All of this anxiety stuff can lead us to a pool of dank water, that we cannot drink, and the cruelty is, that the thirst that is in me, is simply me wanting to have some relief.
Drugs haven't touched my anxiety, and losses this year have been extra weight that my shoulders have no more strength to carry. I feel my road veering off to a direction and I can't turn the wheel anymore. It's closer to over than not, and I'm actually glad about this. I'm worn out, not suicidal, but knowledgeable about my truth.
Peace, to you, and power of inner strength to overcome, if you can, but live, regardless.
I can relate to that. I'm not suicidal, but I'm tired of living. Just waiting to die. You have the kindness to wish another peace and the strength to go on. I wish the same for you. Please keep posting. There is understanding and kindness and support on this site. You express what you're going through so well. ✍️
I have had this exact thing so many times when I got myself ready to go out, but the anxiety started and I retreated back inside. I live alone and since Covid have been more and more isolated. Everything can be bought online. Things can be returned online. I went through a stretch from early April to September this yr where I didn't leave my place once. My Social Worker had close my file on that April day and I no longer felt a need to go out.
The whole Summer passed by. Then I had chest pain and forced myself to go to the ER. I was admitted and spent a few days there. They said I needed exercise and a better diet. (Duh).
So , I started walking every night around 2-3 am when no one else was around. I did it every night until maybe last week and now I'm finding reasons to not go out walking. I stopped eating chips and fast food for 6 weeks but ordered a pizza last night.
I find it hard to do self-care when I am the only the one who cares about myself, and most of the time I dont I don't have a SO or children. I don't have friends.
If you don't love yourself, who will? I keep asking myself this question. Sorry for being long-winded. I wish you the best.
Started doing everything online during the pandemic and shelter in place. Made it easy to become a hermit. 😟
It made it way too easy and it was encouraged during the pandemic so there was no feelings of guilt for not going out.
Started living on my phone during COVID. Didn't go out. Stopped taking care of myself. Doing less and less. Beginning to work on cleaning the house. 🙄
Cleaning gets overwhelming for me. When I let things go for too long, it seems like such a huge job!
I've got about twenty years worth. Just can't stand the clutter and stacks anymore. There's a lot of sadness connected to so much of it. Feels good (so far) letting it go.
I'm really happy that you're getting through it! I did it once where I got rid of stacks and stacks of stuff, but now I've had water damage in my bathroom and living room and cleaning just doesn't seem possible. I have to move, somehow.
🚣♂️
It happens. Don't beat yourself up too harshly. You actually thought about going out and thought about what you were going to do. It may sound like nothing, but that's important that you are thinking about venturing outside. Small steps.
Everyday won't be a winner. Some days are going to be better than others. Just don't forget that bad days don't last forever.
I struggled with it. I talked myself out of voting multiple times. I even looked into voting by mail. To literally avoid just going down the street less than a mile to the local library. With the help of my hypno therapist to teach me that technique and my partner to push me. I made myself get out of bed and get dressed and was in the car. I admitted to myself that yesterday, I'm scared and nervous. But I am safe. I'm safe in my own body. I managed to cast my vote. After I did that I asked my partner to take me home. I didn't have any energy to go get breakfast or wait in line at a fast-food place. I just wanted to go home.
It'll be like that for a while. Until you build up the tolerance of getting out there. Hell I even get anxious when I go see my mom and she only lives a few blocks from me.
And if I'm honest I'm not really looking forward to Monday. I have to do labs. There is no avoiding it. And it's scary for me. But I need to so I can see my psychiatrist. I have to see my psychiatrist in order to get my clozanpram. I'm probably going to cry and maybe even reschedule my appointment with my psychiatrist until I can do it.
Sending love and hugs 🫂 ❤️
Small goals set. Now can I do it.
I’m just over feeling like this I just wish it would let up
I just want to stop the pain
why do we live if it just hurts
I'm wasting my life 
